Dating Thread 158 - Don't wait until the iron is hot to strike

[Greenland55]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

pof will not allow you to message beyond I think 15 years age difference

Just come back from a first date with Mr Hat. Very easy to get on with, 2 hours flew by, lots of laughter. Very......nice. We don't have a huge amount in common. No initial spark.... and he was more of a talker than a listener. I just don't know whether it's worth seeing him again or not really. I wasn't blown away, but he could be slow burner I suppose. He was very nervous.

Welcome newchapter and our other newbies btw and good luck in your OLD adventures!

@putastrawunderbaby I wasn’t completely sure after my first date with MrSAS...he was nice but wasn’t sure there was a spark as such but saw him again and he grew on me pretty quickly. I’d give it another date before you write him off as I think nerves can play a massive part on a first date so it’s quite often not the ‘real’ person.

Just blocked Mr N. I think he'd lost interest too but I blocked him more so he can't contact me later if he happens to be in the area...

Profile hidden and taking a break until June, at least.

putastraw id give him another try too. You never know! You should definitely know by date 2.
What did you do for your date? My first date with this guy (haven't got a name yet?! Mr muscle? He is quite muscly) we did dinner but just in a local pub, I found it to be much less stressful than heading to a posh place as it felt like we were just 2 friends meeting up. I hate first dates sometimes, I hate that it may look obvious to other people 😂 I'm seeing Mr muscle tomorrow and I'm really looking forward

Noonoo and Sunshine I've messaged him agreeing to another date...... You're right, it's not really fair to judge anyone on a nervous couple of hours. We had coffee Noonoo. I prefer that to a meal because I can get away quickly if it's not going well! Good luck with Mr Muscle. Sounds promising!

Just switching the anglepoise on at the bench of invisibility. Joined Tinder about 48 hours ago. Have 8 matches, but only 3 have messaged. I've sent a message to a 4th. One, Mr French, wasn't exactly very conversational and wanted to meet up soon as he said he hadn't been on Tinder long, and didn't know what to say etc. But the age on his own written blurb (all of two words) was 2 years LESS than the profile age. So looks like he set up his profile a while ago, if that makes sense. I just messaged him back to say I wanted to know a bit more before agreeing to meet. He's unmatched me. Bullet dodged? 😁

I'll message the others in a bit. Nothing to lose!

I'm going to a wedding this weekend and I've block deleted my ex so I cant text him to tell him hes a wanker when I'm drunk. Is this a sign of....maturity?!

Nest, I'm interested to see others opinions, but I never message first on OLD unless its bumble.

Queen - very grown up, lol. It's the sort of thing I'd have to do!

I think it's ok to msg first, why not.

Queenbetty I'm never sure what men on OLD want. They put "ask" on their profiles as if they actively want to be messaged. I don't suggest the meeting though once a (halfway) decent convo starts flowing. Not sure whether to message those matches or not now!

TooOldForThis67 Cross posted! Well, us "oldies" shouldn't have time for game playing. I suppose I can only wing off a quick message. If no reply at least I know where I stand. (Switches anglepoise off the bench of invisibility...)

I suppose because I’m on Bumble I’ve got used to messaging first and don’t think anything of it now. The more people you message, the less you are relying on any particular one to reply if you know what I mean...

Also happy to say something like ‘fancy a coffee sometime?’ if the conversation is going well. What’s the harm in that? If they say no, well their loss... but I think they will only say no if they never intended to meet anyway in which case - whatever... thank u, next...

It’s not like we are asking them to the prom in front of all their friends...

Emojina True! 😂

Emogi - I've quite frequently been the first to ask to meet. I'm the first to suggest going to bed sex. I don't care what they think.

I remember the first time (apart from working together 25 yrs ago) I met MrWow. I offered him a drink and he agreed to one as he was driving. I then offered him another and he said no, I've got to drive. I said 'It's ok, you can have another'. Lol. It took a while for the penny to drop. He said he'd never had made the first move, it being a first meet and at my house.

Ha, my friend has beaten the rules in to me and insists I cant message first, ask questions whne he hasn't or ask him out first. It gets very tiring very quickly....but then I've never had anything work out with someone I messaged first.

@Queenbetty agree with pp, never worked out when I messaged first so I don't bother now.

I matched with a guy on tinder. He will not be an iron but for the purposes of here I will call him Mr Minger. His opening line “spit or swallow?” I asked him if that line worked for him. His answer was no!

Think my walk and cake date is still on with Mr Manflu this afternoon

Marlboroandmalbec34 these guys have serious misogynistic issues, he probably doesn't even know he hates women, he should go full MGTOW

@Queenbetty @nestofswipers @emojina this is where men can't win. I expect them to make the first move yet if they make the first move I think they're a confident player who has probably just messaged ten other women!

Sometimes I'll message someone but it's usually if they're someone who's looked at my profile lots or favourited me. Usually they then ignore me or reject me which is so bloody annoying! My current iron contacted me first and is making lots of effort. I do see lots of profiles where guys encourage women to contact them but it feels lazy to me and I have said before I wonder if they just like the ego boost.

marlboro yuk! How can these guys not realise that's never going to work?

I also wonder about the guys with dodgy usernames e.g. 'Boris69' when he wasn't born in 69. Am I allowed to say that Match has a 'Muffinmuncher' (clearly means 'muffmuncher') and I'm sure I have seen a 'NineInchNigel'. They're memorable for all the wrong reasons.

too have I missed something-are you saying you and Mr Wow used to work together years ago?