Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

Not much to add here, I'm still chugging along with Mr Far. Still going on dates and we've been to each others houses now. All steady but some orange flags for long term potential that I'm ignoring for now as irrelevant whilst just dating...
I'm still on the fence a bit, he's firmly smitten.

lifegoes I would be inclined to chat or meet with him and find out more about his situation. its so rare to find someone you like it's good to get to know them while looking for red flags.

@StealthNinjaMum this is true, he has asked to meet. So we'll see

@Lovemusic33 that kind of talk would really put me off. Maybe I am a prude but I don't like a man telling me how to groom myself and anal is a no go area for me!

lifegoes it sounds like you now have good instincts so if you did meet up with him hopefully you'd be able to work him out.

Lily I don’t mind talking to guys about what they like but I expect them to respect that I might not like what they like, to keep on dropping hints about anal after I have said ‘it’s not something I enjoy’ is just cuntish. I would never tell a man how to groom himself down there, it’s not something that really bothers me.

Everyone on here has helped me with that @StealthNinjaMum in March I was sat with no clue, couldn't understand why these awful relationships kept happening to me.

I'm not saying I'm fixed far from it, but you lot have def helped me understand what we should and shouldn't tolerate.

So lots of kissing, which was nice and he was lovely. He clearly wanted me to kiss my last train though, or to come with me but I've never even snogged on a first date before tonight, let alone dtd so that was a no-no.
I've told him he can see me again though...

*miss my last train!

I have been quiet for a while. I did keep on over analysing why Mr Coward just ghosted me but I know deep down that’s his problem not mine so time to brush it off and get back on the app

No, I just said I wouldn't be taking him home tonight but he can see me again 😄

Lovemusic he sounds like a right charmer!!

Sunshine no nothing more from MissOz. We exchanged a few WA the same day I saw her last, but she said she wasn't the type to chase if I'd made my mind up.
Glad to hear your date went well

Sunshine - I like your style - I've told him he can see me again though...
Love - Good riddance to MrDog.
AtSea - You are totally right there. The best way to get over a man is to get on top of another.

Well, MrWow is currently tucked up in my bed. Had a lovely relaxing day. Wasn't our plan to see each other but he invited me out for lunch, I already had plans to do a BBQ at my Mum's, so invited him.

So, I currently have 6 fags left that I need to smoke so they are not there in the morning! Am giving up! MrWow will zonk out any minute as still has lingering man flu. We've already had sex so no need for me to hurry upstairs, lol.

I’ve finally caught up, I think. I’ve been staying at MrSG’s for the last 10 days and haven’t been on MN at all.

Sorry to hear about your dog @Lovemusic33. It’s a hard thing to deal with. I agree with everyone about Mr Dog; it really does sound like you’re well rid.

I’m jealous of all the holidaying that’s going on this thread too. I’d like to be going on holiday too (but have to wait til the school summer holidays for that). I’m not in one of those parts of the country that had nice weather this weekend, so I didn’t get to spend much time outside.

lifegoes you are NOT his fallback option.

@LooUpdate I know. I guess everyone has an ex tho, but I'm a bit hummmmm with this one.

So true...

Morning all.

Had a good childfree weekend. Date Friday with MrTatts didn't happen as he'll be moving away for work so I thought why bother. Saturday I met MrIT - a longstanding iron who I hadn't met up with previously and was giving a second chance - was nice evening, chatted well, snog at end but came away not particularly bothered if I see him again. Think this one fell into trap of talking too long so I had higher expectations 🤷‍♀️

Matched with someone yesterday afternoon and he messaged asking me out straight away as he was driving close on his way home so I thought why not. Well I'm glad I did. He was gorgeous and made me laugh so much - a real character. Fantastic snog after but I dont think I'll see again but a great afternoon and glad I was spontaneous and said yes.

Am chatting to two irons that have potential....

It’s good to see some of you had a nice weekend, which is probably made better by payday!

DLP was good, we got the train this time which was so much easier than driving, it worked out similar to car rental and petrol costs as well. My first time being able to use my british passport too.

FWB got a bit pissed off as he hadn’t realised people had been protesting about the whole thing so he had some choice words when he performed, which unusually for him were fairly PG!

I’m really really tired, I had an awful hangover yesterday and a really backside. That never happened after a night out in my 20’s, nevermind a few drinks and a night in!

Seeing MrNoName for lunch tomorrow, we were going to meet today but I’ll be crap company as I’m tired.

Afternoon all - nice to see that there are new irons in the fire and some flakey ones have been kicked into touch.

Hmmmm - update on my weekend with Mr Cornish. Still smitten, but we've "had words" (well I had the words and he had the good sense to look sheepish and apologise...) Lovely night on Saturday - he watched the football, I fell asleep on the sofa - both happy. Yesterday I came down with cystitis - fucking ouch - pissing razor blades. He cooked a roast, I spent the day in my dressing gown guzzling water until I felt like I was drowning and sitting on the loo trying to piss out 5ml of wee at a time. I decided not to drink at all because I was feeling so rough - he downed 2.5 bottles of red on his own over the course of about 7 hours. I didn't say anything - he wasn't visibly pissed, perhaps a little fuzzy around the edges, but and we went to bed at 10pm as I had work today (he's off). This is where the pissed offness starts. He went to let the dogs out, I went to bed. 30 minutes later, he flopped on the bed, managed to get his shirt off, jeans still on and fell asleep on top of me, I'm under the duvet, he's on top of it and I'm pinned - I'm 5'6 and 10 stone - he's 6'4 and 15 stone and I just couldn't wake him or get him to shift. Eventually I landed an elbow which persuaded him to get over to his own side, but he kept creeping back over, so I had the shittest night's sleep with a fucking deadweight crushing me, at 2am he decided to crash about the bedroom taking his jeans off and go to the loo and flush the toilet (why????!), I still have cystitis and I'm working. He woke up with not even a headache and announced he would spend the day at the beach as the weather was so lovely. I lost it dear reader and told him if he did that again, one of us would be sleeping in the spare room. He's offered a trip to IKEA as an apology.

JeSuis you post just reminds me why I like being single 🤣 if I don’t get a good nights sleep I am grumpy as hell. I’m still recovering from sat night when Mr Dog kept me awake being a total dick. Sleep is important to me. Hope your cystitis clears up soon, I get it a lot often caused by too much sex .

I think I’m going to go in a date with Mr Banter at the weekend, he’s being really sweet considering he knows I chose Mr Dog over him a few weeks ago. He said we can just meet up and go for a walk as friends and see how it goes.

Also have another iron who I must have matched with on Tinder a while ago, I shall call him Mr Photographer, he seems a bit spiritual and we share a few hobbies and interests.

I don’t plan on talking to anyone else for a while as I’m not in the right head space. Still feeling sad about the dog and swaying between getting another one or remaining dogless. My mind keeps telling me I need a dog and not a man.

Another 7k run done at lunchtime. First time in ages I feel really motivated to get my body back in shape. The motivation of my ex is a main reason, but in a few weeks that won't matter.

I just feel I need to do this, before I invest in a man again. So at least if it goes wrong I won't think I wasn't pretty or skinny enough for a man.

JeSuis crikey that sounds like quite a night! I am useless at sharing a bed as I sleep quite lightly and I can't get to sleep if my partner snores. I also get a bit nervous and twitchy about sharing a bed with someone new so I can't get to sleep. I always end up in a bad mood the next morning.

I think I will just be honest with whoever I end up getting close to in the future and tell them that I am a very poor co-sleeper. I am chatting to the guy that I met on Friday - let's call him MrK - and here was definite chemistry between us so hopefully we will get to the bed sharing stage at some point. I am not looking on the apps as I really can't be bothered at the moment, so if it doesn't work out with him I will probably take a break. I am thinking of joining a new gym to try reinvigorate my interest in keeping fit.

In other news I went to see a physio this morning and he confirmed that I have a grade 2 tear in some of the tendons in my foot. He has given me a series of exercises and stretches to do and is confident he can get me back running (gently) within a month. He is doing ultrasound and massage treatment on my foot and I have booked a course of six treatments with him. He also gave me some very good advice about running shoes and he seems to know what he is talking about.