Hello - sorry about hte radio silence.
well the confrontatin has happened. I held it together as long as I coudl. Then...on teh Tuesday - with BIL in situ - I looked at teh emails again . And this time she was quoting farking song lyrics at him!
That ws it I'm afrid. Next tiem Dh asked me what ws wrong I came back with - 'right I need to knwo what is goign on and DON'T take me for a mug!'
He didn't tell me much to begin wiht - kept asking me what I was getting at..but I jsut kept to the I'm not a fool - just TELL me line. He asid that two weeks agao she had declard how much she felt fro him. He told her it ws inapproapraite - of course he ws flatterd. He thought they had put a lid on it and found a way to work together. !
Meanwhile poor BIL is manfully flicking throughthe Sky channels and turing thvolume up bless him!
At this stage I still didnd't tell him abut the emails....I pretended it ws my intuition that I knew soemthing extra had happened the day before. He said yes - she ahd had another outburst with him an d he had told her he wasn't intersted. In all fairness - this does fit the genreal tone of the emails - she was always much more OTT and kissy than he.
Once I had established that his story was consisitemnt with what i had seen I told him that I looked at his emails. That was difficult. He was fine. He said he would have doen the same.
I told him I have copies of them and that may be soemthing he woudl liek to tell the slag. I told him I also have her husband's phone numbers. I swore and shouted at him. I took the piss out of evry line I could rememebr from their farking emails.
SInce then I have been onthe roller coaster ride taht yo have all been talking about. I do belive him. Every now and then I have to ask more questions - like if it ws over why did you feel the need to continue emailing all over last weekend? How the hell are you goign to work together? Yesterday he went in to work - but I ranghim inthe mornign in a state and he came straight home to me. I ahd to go into work later which was really hard.
A lot of this is bound up with other emotiional issues - this is not me making a n excuse , and we have started to talk about these at length. He was trying to sort it out without upsettng me.
I'm not sure how I feel at the moment - I think I am still in shock. I am still angry and it's hard to taek that leap of faith to believe the other person. I still want to contact her and tell her what a cow she is to go near soemone els's husband and how close she has come ot ruining two families lives.
But I do feel it will be OK.
Is it appropriate to expect great gifts of jewellery form him now?
(sorry - not funny)