Why does he do this?

[Sausageroll123]

Been with partner for 2 years. Kids involved (not jointly). We live separately.

Anyway. If we ever have an argument it always ends up with me being treated the silent treatment until I have basically harassed him in to talking to me again.

Currently happening right now. I saw he'd liked a photo of a semi naked girl on social media and said it upset me slightly. He turned round and said this isn't working, and has now ignored me all day.

Whenever I bring up something I'm unhappy about that he's done, I get the same 'this isn't working', and then however many days of silence until I can get him out of it.

I just don't understand why he does it?

*Were your kids

@Antigon The holiday was booked by him, I just gave him the money for my half. Flights and hotel booked direct so it wasn’t through a company. The kids weren’t going on that one. All non refundable. I just can’t believe he would happily let me lose all that money

Well, he needs to pay you back and take his mum then, doesn't he?

That's because you're kind and giving, and he isn't.

When u say snacks.all evening what does that mean? A penguin and a cuppa? Or beers crisps a platter of cold.meats?? OP he is taking you for a ride. What do you see in him?

I think the thing that really struck me sausage was that when you try to talk about him upsetting you he always says he can't be dealing with 'this shit'.

He literally is telling you he thinks your feelings and opinions are shit. I'm with the pp who have made the point that you might love him, or who he is when he is being nice, but he is very clearly telling you he doesn't love you.

You sound awesome. I'm sure I'd want to be your friend if we met in real life. I wish you'd believe you're better than this sponging douche bag and cut the cord once and for all.

If he grudgingly comes back in a day or two you know this whole charade will repeat in 2/3/4 months and you'll just feel annoyed you let him back in to do it again. Take the power back and block him or tell him to fuck off.

If he does love you he will contact you, beg for you back, and you can discuss his behaviour and how it needs to change then, before giving him one last chance. But in guessing he won't do this, he'll make a half hearted attempt to get into your knickers / onto your sofa and then he'll become abusive when you try and discuss the changes you need from him

Good luck whatever you do

Do you have tickets? Or seen any documentation? Do you think he might scam you and move on hence the ghosting? Sorry if that's true💐

He'll happily let you lose all that money because he doesn't really care about you. I imagine if it was 'him' losing it, he'd be beyond fuming.

Maybe by the time the holiday comes round, you'll be feeling stronger and not give a hoot about him and you can go and tell him to 'sod off' and YOU go one the holiday

@Booboooo Platter of cold meats! Thank you, that made me chuckle. I guess by snacks all evening I mean cups of tea, a sandwich, crisps, chocolate bar, fruit, yoghurt?

@onanotherday Yes, I've seen the flight and hotel confirmations, so it's genuine

@Hermano Thank you
Yes he has used that phrase quite a lot unfortunately, and it's always if I've said something about his behaviour etc. I don't know any relationship that never has disagreements so I don't know why he think we'd be any different.

He's been costing you a bloody fortune! add all that up over 2 years, not forgetting the TV stuff!

He is living the life of riley between you and his mum! Does he ever put his hand in his pocket?

@Booboooo He'll pay for dinner maybe half the time? Doesn't buy me gifts/treats unless it's my birthday/Christmas

Awwwh if he cant spring for a asda bunch of flowers or the occassional bottle of fizz then hes a self serving arse hole!!!

Is that dinner out? So you pay for that half the time too?

@QueenOfTheCroneAge I was talking about dinner out. He won't provide the food / pay for any of the dinners he has at my house

Sausage I think you'll have him back, eventually. If you do, please tell him no more sport TV unless he pays. No more free meals. He gets the ingredients if you cook for him. That's on top of no more sulking and silent treatments, no public slavering over women on the internet - in general to treat you as he should have been doing all along, as a valued girlfriend - not a second mum, catering to his wants.

Can you buy him out of the holiday?

Seriously OP, if not don’t worry. I spent £400 on my abusive exBF’s birthday just before I walked away. I spent that knowing it might not work out but I walked away with dignity and as far as I’m concerned it was nothing compared to what I stood to lose emotionally, mentally and more financially if I had stayed. In fact it was a bargain!!

So he could change the flight name into someone else's name?

I think you should ask for the holiday money back or ask for it to be cancelled so that you can get a refund minus the cancellation fee. If he refuses, I would take him to small claims court. It's not right that he is benefitting from £2.5k from you.

I couldn't afford to buy him out, I don't think he'd agree even if I could
The flights and hotel were non refundable so even if he did cancel then we'd get no navy back
Yes he could change the name on my ticket if he wanted

*no money

Can I ask, how much was your half of the holiday? I'm curious as to why he's taken the money from you when you've freely paid for Sky Sports etc for him, provide meals and snacks for him, usually pay half when you go out...... and provide a bed for him!

He's awful, and I'm surprised you're not angrier about how he has milked you for food and TV streaming, etc. Reading this thread I'm furious on your behalf.

Hope you leave him to his childish sulking.