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Original poster

Your opinion on interracial relationships?

147 replies

sweetnsuga123 · 17/05/2019 20:13

Hi everyone,

I have been with my partner for 2 and a half years. I am white and he is black. We are constantly stared at in public, I live in area thats not very multicultural in the North West. We have received many comments shouted at us as well which always shocks me. I thought in today's society people wouldn't act like that.

I'm just wondering what your opinion on interracial relationships are and whether you'd stare in public?

OP posts:
Honeybee85 · 18/05/2019 13:45

I am in one with DH.
So far no strange stares or comments.

I am currently pregnant and when people find out that I am married to a local guy (we live in DH’s country) the comment is always the same: a biracial baby! Great! They are so cute!

JQBased · 18/05/2019 14:00

Not in one and never thought to be in one as I've never met anyone with a different racial background that I've liked in that way, but I know all the women that have been in them that I know of have had problems. Living in very multicultural South London, I can say that all races generally not exclusively, still have a problem with interracial relationships and actually whites are probably the most accepting of it. I can see the issue when a black woman said to me, why would we want the world to head in a direction that destroys the diversity of the human race. I can see what she is saying, but for me it's just down to whether you meet someone you connect with and are attracted to or not, race has never been in my criteria. As I said though, all women I know who have been in interracial relationships have had problems from cultural clashes between the couple to family disapprovals and even threats of violence!

RLEOM · 18/05/2019 16:33

I live in London, so it's a very mixed area. There are lots of interracial couples who, as far as I know, don't get any trouble because it's not uncommon to see.

RiftGibbon · 18/05/2019 18:03

It doesn't bother me one jot. If the people are consenting adults, it's none of my business.
We have interracial marriages within my family; when the relationship first started, both sets of parents were wary, but s out became clear that this was a serious relationship, they soon accepted it, even though, when they were young, a "mixed" couple was unheard of.

redbedheadd · 18/05/2019 18:05

I have a mixed race DS and everyone is obsessed with him. There is a weird fascination with mixed ethnicity children. I literally get stopped in the street 🤨

NunoGoncalves · 18/05/2019 18:07

I live in London, so it's a very mixed area. There are lots of interracial couples who, as far as I know, don't get any trouble because it's not uncommon to see

I posted my experience above and that was while living in London.

jennymac31 · 18/05/2019 18:54

Mortgages - the last paragraph of your post is so true! I'm black and my other half is white. We've been together for almost 15 years and most of the negative comments and hassle received was from black men, many of whom were dating white women. I would be called a coconut (black on the outside white on the inside) but it was perfectly OK for black men to date outside their race. We didn't really pay much attention to the negatively.

Reading this thread reminded me of a comment a relative from the Caribbean made. They asked my mum whether there were any black people left in the UK, as they couldn't understand how/why my brother and I were both married to white people!

Shouldershrugger · 18/05/2019 19:01

I live in London. My partner is white and im Indian. I've been called a slag by fellow Indians. Just a minority but upsetting none the less

AskMeHow · 18/05/2019 19:14

I'm white, my husband's family are from India and we live in a very mixed area. When we were looking to buy our first house, we started in the more white areas of our city and my husband got unfriendly looks/comments, particularly in one or two places. This is a city with a huge proportion of non white residents, shocking. So at that point I suggested we look elsewhere. It was weird at first being a minority but I figured he must feel like that everywhere else in his life so it should be my turn. And really no one else here cares, it was just me feeling very conspicuous! We've been here five years now and I love it. His family never had an issue with me at all, were really welcoming and kind, so I feel very lucky.

jinglet · 18/05/2019 19:16

@pendeen123 - valid point. There was a programme on the BBC about dating prejudice and one of the findings was that when the eye movements of white single men were tracked as they entered a roomful of single people, they lingered longer on women who belonged to their 'race' (Caucasian) and black women barely got a look in. Similarly, when the eye movements of single white females were tracked, they barely acknowledged Chinese single men. It was fascinating. I do feel for black women- I have friends who are highly educated and professional and have struggled to find similarly educated and professional black men from their communities. If you couple this with these same women being overlooked for dating purposes by white men, then it's obvious that the dating pool for black women is very small.

And for the PP who said Asian people tend to be racist- not all but most.

jinglet · 18/05/2019 19:17

I should add that I am Asian but not racist. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Mortgages · 18/05/2019 19:25

Jinglet do you even know any black females? we don’t need your sympathy I’m black female professional and never had any problem attracting any man especially Caucasian and my fiancé is a white male Dr from a very middle class family.

Sick of these articles that make black women seem like some sorry race of women and people feigning sympathy when in real life it is not anything like that

GrumpyOldMare · 18/05/2019 19:27

It doesn't bother me in the slightest.
A friend of mine is white and married to a black guy,a workmate is Chinese and married to an English guy.
I can't see that it matters at all,as long as you're happy. No one's business but yours.

Ribeebie · 18/05/2019 19:28

I'm white and married to an Indo-Caribbean man. We used to get more looks when we lived up north (where I'm from) unfortunately but we now live in a southern city and it seems much more accepted as the norm.

One issue I noticed was when I was pregnant there was assumptions from the midwife on multiple occasions that my husband was white. They even coded him as white when he was there! I had a real struggle to get my little one his BCG which he's entitled to based on where his grandparents live, and I do think this was partly at least because I'm white and it was assumed he wouldn't need one.

tierraJ · 18/05/2019 19:33

I know at least 3 black women married to white men actually.

Personally I've dated more men outside my race & religion but that's because I've worked in a hospital & lived in a fairly large town for years where there are people of many cultures.
No one has commented.

One of my cousins is white married to a Nigerian, they live in a small mainly white town where he got beaten unconscious for being black sadly.

My sister is of mixed race appearance but I'm not. We grew up in a small mainly white country town too and she got a lot of abuse.
Even with her white boyfriends.
Since she moved to my large town she thought that was the last of it but after the Brexit vote she was racially abused by a man on the beach.

howwudufeel · 18/05/2019 19:33

This is very sad. I know lots of mixed race couples and I just wouldn’t ever think about it! My parents live in a very white area and have a mixed race couple living in their street (mainly older people) and nobody cares one iota. They are a popular family. I think DS2 has a black girlfriend (he won’t discuss it). It’s completely normal to me.

mimibunz · 18/05/2019 19:37

Doesn’t bother me. In fact I quite like seeing interracial relationships as it reinforces that love is love. I’m heartened to see commercials that use interracial actors as couples as it promotes more awareness and the normalcy of the relationships.

noodlenosefraggle · 18/05/2019 19:46

I'm Indian and my DH is white. We live in a fairly 'white' area, but there are a few mixed race families, including our elderly neighbours. I haven't noticed any animosity at all. Maybe I'm being deliberately naïve. Its very sad that people can live in such close proximity to a city like Liverpool and be so prejudiced and small minded. On a funny note, I was born in London but DH was born in Northern Ireland. We once got turned down for car insurance because I declared we were both British, but the insurance company said DH was 'foreign born'. I pointed out the Northern Ireland was in Britain grin]

MumsyJ · 18/05/2019 19:54

Aawww OP, I'm so sorry you experience this nasty behaviour from low lives. Just carry on ignoring them and I'm pleased you look beyond the skin...

Some people just need to get a life, then again, we can't force people to change... bloody stoneagers 🙄 .

username1724 · 18/05/2019 20:14

My partner is Pakistani and Muslim, I'm white British. He was born and raised in England, so British accent and he still regularly gets asked where hes from or when he moved over here. I find it's more curiosity than anything. People assume we are not together all the time, they cant believe his family and I get on really well, that SILs are some of my best friends. I often get asked about converting to Islam for him. That pisses me off, I did not and never plan to convert, hes never once pushed in that direction and I made it clear to his family from the outset which hasn't ever been a problem. I've been asked multiple times this month if I'm fasting for Ramadan (by work colleagues mostly) which I'm not. We haven't really faced any racism just mild ignorance and curiosity. It's such a shame OP that you've had such nastiness!

jinglet · 18/05/2019 20:21

Oh and I'll go back to my black friends and tell them their experiences (backed by research) aren't valid because a- seemingly angry- black female on a Internet forum told me so.

Mortgages · 18/05/2019 20:31

Love Island?? Ok Cupid??
Thanks for the resources but I only care about what happens in real life not fake OLD which is not a reflection of my reality and I’m pretty sure I know more black females than you!

You seem desperate to remind black females that they are doomed to a life of singledom! I feel for your black female “friends”

I see you’re also resorting to angry black female stereotype too!...I’m not angry or defensive just happily getting ready to go out for dinner with my fiancé we have lots of wedding planning to do.

Mortgages · 18/05/2019 20:32

And btw I don’t need to grow up but I think you need to get a life.