Why does he do this?

[Sausageroll123]

Been with partner for 2 years. Kids involved (not jointly). We live separately.

Anyway. If we ever have an argument it always ends up with me being treated the silent treatment until I have basically harassed him in to talking to me again.

Currently happening right now. I saw he'd liked a photo of a semi naked girl on social media and said it upset me slightly. He turned round and said this isn't working, and has now ignored me all day.

Whenever I bring up something I'm unhappy about that he's done, I get the same 'this isn't working', and then however many days of silence until I can get him out of it.

I just don't understand why he does it?

His reply is awful, please find your anger OP. He's basically sent you the definition of selfish.

He's an arse. It sounds like he doesn't even like you.
Report him to Sky for using your account without permission, block his number and separate yourself from him ASAP.

He's not worth this headspace.

Well, he's not going to break up with you face to face, is he - this charmer is a master of the silent treatment, remember!

He's told you how it is, he'll never change. Try to enjoy today's event for your daughter's sake and walk away with your head held high.

Oh, and speak to Sky again as a PP said - he's using it without your permission. Insist on a solution from them (you're paying them remember) and escalate this as far up the chain as you can. Instigate the complaints procedure.

I'm guessing by the total silence we're over anyway

YOU should have made that desicion a while back. 28 pages of posters all telling you he's basically a cocklodger and you deserve better, yet you don't seem to think so.

As an aside if your changing passwords and he's still using it

Then you've a security issue either with key logging or he knows all your log ins for stuff

*Decision!

Yes I wonder why he can still access Sky. Have you a few passwords you always use that he might have guessed?
Please check.

If he wants to be able to do what he wants without having to think how it affects somebody else and thinks that is ok - then he is not yet able to have a relationship! Because when you're in a relationship, you do need to think about the other person and what matters to them, that is what it means! You do that. But he doesn't. And he doesn't even think he should have to!

He is not grown up enough to be having a relationship with a woman who has children if he thinks this is acceptable. How dare he treat you and your children with such contempt, lack of respect and rudeness!

And this - looked at my daughters phone last night to make sure she hadn't text him again. She had just once more - calling him 'bloody rude'. I assume that's in response to him not replying to her. I guess that's her trying to stick up for me in her own little way

Your daughter is 100% correct. He is bloody rude. I hope you are proud of your daughter's attitude. "in her own little way" suggests you don't take her thoughts about it seriously, you actually think you are right to be spending wasting so much of your valuable life trying to figure this man out. And she is right to tell him he is rude for not bothering to respond to her. You could learn a lot from your daughter.

I'm sorry he's made you so sad. I do hope your sadness turns to anger soon. Because I want you to actually believe that you and your dcs are worth more than this.

I'd be sending him a final message telling him that if he wants to be able to have a decent relationship with anyone he needs to grow the fuck up and learn how to treat people. But that you won't tolerate him and his immaturity and lack of ability anymore, you are done.

You're feeling sad anyway...so why not at least feel you have some strength and power back?

He certainly isn't going to make you feel better. You need to do that by deciding that your standards are higher than this and you simply won't put up with being treated this way.

Only be with someone who thinks they are damn lucky to have you!

Still cheering you on sausage.
He might not have said "it's over" in order to keep you dangling, wondering how to get him back (obey him and take responsibility for his child!)
You cannot accept those terms, so it's over.
Block him. Book time with friends. Grit your teeth.
You miss the bloke you thought he was, but he isn't. He deceived you and there's no shame in that. But you know now and need to protect yourself and your DDs and role model how to put yourself first

If he wants to be able to do what he wants without having to think how it affects somebody else and thinks that is ok - then he is not yet able to have a relationship! )

OP, rephrase this to "Anyone who wants to be able to do what he wants without having to think how it affects somebody else, and reckons that is ok, is not yet mature enough to have a relationship." Sent it to him, then block. Oh and also contact Sky saying wtf.

YOU should have made that desicion a while back. 28 pages of posters all telling you he's basically a cocklodger and you deserve better, yet you don't seem to think so.

This with bloody BELLS on..

OP I think you need to step back and stop chasing him. He's made it clear he doesn't give a stuff about you. Please respect yourself. This is it he is not going to change. Letting go can be hard but he's only going to continue hurting you. He's one sick fuck and is loving watching you degrade yourself.

If he WANTS to be with you he will change his behavior but he isn't changing he is trying to change you...

He isn't the one for you, you deserve MUCH better!

You need to go NC.

Been there, done that. Not much fun.

Show your daughter the way a woman should not put up with being treated badly. (Ie. Don't chase him and get back with him as soon as he clicks his fingers).

Dig deep and find your inner strength. If you can't find it DIG DEEPER!

It's really hard to resist the urge to text people. This is where forums such as this are ideal - next time the urge strikes, which it will, come on here and we will talk you out of it. You can do this, believe me. In the meantime think about deleting his details from your phone (although you may wish to keep a note in case there are ongoing issues to resolve, the holiday for example).

I would send something tbh:

After 2 years together I hoped you would have the decency and maturity to be able to discuss things.
Your actions have shown me exactly how someone should NOT act within a relationship.
I notice you have been using my sky sports package, as we are no longer together I do not give you permission to continue doing this.
Please advise whether you wish to buy me out of the holiday or vice versa.

Then ring sky and get them to sort it.

You are sad, of course you are..and you need some time to lick your wounds. Keep busy. Meet friends. Do stuff with the kids. Paint the fence. Dig the garden. Whatever.

You are well rid of this fucking twat. He is not the person you thought he was.

One day you will look back on this and be SO glad that he showed his true colours and that you got out when you did!

Hes keeping you dangling. He won't actually say the words "we are over" cuz then it game over and he will lose power over you. And that bollox about not making effort with his kid is just a bullshit throw away comment cuz he had nothing concrete to call you out over. OP your self esteem must be rock bottom if your putting up with this crap. Please stay strong today and for the love of god take peps advice and ring up SKY!!!

It's over

Or

It's not over but you accept everything he does. I understand that you are finding it hard to let go but you just have to face facts.

Your relationship with him is over and you only ever had a relationship when you didn't question anything he does.

He is telling you he wants to be single or at least be in a relationship but carry on as single.

Look @Sausageroll123 the sooner you realise this is shit the better. You can look back on it with disbelief that somebody could be so cold and you let them treat you like shit. You can have a good laugh about how ridiculous you were to chase a man like this and reflect on why it happened and not letting it happen again.

It's hard to understand how somebody can be such a way as you / most people are decent. He's not. Maybe he's just not that into you and he has no problem treating you like dirt because you've allowed it. You've been a doormat and you need to realise that and stop repeating the same cycle and expecting different results.

Get angry and stand up for yourself more and say 'I am not going to be treated like this'

Please just face facts and start the moving on process. Throw yourself into hobbies, funny movies, spending time with your daughter.

Because he gave you the silent treatment and you begged him back. He lost respect for you a long time ago and sadly you lost respect for yourself.

Teach your daughter to have more respect for herself. As your daughter gets older and understands more she too will lose all respect for you because of the way you let men treat you. She will either follow suit because she has seen her do it or her friends one day will ask her why she takes no shit from men and she will say because I didn't want t end up like my mum.

Aside from all the shitty behaviour and things he's said, I guess what I'm struggling with is the way it's happening. If I didn't want to be with someone anymore, I'd properly end things (and not by text), swap any belongings over at the same time (he has a house key of mine for example), remove relationship status from social media, then delete and block. Done. I find it hard to understand someone that just ignores. Like someone just said, he's keeping me dangling, and for what reason? Makes me wonder if all the I love you's (up until a few days ago) were just utter crap

Sausage he does all this because he’s an arsehole that doesn’t understand how to be decent, it’s very simple if you finally see it like it is. No one with any integrity would treat someone like this.
So send a text and take control
‘You have no decency by treating me this way but thank you for showing me who you really are as I now know I deserve a lot better than you. Let me know how you will sort out the holiday I paid for’.

He won't finish things decently as he's not decent. He does what's easiest for him.
If you won't be controlled by him he's not interested. Not even interested enough to end it properly.

He won't finish things decently as he's not decent. He does what's easiest for him.
If you won't be controlled by him he's not interested. Not even interested enough to end it properly.

@Sausageroll123
You've just given yourself the answer, in your last post. Do all those things, change your status, change your lock. Delete his number from your phone. Get on the phone to Sky and explain the situation, maybe ask them to shutdown your account and then create a new one.
He's not going to do anything else.
Get your daughter's do to take her to the event.
Nobody else can do this for you, it's up to you now. You'll be in emotional pain for a while but you'll never have to worry about him doing this again.
I wish you all the best and I really hope that you find the courage to act now. Shut the door on him.

Daughter's df not do to take her to the event