Inlaws

[snoopy18]

In-laws are headed over staying for close to 6 weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️

Baby is almost 10 weeks so they are coming to visit.

Any tips on getting through 6 weeks?

Other half is off for 4 thankfully but isn’t a planner & right now... zero plans 🤦🏾‍♀️

@Weenurse yep! It’s so nice this morning to not feel like I’m on edge! Noticed that yesterday today after OH went to drop them off

What are you doing with your days of freedom?

Does your OH have to collect them again? Perhaps he could be a day or 2 late! Enjoy the peace.

I can only imagine what hell that must be - my in-laws (PILs and SILs) came when my elder son was only a few weeks old. They were over for a far shorter visit and didn’t stay with me but the time they were there was pure hell e.g. he wasn’t taking to breastfeeding very well and every time he cried/grumbled, they tried to force me to breastfeed him again. I hid away in my room to do it each time as I wasn’t comfortable with them watching.

When relatives come over for too long or I don’t want to see them every day, I find that “illness” comes in very handy and gets the desired effect without causing a scene. I know it’s a bit antisocial but, in all seriousness, I would go away to a hotel (somewhere a while away but still in the U.K.) for a few days with baby due to said illness and not wanting to pass it onto the in-laws whilst mentioning how nice it will be for DH to spend some time alone with them for a change. Once back home, if you are still not feeling quite well, you might need to go to your mum’s for a few nights.

@Weenurse it’s been so nice - we didn’t do much yesterday but a good shop & just relaxed but today we went out for lunch, then just for a mooch and shop. Been fab!

They were meant to stay at their family for a week... that turned into 2 nights and OH has gone to now pick them up from train station 🤦🏾‍♀️ 27 days to go 🤦🏾‍♀️

@Drum2018 he’s gone to get them now - so annoying they only ended up staying 2 nights 😭

@Notthetoothfairy I’ve got a overnight stay out of town coming up but other than that I’m sort of stuck! OH has another 2 weeks off but it’s 2 weeks away yet 😭 he had the last 2 weeks off too. Not sure what they will do for the next 2 weeks other than get in the way. It’s just annoying to constantly have people around. Not use to it and I’m not a fan of it at all. This week should go by quick as there’s lots going on for me and baby.

OP I continue to think you are sainted, putting up with visitors after having a baby.

I was well after my first but actually found after visiting exhausting. This was with people I loved and who were thrilled that my baby had arrived safely. But still I found it tiring.

There is absolutely no excuse for the imposition.
All a new baby needs is it's two parents.
Certainly not grandparents camped out under your feet for 6 weeks.

I repeat. You are a saint👍

It’s very exhausting to even just have people in your space I feel like @billy1966 26 days to go

Keep counting down.
I also suggest a convenient illness or friend in need that takes you away for a few days.
Either that, or plan a lot of catch ups with mother’s group and the like so you are out of the house a lot.

I’m guessing the MIL will really start sniping when DH is back at work!

@Mumsnet - please report above

How are you coping, OP?

@Weenurse I’ve manage to be out a lot this week 🥳

@justilou1 almost 3 weeks left now! I’ve manage to be out of the house a lot this week but not much planned for next week so I’m going to try and sort stuff out tomorrow

I take my hat off to you. You are much more patient than I could ever be. My MIL came to stay for only four weeks and I can barely speak her name. That was almost exactly two years ago. (Oh and my kids are MUCH older, btw!)

@justilou1 yeah it’s very annoying especially the moaning about little things ie the dog around the baby just because they aren’t use to it they constantly go on at him or if the baby is crying it’s like ‘whys he crying so much’ even though he doesn’t cry that much at all apart from when he wants to sleep or nappy or feed! It’s the constant going on & stepping on toes. OH is getting annoyed too I can sense it.

And he will never admit it!!!

Most likely not 😂 but the look on his face gives it away 😂 @justilou1

How many days now?

@Weenurse 23 days to go 🙄

Oh goodness OP! You’re doing so well! I’d have moved out by now.

We lived the other side of the world when DC1 was born. My DP and PIL all arrived to stay for 2 weeks when our baby was 2 weeks old. It was too much for too long!! Their 6 weeks is ridiculous and rude.

I remember sitting at the dining table one night whilst we were all eating (DH did all shopping and cooking) and bursting into tears about 4/5 totally irrational things. I couldn’t stop crying (all normal baby hormones) and they were all looking at me and trying to rationalise the issues. I just wanted to cry.

Also, you need to make sure they aren’t sitting there cuddling your DS the whole time!! It will create a rod for your own back when they leave and you have a baby who wants to be cuddled to sleep and never put down.

Stay strong, you’re nearly there. Your DH is a twat for allowing this. What a horrible situation he’s created for you xx

Oh man this makes me so sad. I get that 6 weeks is too long, but it’s quite common in my culture. We had my mum stay with us for 3 months to help after DD was born, and then my MIL was here for 4 weeks. It’s also nice because she’d do the cooking and would watch the baby occasionally while I snuck in a nap, and was readymade adult conversation during an otherwise lonely spell of mat leave. I still went out and did my own thing, and parts of it were annoying (like having my mum over for 3 months also led to an occasional argument or snipping) but I find it quite sad that someone is complaining so much about in laws who haven’t really done much wrong other than one comment about weight. And being goaded on by other posters here for their entertainment.

I get that it isn’t British culture and this is entirely your OHs fault. I just bemoan why people marry someone whose culture is so dramatically different from their own and then expect to never have to compromise and/or mock another culture for things that are perfectly natural there.

Anyway, just makes me really sad.

@GGNewMum I do not think it is a culture but clash of personalities. My mum stayed with us for 4 weeks and she cooked breakfast, cleaned and cooked for us and my mother in law stayed for another two weeks and she needed more attention than the baby.

When it's a cultural norm I would really hope that the grandparent then 100% gets that their role is to basically run the household and support the new Mum.

Any grandparent that doesn't is going to be unwelcome regardless of culture.

I don't know how you're doing this OP but bloody well done.
3 weeks to go.
You sound awesome!
Your OH.... Not so much....

Almost halfway without stabbing anyone. You deserve a crown!!!