Your opinion on interracial relationships?

[sweetnsuga123]

Hi everyone,

I have been with my partner for 2 and a half years. I am white and he is black. We are constantly stared at in public, I live in area thats not very multicultural in the North West. We have received many comments shouted at us as well which always shocks me. I thought in today's society people wouldn't act like that.

I'm just wondering what your opinion on interracial relationships are and whether you'd stare in public?

I'm in one, but not white/black. No problems here, except multiple times from Chinese women. Always Chinese women. When DH was younger he had horrible problems from when he lived in the north. Not in most main south cities/towns though, though the richer towns etc with low multiculuralism have had white builder-type men say racist things to women (some of my friends) who aren't white. Not to dh though (cowards). People have given us looks, but not hostile ones - probably just "oh, that's different" kind of thoughts.

Been with dh 15 years btw, and lived in several different parts of the UK.

I’m sorry to hear that, that’s very upsetting. On one level I’m shocked, on another I think that there seems to be more racism in our society than ever.

I’m not sure how I’d deal with it Op, what have you done when people have shouted at you?

I don't stare but I look because it pleases me to see interracial couples.
My parents were such (I call them world-changers) and, yes, they received abuse.
If persons stare, just smile smugly. If persons shout, just blow them a kiss. In other words, don't let them get to you.

@merename I just ignore them mostly it angers me more than my partner and he tells me not to react I think he's used to receiving comments since he was younger so knows that ignoring is the best thing to do

I don't stare or anything (am also in an interracial marriage but most people wouldn't be able to tell by looking at us as I generally pass as 'white' to white people at first glance), but DH, who is white, probably does - because like PP before he gets irrationally happy about seeing other mixed couples xD he says we are the future haha.

@Lifeisabeach09 Oh that is a nice perspective I never thought people could be looking because it pleases them I always assume its negative. Yes I will try not to thankyou.

@YouJustDoYou Yes I think places that aren't very multicultural are probably the worst for the comments and stares

That's awful. I don't think anyone bats an eyelid where I live, but perhaps I am being naive, not being in an interracial relationship myself.

That’s horrible, OP. It wouldn’t even occur to me to look.

I’m white and my husband is Asian and we’ve been together for nearly 18 years. I don’t think we’ve ever been stared at. Or maybe I just don’t notice.

People will automatically assume that we’re not together though. All the time m! We’ll be together in a queue with our kids, DH will be served and then the cashier will try to serve me, that kind of thing. Or we’ll be in a food court and the person behind us doesn’t step forward to order because they’re waiting for me to order (cue the assistant “IT’S OK THEY’RE TOGETHER!”) That kind of thing. It’s kind of jarring to think that, despite being out in public being a family, people will take a glance and assume we’re strangers purely because we aren’t the same colour. But it strikes me as mildly prejudiced rather than malicious, if you see what I mean.

Personally it infuriates me that we even have to talk about this today, People are just so ignorant and narrow minded.
There is no difference in my honest opinion and no one should be making you uncomfortable about it.

I'm sorry you are treated that way. It sucks that it still happens even now.
I wouldn't stare or find it weird, I'm also in an interracial relationship as my husband is Asian. Never had any problems with strangers but had a few racist/ thoughtless comments over the years from his (usually drunk) friends. I get really angry, husband just laughs it off.
People can be so shit!

I'm in an interracial relationship (I'm white, he's black) and also from the North West and it's completely the norm where I am. I've never faced anything like that. In fact, I haven't dated a white man in 8 years and have never faced that.

I think the answer lies in ' not very multi cultural part ' of the north west.

I'm in the west midlands and was in a mixed relationship in the late 80s into the 90s when couples like us where not very common, both of us were abused on the streets, some pubs refused to serve us.
It feels very different now, if you go to my local park you see all sorts of mixed families. No one stands out. My adopted son is mixed race, he has exprienced remarkably little racial abuse. There have been some issues but on the whole up to know its not been an issue. That may change as he grows up and is out in the world more. But on the whole here mixed relationships arent big news.
We have good friends in Cornwall - they are mixed White/Asian, they experience more issues I think simply because they stand out more in a very white community. They have lived there for 22 years though so its not so bad they've felt they couldnt make a home there.

When I started dating my white husband, I was literally the only black in the village! Yes, we were stared at, I honestly never gave a toss though. Now pretty much everywhere you go, there a mixed race couples, it warms my heart!

My parents were an interracial couple (divorced now!). Myself and my siblings are mixed race. I've had regular comments - oreo & malteser (black on the outside, white on the inside), half-caste (!!?), the n word etc. People are quite ignorant and inconsiderate of others ime. No skin off my nose though, I love my tanned skin and curly hair! You do you OP

i am biracial and dp is white
are our kids considered mixed too?

Also in mixed race relationship. Married 10 years together longer. Haven't had any racism towards us being a mixed couple, but I have seen DH being racially abused or on receiving end of remarks about intelligence presumed on racial prejudices on more than one occasion even in multicultural London.

I'm the same as you @squashed. No kids yet but I'd count them as mixed race when I do!

I am in an interracial relationship - I am male, white and my partner is black from an African country, as is her daughter. Yes, occasionally we are aware of people subtly looking, but I cannot honestly say that we have been openly stared at or on the receiving end of comments or abuse. However, as a previous poster has said, there is often an assumption from third parties that we are not 'together' as a couple or family unit if we happen to be in a public place such as a shop, cinema etc - this, I think, is simply due to it perhaps not being the 'norm', rather than conscious rascism. I any event, we none of us give a flying fig, we all love one other, and that is all that matters!

I use to date white previously - i’m British Indian - use to get weird looks all the time & comments like ‘she’s not worth it’ etc etc. Bang out of order & unfortunately it feels like it is getting worse all over. Can you guys relocate? What area are you in? As long as you two are happy that’s the main thing.

@snoopy18 we are near Liverpool. Yeah we get similar comments. We are not planning on locating we are very happy so I guess we will just have to get used to it. When we visit London or Manchester we get less stares so must be a location thing. Very interesting to read everyone else's experiences!

I find this thread depressing. I think I must be a bit naive. It wouldn’t occur to me to look twice at a couple who didn’t have the same skin tone. The concept of doing so strikes me as mad.