have accidentally caught out dp lying about where he is.....what to do now

[FrenchFanciesYesPlease]

dp and I live in town A (not together). His ex lives with their dcs in town B which is 2 hours away by car. We have what I would have described as a very easy going, happy relationship. Or so I thought!

a week or so ago, accidentally, dp sent me a message for his ex confirming he was picking up the dcs and taking them out on the evening of day1 (he usually stays there as he has a room at their house). We already had plans to meet on day 2 and he was staying at mine and spending day 3 together.

a few days later, he sends me a message saying he is seeing dc on the evening of day 2 and 3 and can we rearrange. I said fine (and thought him and ex must have just rearranged day 1) and he said why don't we do lunch on day 2 before he goes to town B for the evening.

coincidentally for work, I happen to be driving through town B on day 1. I stop at a petrol station and am filling up when lo and behold, I spot dp's car driving by. He has no reason to be in town B at all. I was going to call him then I thought let me just drive past his ex's house and see and lo and behold, his car is there.

day 2 he was going to meet me for lunch (as arranged) and I was going to be coming back from somewhere up north and arriving at Euston. I predict, in my head, that he will now come up with an excuse as he normally spends the whole day with his dcs when he goes down the night before. Lo and behold, morning of day 2, he says sorry he can't make it as he's ill and says I'm really sad because I wanted to surprise you at Euston (he knew what train I was coming in on). I didn't say anything and he then sends me a picture of an online booked train ticket from his train station to Euston which would have arrived 45 mins after my train arrived

I am not going to confront him till we see each other person but why on earth would you lie like this? I know there is nothing between him and ex but if this was innocent, you wouldn't lie like this would you? I suspect he is covering for whatever he did on the night of day 2 :( (as he would have come back from ex/dcs on day2). Should I just confront him with this or just tell him I think something is going on?

Oh dear god OP. You are awesome.

Stay focused on how he is a liar How a healthy person would not want to do what he has done - with all the practiced lying that goes along with it . Hold onto that when he tries to persuade you otherwise.

Sending you all my love xxxx

OP, I really feel for you. I don't believe you will ever get the answers you need. He is probably a compulsive liar.

I think he deliberately sent you the text that was supposedly meant for his ex. He then told you it had been sent to you in error prior to telling you he was going on day 2 to lead you to believe it had been re-arranged.

I'd be interested to know how often you saw him.

I would not confront him and afford him the opportunity of telling more lies. I would probably pack up his stuff in bin liners and put it outside the door ready for him to collect. I would then contact him tonight or over the weekend (before he gets in touch again asking you further what is wrong).

If I were you I would just say that you don't want to see him any more, you've come to the conclusion that you aren't sexually compatible and that you can no longer cope with the lack of sexual fulfillment.

I know it's childish but hit him where it hurts. Make him question himself like he's made you question your relationship. My pet hate is anyone lying!

Op if he comes round and you talk he's just going to gaslight you and get angry and try to make you feel shit. I wouldn't get into a situation where he has the opportunity to respond, he shouldn't get a platform. I would end it via text, alluding to me either knowing he's a liar or just have lost interest (which will fuck with his head), and leave his stuff packed up.

Just saw @Gigglinghysterically's post. We're on the same page 👍🏼

OP, the lying does rather suggest to me he's seeing someone else, so you may want to consider an STI test to be sure you're clear.

Have you told him you know yet OP?

How could naming the days of the week be 'outing'?

When does this man actually work?

I would love to know how often you saw him because you could actually be the OW? Staying at his ex's house overnight and being there during the day when they are at school.. okay then!

are you okay OP

any further news?

How did yesterday go?

Get yourself checked out for STI's, OP. I know that sounds awful but I wouldn't leave it to chance that he's kept it zipped or covered. I'd also consider letting his childrens mother know the situation, just in case she thinks she's not his ex, but his current. She deserves a chance too.

Take care of yourself, this is a tough situation.

I’m reckoning he lied his way out of it 🙈.

Still curious though!

Urgh. I hope she's ok and given him the heave ho. Absence though makes me wonder....

Very curious how this played out.