Husband said I’m too fat and unattractive

[Lizz1986]

My husband told me that I was getting bigger and was less attractive. A week later he told me that he would never touch me again if I gained a lot of weight after having a baby. He hasn’t initiated sex in years and wouldn’t look sideways at me if I was changing my clothes. We’ve been married for 7 years and don’t have children. At this point I’m devastated. We’ve been separated for 6 months and he wants me back. Part of me misses him and wants to go back but I also don’t want a physical relationship with him after those hurtful words. Any advice? I can’t keep going on like this.

Also should mention that I’m 5’7” and size 6. He’s now trying to convince me that he doesn’t care about weight but I’m hesitant to believe him. Please help...

I was thinking your husband was a dick all through your first paragraph. When I came to read your height and size, I changed my mind - he's not just a dick, he's a gas lighting psycho. Don't go back to him.

You’re 5 7 and a size 6 and he calls you fat? Really ?
Stay separated.

That's totally weird. You're tiny.

Do not even think about going back to this twisted man!! It will only end in absolute disaster for you and whatever chance you had at the life you actually deserve!

He is trying to push you into an eating disorder - you must weigh what 8 stone

Run and find someone else

5ft 7 and size 6??? He's a knob, sorry but he is. You deserve better.

No easy way to say this: he's a grade A cunt!! Sorry should have capitalized that: CUNT!

He has found a weak point and used it against you. People who who love you see your week point and support you.

He hasn't changed. He's just changed tactics. You are worth more than this. Short term pain, long term gain! !

He is an asshole.

An XXXL one.

Don’t go back! You’re a size 6, that is far from fat. He’s delusional

But actually it wouldn't matter if you were more than a size 6, the comments would show total lack or respect for you whatever your weight.

How can you be fat at a size 6? Does he have some kind of skinny fetish?

You must, just must, as in absolutely MUST bin him off. Walk. Leave. Go. Someone like this is beyond fixing. This isn't normal. It's not something that can be or should be brushed off. It's narcissistic abuse. No matter how scary it feels to leave it is nowhere near as scary as looking back at life not knowing who you are because you wasted it all with a parasite like that. Whatever it takes, walk x

Why would you want to be with this utter dickhead?

16 or 6?

He is a cunt. A jealous fucking cunt because you are obviously much more attractive than him. How dare he. Please do not go back to him. Find someone who will cherish you instead

What a bastard. I would stay separated if i was you!

I wouldn't go back into a relationship that had no sex. Would it be enough?

Whatever your size, the best way to lose weight is to kick this loser into touch. You’re separated now. Make it permanent. You honestly do not need this idiot in your life.

5 ft 7 and a 6?! Did you mean 16? Either way he shouldn't speak to you that way. If you're a size 6 then he's mad.

At your height and size 6 it's completely unrealistic for you to be any smaller without engaging in dangerous weight loss.

I don't know if you are toned to go with a slim frame but even if not, your husband sounds like a total twat.

You should not tolerate being made to feel bad, you should definitely not lose weight for that man!

Seriously even if you were 5ft2 and size 20 his comments would be not very nice. But considering the reality of the situation this seems like negging to keep you in a state of perpetual low self esteem and justify him witholding affection. Please do not go back to this guy.

If this is what he's like when he wants you back, I can't fathom how horrible he must be when he's in a bad mood. He's not good enough for you.

Is that that a typo? Did you mean 16? Or are you size 6? It doesn't matter either way he's rude but if you are a size 6 then he's ridiculous.

Stay separated. He's an abusive arsehole, so not wanting to be intimate with him is perfectly normal and instinctual.

I weighed 130 pounds when we married and gained up to 150 pounds when he made the comment. I lost the weight but still feel terrible about myself. I’m a size 6 and used to feel gorgeous but now I feel like a whale. I’m so sad. This is my second marriage and I just want someone to cherish me. He told me he said that since he was angry with me. Some things you just can’t unhear...