Husband said I’m too fat and unattractive

[Lizz1986]

My husband told me that I was getting bigger and was less attractive. A week later he told me that he would never touch me again if I gained a lot of weight after having a baby. He hasn’t initiated sex in years and wouldn’t look sideways at me if I was changing my clothes. We’ve been married for 7 years and don’t have children. At this point I’m devastated. We’ve been separated for 6 months and he wants me back. Part of me misses him and wants to go back but I also don’t want a physical relationship with him after those hurtful words. Any advice? I can’t keep going on like this.

Also should mention that I’m 5’7” and size 6. He’s now trying to convince me that he doesn’t care about weight but I’m hesitant to believe him. Please help...

It is very disturbing to read your post.

5ft 7 and size 6? It sounds like he wants you with an eating disorder or so thin you disappear.

He is abusive and you should stay away from this man.

Oops just saw you mean a US size 6.

Anyway, it doesn't matter what size you are. What he said is not acceptable even if you were obese.

My work also involves helping abused woman in the mental health profession. I recently got out of an abusive relationship I spent 18 months in. I felt so ashamed because I knew about abuse but chose to turn a blind eye to disrespect in my own relationship because I loved him and the good times we had were so good. And I saw evidence he was changing. But it didn't last.

Please don't feel bad or ashamed - this is his shame to bear, not yours.

You are so on the right track OP. Never look back

Please please keep away from this guy. It’s not an understatement to say he will ruin your life.

This guy wants to control you and knows how to get to you
He probably wants to do it becasue of his own issues
If you go back to him you will regret it...not this week, maybe not this month or this year but you will and you will rue the time you lost when you could have been with someone who loved and supported you