Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

Eight miles!

love meant to say earlier so sorry to hear about your dog :( and I was outraged by MrDog's behaviour towards you. You're well out of it.

life super sexual compatibility is so important to me too. I had one iron last year who was totally fabulous but really awful in bed. I gave him a few chances but it never came right. I went away for a weekend to the city he lived in a few months ago and arranged to meet up with him. It was so nice to see him, we were so compatible in every way but I just couldn't get over that hurdle! It's a right pain but I know it's just not worth it if that doesn't work out!

Bloody hell love you're well shot of him. I won't tolerate heavy drinkers - he sounds self centred and downright nasty (and a bit like my alcoholic ex). You made the right decision.

💐 to all those who are having a shit time with OLD - take a break, but remember you're only looking for ONE person. I don't believe there's a magic formula or way of acting on dates, or when you do the deed.

He’s just messaged me asking if my day has improved 🤨 I mean WTF? I’m just ignoring it. I think he has a lot of issues, I can see why he has never married or had kids.

Block him love your are well rid. Close that door so another one can open. Okay that was a bit smarmy but I hope you got the idea

@shitwithsugaron thank you for letting me join in. This week I'm going to up the amount I move during the day and make all my lunches and dinners. You'd get so fit with boxing but appreciate if it's not your kind of sport. I would never watch a match but the exercise itself is great.

He was also telling me how I should change things about myself and do things that I don’t like doing

Wow, how many dates did you have with the prize prick?

Send him a message back saying "it has now, bye" then Block him @Lovemusic33

@Ginmel Boxercise is a great way of getting fit. I remember doing it for 3 months my whole body had never looked better. Might actually back, now you have mentioned it

@shitwithsugaron @Ginmel there are some great topics on getting fit / diets etc on MN.

Toilet update! (Well, he's at the bar)
Glad I came. He's a really nice guy...just...living "temporarily" with his parents and has no car at the minute.
Red flags ahoy but he's lovely. Quite shy but definitely not a player. Aaaggghhh!

@Sunshineandflipflops I wouldn't say they where red flags as such. Just more he's not what you want In a man.

Any reason for living with parents and no car?! Is it a divorce?

@lifegoes No, never married, no kids. He was renting and his landlord sold up with no notice and he lives in walking distance of where he works so hasn't needs a car but is on the look out apparently.

I will always remember my sparkiest date ever,about four years ago.I was parked up waiting and he drove by and flashed me this amazing smile. He was wearing a beanie. Our pub date was very flirty and then we both went out for a ciggie and he said do you kiss on first dates? I replied I do now 😄
We dated for a few months and were very tactile with each other,PDA was not an issue with him!
But he wouldn't label me his gf!! It took about 11 dates for me to have sex with him and I thought that would change his mind...it didn't lol.
Very close friends now. He has a fwb,though I reckon she calls him her bf, and we do stuff a few times a yr. Like go footy and the other week we went to London and I just feel a fondness now.
So I know that spark exists. Not sure it's a great basis for a relationship as it's just an initial feeling but God it makes you feel fantastic

@Sunshineandflipflops how old is he?

What's your thoughts on him, other than the house and car?

Sunshine,situations change. As long as you're not doing the majority of the travelling I say go and enjoy.he does sound lovely

I did date someone who lived with his parents for a while. I found out he owed thousands through a gambling habit and his parents had bailed him out. He was back home paying them back weekly......not to say this is a common thing but something for people just to keep an eye open for

living "temporarily" with his parents and has no car at the minute.

Roughly how old is he? Does he have a drivers' licence?

Yes, he can drive and is looking to buy a car. He is 3 years younger than me (37)

@Sunshineandflipflops honestly if you like him, it does no harm seeing where it can go. It's obv not a nice situation to be in. And does depend on what you want from a man.

Question for you all, an old iron has resurfaced. Now we did get along, no dates. But we chatted, he was nice enough to message me saying he had decided to get back with his ex and he felt awful but didn't want to string me along or just ghost me. So wanted to be upfront.

Fast forward 2 months and he's found me again on OLD. Told me it didn't work out blah blah and he's chatty again. But and this is my But!!

I don't like feeling I'm a second choice (I know it was an ex (maybe?) so isn't really a second choice) but I'm a bit hummmmmm about him.

I would go for it life. He knew the ex and at the time he didn't know you. You were just someone he chatted to online.so not second best. I would meet him

lifegoes shows what a low baseline I have with guys but at least he didn't ghost you. He seems like an honest guy so I would try to get over the second choice feeling.

@kerkyra and @StealthNinjaMum I'm not sure, my gut is saying hummm

I've asked him a few questions about why it didn't work out and he said she was a lovely girl, but can't give it anything more as she's got issues from a previous relationship. He wasn't saying that in an awful way that's just the gist of it.

Which makes me think he must like her etc.

Oh stealth also I was shocked he didn't ghost me so I do give him respect for that. He didn't owe me anything as we'd never met

LooUpdate we had 4 or 5 dates. Apparently he likes his women shaven or he won’t go down there and he kept on talking about anal.His behaviour was really odd last night, I’m starting to wonder if he had taken drugs, he was talking way too much and kept me awake most of last night laughing at things that I didn’t find funny, just made me feel really uncomfortable.

You dont want to be a rebound life,how long ago did it end with her?

Has he asked to meet you? Sounds tricky

@kerkyra I don't previously. All I know is 2 months ago he got back with her and it didn't work out