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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Inlaws

315 replies

snoopy18 · 16/05/2019 07:33

In-laws are headed over staying for close to 6 weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️

Baby is almost 10 weeks so they are coming to visit.

Any tips on getting through 6 weeks?

Other half is off for 4 thankfully but isn’t a planner & right now... zero plans 🤦🏾‍♀️

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Kiwiinkits · 17/05/2019 09:55

I like the fake your own death scenario Grin

Kiwiinkits · 17/05/2019 09:57

Short of that, book them on a tour ?
www.tourradar.com/pa/seniors-d-england

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2019 10:10

Why is he (and his family) making all the decisions?

Why were you not listened to when this was all suggested in the first place?

snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 10:29

Other half has - I haven’t put towards it as I don’t actually want to go. Told him we probably won’t go he can do what he wants

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snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 10:33

@Nanny0gg no idea - it went from 4 weeks with plans to meet their friends somewhere in Europe to 6 weeks with no actual plans. They are a big fat joke as is other half.

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snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 10:34

@Contraceptionismyfriend might actually do this 😂

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NauseousMum · 17/05/2019 10:51

You poor thing. He really isnt listening is he? Keep on letting him get on with things. Give them keys and arrange some coffees with friends and find some baby groups to get you out the house.

NauseousMum · 17/05/2019 10:53

Oh and if there's anywhere you want to go-zoo, museum etc- chose a day and tell your partner. If they come, they come but you and he still keep to what you want to do.

snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 11:16

Make an it worse as he never plans stuff with me either - just assumes that I’m gonna drop everything on his timing. Have told him lots doesn’t register. So I’m aiming to just do day trips with baby & just go out as much as possible without them too.

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Nanny0gg · 17/05/2019 11:17

Do you drop everything and do what he wants?

How helpful a husband/father is he?

snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 11:35

Nope! @Nanny0gg

He’s good with baby does his fair share of it all - has took him a few weeks to sort of grasp it all but I’ve been making sure baby spends evenings & weekends with him as much as possible as they need to bond.

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VeganSteve · 17/05/2019 11:38

Just wanted to echo what a PP said... please don’t miss out on baby groups etc as this is a great time to make new friends who will be around long after the ILs are gone!

snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 11:40

I haven’t started any groups yet but thinking I will do from this coming week. Primarily because I’m still recovering from birth still getting pains.

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snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 13:57

@TixieLix people have sex 10 weeks after vaginal birth?! 😳

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Sexnotgender · 17/05/2019 18:31

I feel your pain. My in-laws come for weeks at a time, I HATE it.

Happynow001 · 17/05/2019 19:28

Snoopy18 just be careful, you don’t end up sleeping in the study on a blow up mattress. Make sure your H doesn’t give up your room for them.
If he does then decamp with your baby to your own parents for the duration. Your OH really doesn't see you as an equal partner with equal input does he?

snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 20:23

@Happynow001 he does usually but he’s dumb founded on this / his family.

@Sexnotgender really? How often? I know this won’t happen for a while again it’s the light at the end of the tunnel 🙄

They’ve only been here a few hours and omgggg it’s going to be a long 6 weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️ Funny as OH sounds annoyed too

Moaning at the dog has started & they put the bouncer on the glass table 🤦🏾‍♀️

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snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 20:24

Baby is kicking off at then after a while so I’ve been mostly upstairs - that’s my boy!

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WipeYourFeetOnTheRhythmRug · 17/05/2019 20:28

This happened to me! By the end of it we’d all fallen out. Not because they were particularly unreasonable but just because we were all living in close quarters with a newborn and toddler and they never wanted to go out on their own (or do any washing or cooking). The fall out lasted a while - about a year of them not speaking to us.

Please suggest they get an Airbnb or have weekends away intermittently. You need your breathing space.

Sexnotgender · 17/05/2019 20:37

They were here for 3 weeks last year - MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL and 2 nephewsSad I was pregnant and cried a lot.

They were meant to be here in June and December for 3 weeks each visit but have decided just to do December thankfully.

snoopy18 · 17/05/2019 20:52

@Sexnotgender sounds like hell 🙄 glad for you they won’t be here in June! Omg can’t imagine having them over whilst pregnant. My mum was trying to have them over for when the baby was due thankfully they themselves said no it’s too soon 🤦🏾‍♀️ Parents I don’t get them!!

@WipeYourFeetOnTheRhythmRug yeah I doubt i’ll Speak to them for quite a while after this 🙄 have the countdown going already. Told OH he needs to sort out family visits during the 2 weeks he is at work to break it up. Better action this!

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Sexnotgender · 17/05/2019 21:10

It was pretty much hell yes. Thankfully this time it’ll just be MIL & FIL, still not my idea of fun but not as bad as last time.

I couldn’t handle 6 weeks, I’d be a wreck by the end of it! DH wanted 5 weeks and I refused, compromised on 3 weeks. I’d rather 3 days frankly Grin

snoopy18 · 18/05/2019 02:16

@Sexnotgender they don’t seem to get it do they? 3 days is more than enough 😂

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IABUQueen · 18/05/2019 02:24

For the 2 weeks he is at work go stay at your mums ?.

snoopy18 · 18/05/2019 09:15

@IABUQueen they’ll find it super offensive & so will OH it’s such a joke this whole situation. Told him they arent doing this again. I can tell he’s already getting sick of it 😂 countdown is on 🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m just focussing on baby & his needs for the 6 weeks will have to let work slide a bit

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