Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

So sorry lovemusic

simon have fun!

walk is it possible for you to slow it down a little?

Sorry to hear of your loss love music [hugs]

I've been brutal since going back on apps. Was suppose to have dates with 2 irons this week but I dont think they're actually that interested from their infrequent messages, and I'm tired of going on dates where theres no connection, so I've just unmatched. I'd rather sit in and watch a good movie than meet someone that just wants an evening out for the sake of it.

However, now have a date pencilled in for Friday night with another iron (who I'll call mrtatts) and one on sat with a returning iron (you may recall MrIT). Will see if either/both come off however 😉

Sorry for your loss lovemusic :(

@marlboroandmalbec34 - That's how I've left things. Said I'd give him some space but would quite like to revert back to actual dating rather than just spending time together. However, the radio silence of almost 48hours now, starts my overthinking tendancies... Surely if there was nothing in it, he'd have just said so...?

I hate this part...

@WalkUnafraid - Perhaps he's just overcompensating on the 'backing off' request you put to him ? Can you not drop him a message and suggest a date style activity together ? (Forgive me if you did and that remains unanswered)

@LoveMusic33

Thanks Jesuis, old and bat. You’re right I need to see it a push to something exciting. Just feels daunting. In OLD news I had a message from a professional footballer 17 years younger than me. I didn’t respond but did cheer me up! And I told mr races he had serious competition 😂

Aww they're not all bad, men. Started chatting last night, he asked for a date today, I said I couldn't until I'm back from hols next week. He said that's a shame, and that he had a date this weekend. Open, honest and transparent. I love him. Just my luck that this other woman will nab him from under my nose . Still, I've wished him luck.

@Lovemusic33 I'm sooo sorry to hear about your dog.

Well I'm in a pickle. I'll call him mr horizontal. I've been seeing him for nearly 4 months, we never had the chat really or labelled ourselves and I brought up last week where we were as he is so laid back and I felt it was me doing all the chasing and arranging of dates. Now we never go out just stay at his which I've been fine with but lately hinting I want to go out.
So he sent a very honest text last week saying how he doesn't want a serious relationship and is scared he will never get past that and doesn't want to cause any of us any hurt. He really likes me and does not see us as fb. We both have kids so only see each other once a week/10 days.
So I stayed the night Sunday and the plan was to go out Monday but he woke up with a hangover and felt really ill so we ended up staying at his watching tv (most boring bank holiday!). He's text asking if I fancy meeting for a coffee at the end of the week. I said yes and he's thrown me by venturing out the house so I asked if he was being adventurous or was it an it's me not you kind of coffee. He's read it and no reply. I guess I'll be back on the singles bench soon 😢

@Lovemusic33 awww I'm so sorry to hear this.

@ccgirr my advice for you and anyone keep away from professional footballers. All exactly the same, 3 so far and all serial cheaters my last was from OLD. Great for the ego, awful for the mind and heart.

Just wondering what's everyone's thoughts on deleting your match on OLD once swapped numbers. That and why do you do it?

My Iron has done this and I found it quite strange

Lifegoes I'd just assume they either didn't want you to see when they were online or to stop them being tempted to check when you were

@Neverexpected2 I did think it was odd. But I travelled yesterday so maybe it was that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If it were me, I would think they were losing interest. Sorry

Mr Quads just cancelled tomorrow. Time for me to take a break. Don't think I'm meant to be dating at the moment. Good luck all. Am sure I'll be back again!

I'm sorry Ginmel, that is disappointing.

@Ginmel but why he was still texting me? So why would that indicate losing interest

Thanks cassettes I'm disappointed but not surprised if that makes sense.

@lifegoes I don't know. Maybe he keeps a hot list online? I hope I'm wrong so don't put too much weight on how I'd interpret it

What's a hot list on tinder? @Ginmel I want one 😂😂😂

I just wondered tbh, it is what it is.

Sorry to hear about your date cancelling.

I'm going to wine swipe tonight, it's my fav type of swiping

Sorry your date has been cancelled ginmel

Is he still chatting to you and going ahead with your date lifegoes he can't have lost interest if he is? 🤔

Are you happy with a casual relationship over a long time lily? I can't help getting the feels...

@Notcoolmum I was talking to him yesterday which was after. So who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Keep swiping I say.

@hairyarsedman I've dropped him a message today that I hope was just bright and breezy, letting him know I was thinking of him. I don't want to ask him out again when I've just said I'll give him space so will leave it a few days before I do that.

Does anyone have any opinions about personality types just not being suited? I really like this guy - I'll call him MrGreen - even though we are quite different.

@Notcoolmum I'm not sure 🙈 one minute I am and the next I want more. We are exclusive and not talking to anyone else. I think to myself if we carry on spending time together then things will develop. His wife split from him and I think he is scared of getting hurt again (to some extent I think he still hurts from it). I've never been in this situation, when I'm with a guy it normally just progresses naturally into a ltr. He is most definitely it my normal type, think I may see how we go and make a decision. He text me back and said he just wondered if I fancied a coffee after me asking if he was going to finish with me 🤣🙈 x

Thank you for all your kind messages, it’s been a really hard day. Sometimes being single makes things even harder, I wish I had someone to share this pain with, someone to hug me. Mr Dog has messaged, I told him how upset I am but no offer to come and see me, just sent me a hug via text 😐.

@Lillyrose19 is this the first time you've met in public

Ah lillyrose this is what is splitting my iron and me up. We've been together 5 months but his split from his family is too fresh for him to really move on. I want a relationship not a casual arrangement. We do go out. We have had wonderful dates both near me and near him. But I think once you get to a certain point it's clear if you are both on the same page or not. And sadly for me, we are not 😭

@Lillyrose19 I'm afraid I've recently been through similar. Was seeing a guy for 2 months, getting on really well, lots of positive signs from him and then he drops the bombshell that he is still on the apps and doesn't want me to think of him as "serious relationship material".
I didn't want to share him to had to say goodbye but I really liked him x

@Sunshineandflipflops he's not on apps and has said he's not interested in speaking with anyone else, he's just so laid back it's like I need constant reassurance he likes me.
@Notcoolmum that's my fear, that we are not on the same page and my hope that in time it will develop. With us both having kids it would be hard to have a full on relationship ( but I still would like a little more!)with their commitments out of school and how both sets are still struggling adjusting to new home lives etc. I think I need to either accept this is all I can have for now and enjoy it or make a decision. I think I'm holding on as well because I want someone to like me!
@lifegoes this will be the third time. In his defence he has asked a few times if I was ok staying in and I was because as I saw it if I'm only seeing him once a week or longer I'd prefer to spend quality time in with him than at a cinema or restaurant for a couple of hours. My ex hardly sees his son and doesn't have him overnight so i rely on family to babysit for me. X