Why does he do this?

[Sausageroll123]

Been with partner for 2 years. Kids involved (not jointly). We live separately.

Anyway. If we ever have an argument it always ends up with me being treated the silent treatment until I have basically harassed him in to talking to me again.

Currently happening right now. I saw he'd liked a photo of a semi naked girl on social media and said it upset me slightly. He turned round and said this isn't working, and has now ignored me all day.

Whenever I bring up something I'm unhappy about that he's done, I get the same 'this isn't working', and then however many days of silence until I can get him out of it.

I just don't understand why he does it?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonewalling

The more you post the worse he sounds.

Please change all your passwords, he’s still sponging off you

What a horrible bastard.

Cheeky bloody fucker! Ring sky and explain, there must be something. Ffs, he won’t speak to you but uses your sky sports, he’s an utter shit!

@Moralitym1n1
Thank you.
I'm an older woman now and by God I've had more than my fair share of abusive relationships. I was brought up by a very narcissistic female parent. So I have a very fine tuned antenna when it comes to abusive relationships. I hope so much that sausage will read and digest all these comments. And will also realise the she is worth so much more.
If we women don't put a value on ourselves. Why will anyone else value us?

@Absolutepowercorrupts I'm in ny 60s, and was a single mum 30 odd years ago. I had a cocklodger - but no MN then! it was my mother who pointed it out to me. I didn't want to believe it. I felt very much how Sausage feels now, I expect. The cold hard facts are there, but hard to face.

@QueenOfTheOldCroneAge
Snap! I was also a single parent and my son is 41 now so maybe a bit longer ago than you. I'm in my early sixties now.
My female parent didn't point out anything to me because she was of the opinion that any man was better than no man.
I suffered from that affliction for a while but I was always an outspoken female who didn't suffer fools gladly, and took no shit from anyone, so I just got rid of them, dumped them and carried on with my life as i saw fit.
With a narc mother you learn very early on that you can't trust anyone, when even the person who gave birth to you is not to be trusted. Story of my life, but that would take a zillion threads.
Sausage roll 123. I hope you're still reading and absorbing all this information

@Absolutepowercorrupts I'm still reading! Am struggling a bit tonight. This thread has been a God send this week, I just can't quite digest what everyone is saying. Never expected so many people to be saying the same thing x

@Antigon I'm in a special sky Sports deal which I can't get out for about another 8 months

Can you change the password though?

We’ve not even worked out how to have bt sport on our 2 different TVs! Not sure how he’s watching it at his house, must be on the app so change your passwords on the app. Even if you are still paying but he can’t access it, that’s major satisfaction!

So change your password and stop him from watching it

Get your 13 year old to work out how to change it!!

Sausage please read Absolutepowercorrupts long post again and again. It's excellent and sums up all we are trying to make you see for yourself.

@Sausageroll123
There must have been a reason why you started this thread about your moody boyfriend. Every update you've given has confirmed that he's really not that bothered about your relationship. Against all advice given here you've not dumped him. You'll see him at this event on Saturday. You've said you can't change your attendance on Saturday because it will upset your daughter. Children have to learn in
life that sometimes life is shit and crap stuff happens. In the words of the Dragons I'm out.
Sausageroll123 I wish you the best for your future life but I'm done.

OP well done for not contacting him and good luck at this weekend's event. If he goes low, go high. Find an age appropriate ways to explain to your youngest to minimise her confusion/hurt. Denial of love/contact in a relationship is abuse, so stay firm. You deserve better.

Change your Sky password

Never have so many people willed a stranger to change their Sky password at the same time! 😂

OP, what about asking Sky if you can swap the Sky Sports pack for Sky Cinema pack or Ultinate On Demand? The Ultimate On Demand pack includes Netflix and Sky box sets so you may enjoy it more if you’re not a sports fan? Worth a try.

You could then stop paying your own Netflix sub so that will be a tenner saved.

You must be able to change the sky password as well, don't let him continue to use you.

Stay strong

Never have so many people willed a stranger to change their Sky password at the same time!

The Power of Mumsnet.

It is the height of rudeness to avail yourself of someone's kindness while blanking them. What an arsehole.

I do really sympathise- in your head is the small secret thought that on Saturday he will see you and will make it 'right' by being the first one to talk, you think you can then justify forgiving and forgetting all about it because he 'broke' this time and not you.

He may do this as he has it very cushy with you doesn't he, and he's not the fool.
Unfortunately, even if you think you have 'won' this time, you really haven't, he is not the prize worth having or that you deserve.

WantedAChatterbox I think this too. This is why OP hasn't posted that she's dumped the using cocklodger. She's imagining a lovey dovey reconciliation on Saturday. He's imagining her fawning all over him and begging his return. Status quo with freebies resumed. We can only hope that she has taken something from this thread, and her DC don't have to continue seeing their mother being humiliated over and over again.

I'm guessing you're not changing the Sky password because that small connection allows you to 'show' to him you haven't let him go.
Maybe you're hanging on to that one thing now, plus your Saturday event.

The Sky sports thing allows you to show him ' look, I do all these nice things for you, I am worth it'

It would be great if you could cut that cord op, as hard as that may seem.

Do it today, before you see him.

I changed the password but it wasn't working - I could see last night every time I kicked him off he was going back on. After lots of Googling I've managed to sort it so if he tries to watch it later it won't work anymore x

I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow in any way - this anxiety I'm feeling about seeing him is going to completely ruin my daughters day if I'm not careful. There is no one free to go with me, so it'll just be me and the kids