Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

Ah bumble sorry to hear about your date - def him and not you. Feel free to linger on the thread even if you're not actively OLD.
ant just wanted to echo others and say you did the right thing, good that you did it in person-you can't stay in something you're not comfortable in just because you don't want to upset the other person-I would hate for anyone to be with me it of pity.

Out of pity!

Agree ant you did the right thing, after any break up whether it's you or them it's hard and you'll need a bit of time to lick the wounds after

Well done ant for doing it in person and sorry she was so upset. But she will feel relieved today you did it like you did. Nothing worse than being ghosted and having so many unanswered questions

bumble sorry you are hurt. You definitely need a strong hide for OLD! Hope you have a good break and come back stronger!

Found you again, I couldn’t find the last one so bookmarking to keep me on here xxxx

Welcome cassandra and welcome back lolly

Bramble- I’d stay and lurk as reading others’ posts can really help. It has for me.
Ant- l agree you did the right thing
Cassandra and Lilly- welcome.
So I met a new iron and knew instantly it was a no. Lovely guy, bit younger but loads of issues with an ill father. Felt sorry for him. He said on the date shall we go eat and he’d like to do again but I mailed after and just said no spark. In a bizarre way I feel more confirmed with mr races as I know I liked him a lot more. Have hid on apps again 😂

Treat it as fun @CassandraGemini and it will be. Don't expect to meet Mr Right, just enjoy meeting new people. And working out what's right for you. And rediscovering sex. It's when you start desperately hunting for a BF that it becomes painful and depressing. IMHO that is...

Good luck. I love a first date.

Ive not heard a peep from my Friday date. She texted when she got home to say she had a nice night, nothing since.Is this normal in your view? If she was keen she would phone?

Have you messaged her Ash? Sorry if I'm getting people mixed up, heads all over the place atm, is this the girl who was really busy and you could only see every fortnight?

Cassandra what Peanut said and remember they probably feel exactly the same. You're just meeting somebody new, no expectations, just be yourself, relax and have fun. First dates are exciting, so good luck!

@Ash559 if shes quite traditional in the beginning ash she is probably seeing your level of interest and not putting her cards out there? .saying she had a nice time is a bit of an invitation to you to go back with something, suggest another date? I know not all women are the same but for me I prefer the man to do the asking the first few times

Supercali, she has just told me that she cant meet till around june 8th -(. Thats ages away. I think im going to can this one, i want to see someone more often than that.

Ash if you've only met her once and you got on well then don't can her, you might fancy a date by the time June 8th rolls around 🤣

Doesn't stop you speaking to others in the meantime.

*@Ant330 it must have been tough but you did the right thing. And you are not a c*t!

Bumble it is horrible being stood up - it happened to me a couple of weeks ago. It is him, not you - just tell yourself that you are worth so much more.

So I went on a second date with my only iron last night and it was awful. It started out badly because he was waiting at the wrong exit to the station we had chosen to meet at, and didn't answer my text or phone call when I couldn't find him. I eventually located him at an obscure side entrance to a very large station, and we went off to the restaurant. When we got there he started talking politics and it was clear that he was a Tory Brexiteer and I am most definitely neither of those things. I tried to politely explain that we weren't going to agree on politics and change the subject but he carried on. In his view, the reason we differed was that I have always lived south of Watford and until a few years ago he lived in the Midlands. He insisted that if I had lived elsewhere I would be in favour of Brexit. At this point I just gave up and went very quiet. I then developed extremely painful indigestion, no doubt brought on by the effort I was making to hold my tongue.

After the meal he suggested going on somewhere else, but I said that I wanted to go home. He tried to kiss me goodbye at the station but I moved away and said that I wanted to go to the platform to catch my train.

I am not sure about going back on the apps at the moment as I don't seem to meet anyone that I click with. I don't think I am that difficult to please, but maybe I am. I am going out later on my own to a local comedy festival which should cheer me up.

Oh lily that sounds like an awful date. What a prick!!

Ant thanks, i may keep her on the backburner till then, good advice. Hope youre ok after dumping her.

LilyRose that sounds awful but don't let that one muppet put you off! At least you've got a really crappy first date story to tell others about now

@Ant330 sadly it was the second date as we appeared to get on quite well on the first date. We didn't talk about politics on the first date though. I think I might have a worse first date story as two months ago I fell down a flight of steps on a first date and sprained my ankle badly, and it still hasn't fully healed! If I carry on like this I will be able to write a book about all my awful first dates .

Hope you are feeling a bit better about MsOz now that you have received so much support from posters on this thread. It is rarely easy to end a relationship as there are usually some good things about a person (or you wouldn't have got in the relationship in the first place). Like you I have zero tolerance for racism. My date last night wasn't openly racist but he did make a few comments about 'illegal immigrants' that I found distasteful, hence my indigestion. Funnily enough I felt much better once I was on the train home, and rather regretted not having being able to eat dessert. Not least because my iron tucked into his dessert with great enthusiasm whilst I sat there looking unwell. At least it was my turn to pay so I didn't feel like I owed him anything (if that makes sense).

@Lilyrose88 Oh dear! Also, I am from the Midlands and am neither a Tory biter or a Brexiteer so he's talking bollocks.

I am currently lying on a sun lounger by the pool in Cyprus (sorry). Been chatting to an iron from Bumble who seems nice but my hearts not 100% in it if I'm honest after MrSAS.

*Tory voter!

@Sunshineandflipflops Don’t bite a tory, god knows what you could catch!