Morning chaps, haven't been on the dating thread for quite a while but looking for some input (Some of you may remember me posting a fair bit when I was seeing Mr. Italy). Apologies but this could be quite long!!!
Mr Italy and I became FB but that didn't last as he was so unreliable even then. I was on 5 dating apps and have been chatting to guys here and there. That's all the majority of them do is talk.
I had a date 2 weekends ago, the guy travelled down to meet me on the bus. He was a lovely guy but no spark for me, but we still text as friends. After that date I started speaking to another guy more local. He seemed very nice, complimentary and cheeky to a level that I am myself. We arranged a coffee date for Saturday past but he asked if I wanted to meet him at his on the Thursday beforehand instead as his flatmate was staying over at his girlfriends (important to point out here is that he offered just to meet somewhere for coffee still if I was uncomfortable meeting at his as we hadn't met in the flesh). I agreed to go to his (I made sure friends knew where I was etc and he really doesn't look the type to be a murderer, i think I could probably take him in a fight he's that thin and only a bit taller than me lol).
When I arrived at his he gave me flowers. He complimented me, listened to me, asked questions and made me laugh a lot. We talked for a good few hours. We kissed, thren talked, kissed etc and it got more heated and we ended up DTD. Again, he did not pressure me it felt right, he kept asking if I was okay etc which no-one has ever done. After we sat talking in bed and he made me coffee. It felt like I had known him for years, it was so comfortable. He asked me to message him to let him know I got home safe, and when I got home he had sent me a text saying he had genuinely had a great night and althogh he was nervousd at the sdtart it felt like he had known me for years (in a good way) by the end. I messaged back saying something similar and went to bed happy. BTW he had said during date he wanted a second one.
Next day we messaged quite regularly through the day and early evening. He went for an early night but was still on pof for a good hour after. Now, I know in OLD people aren't putting all their eggs in one basket, but it just adds to my insecurities. Saturday, he was busy at work but we messaged back and forth during the evening. He was asking lots of questions and we were having a good laugh. I ended convo saying to message me on Sunday (yesterday) if he wasn't busy.
Yesterday he messaged mid afternoon saying he would be glad when work finished and he could open a beer as it ewas hectic. I didn't get message til a couple of hours later as I was in the cinema. We started messaging a bit later by which time he said he was half cut. This is where my thoughts change a bit as in the messaging last night he said to me "I wish you were here" and I replied "Awww, I wish I was too". He replied saying "No, I wish you were here" with the horny devil emoji..... so obviously was thinking about one thing in particular. We had a bit more of a conversation that didn't sit right with me and I could see it was going to descend into (what I thought anyway) him talking pish and me potentially getting offended/upset by something said by him when half cut, so I made my excuses and went to bed.
It hasn't been sitting right with me since and I am freaking out. Having only known an abusive marriage for 20 years, am I scrutinising this too much, as I'm now thinking that because I slept with him on the first date, he's pulling back and that I'm only good for one thing?? Am I being too sensitive/paranoid and should I give him some slack? I'm kicking myself as obviously I'm breaking several of the dating thread rules at once as I appear to have got myself emotionally attached....I'm telling myself if he is a good guy I'm tryin to sabotage it and I'm thinking I'm not ready for dating yet, which has had me in floods of tears the whole morning as I just want to find true love with a normal person. I haven't heard from him at all today and as i'm feeling so emotional about it all, I've started deleting my dating apps and telling myself that I'm not cut out for dating. Also playing on my mind is that there has been no effort to arrange a second date - I'm free during daytimes and he has day off tomorrow, but no talk of arranging to meet?? You may say well why don't you arrange it but part of me is telling myself not to let those walls down and that if he wants me he has to chase a little. Thoughts/advice please if you made it this far!!