Dating Thread 158 - Don't wait until the iron is hot to strike

[Greenland55]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

but a slow build up over a couple of hours and you can end up with a brain orgasm which is 10 times better than just a quick ejaculation

I really don’t want to have sex sessions that are measured in hours. Well, fine if it involves multiple, discrete shagging episodes of sensible length with cuddling in between. But 2 hours waiting for a guy to get round to coming? I don’t care how good the ‘brain orgasm’ is; I would be thoroughly bored and tired by then. And probably a bit sore.

I guess we all have different ideas of ‘good sex’.

@Lovemusic33 yes tantric/karezza pretty similar, its really about maintaining a LTR with sex rather than the excitement of a new partner

I’m not sure I want to download a PDF of instructions for shagging either. 😂

@Crustaceans I think you and I are on the same page when it comes to sex!

I've been stalking this thread for a while and wondered if I could join? Separated from my husband last September, dipped a toe into dating from Feb but only had two dates so far, using bumble in the main - just seems all the guys want sex without the dating part?!
Anyway, loved reading through this and thought I'd see if I could join in the fun!

vwman looks like we are outnumbered 🤣.

Welcome Newchapter

newchapter - Welcome! Have you tried Tinder and POF? Could it be something in your profile that invites the sex pests? You could get someone to review your profile for you or widen your net on OLD.

@LilyRose88

And me! It sounds like far too much effort, I just go for no sex, much easier!

@Lovemusic33 @vwman Lots to be said for a long, slow, sensual sesh with the right person. I do like to count it in hours 👍😳

@Newchapterstarting Welcome. Nice name. If you use the word "fun" anywhere in your profile it's a green light to those who think you mean adult fun, rather than a night down the Dog and Duck for quiz night and a meat raffle...

@Love @vwman I also like longer, gentle sessions but have only discovered this since being with MrSAS. He has great stamina but spent just pound away. There are lots of positions involved, a mix of fast and slow pace, kisses, caressing....man I’m missing him right now!

*doesn’t just pound away!

For me it is as much a recognition that I am no longer 18 years old any more and don't have the stamina that I used to even though I keep myself fit. I would love to still have a satisfying sex life when I am 80 years old so it is a matter of changing my style as I get older so that my partner is still satisfied.

sunshine - MrWow is just like that and in my experience, it's rare to find. Defo worth keeping, lol.

I would add that it's personal preference and if you match with them then that leads to fabulous, wonderful, earthy, steamy sex where you both part breathless and satisfied with smug grins on your face!

Thanks folks for the warm welcome!
I've just checked my profile, definitely don't use the word fun and I even say no Fwb or ons- pictures are normal not sexy in my opinion, I've no clue?!
I have a kind of sexy teacher vibe going on so I'm told, maybe that's it?!

@Newchapterstarting I would take the no FWB ONS off you profile as men are reminded of sex when they read it, they may start to think, "I wonder what she is like in bed" The male brain does not recognise no, it just recognises FWB ONS

@Newchapterstarting to be honest I think that some guys just try their luck whatever you say in your profile. I say that I am looking for a relationship but I get loads of guys who are clearly after sex. As soon as they start to talk dirty I just block them . I had one guy on Tinder this morning tell me that we would get on really well as long as I 'put out'. Hilarious. He was quite ugly too and I have no idea why I swiped right on him - I think it was an accidental swipe when I was tired last night.

Newchapter, I don’t think men even read our profiles half the time. Mine clearly states I’m looking for a relationship and not a FWB but most the messages I get are from young 26 year olds wanting a shag.

Vwman - as I'm guessing you're a guy I'll take that advice and action it straight away, thanks for the tip! Often forgot our brains are wired differently 😆
I don't mind playing along for a bit but when I get down to brass tacks and ask whether they're looking for a relationship they usually just say no, just something casual 🙈

Lovemusice33 God save us from the 26 year olds wanting a shag! I get so many young guys asking to 'meet' me and I know they just want sex. When I was that age it was really easy to get a shag when you wanted it so it does make me wonder what is wrong with them

Newchapterstarting its like me saying to you "dont think of a pink elephant under any circumstances"

@vwman It's hilarious. There must be some very frustrated young guys around. Bless them.

LilyRose88 I have said it before, I am sure a lot of these men are addicted to porn and want to act out what they have seen. When I was their age I did not have easy access to porn therefore my brain has not been wired in the same way

I appreciate sites that let you prevent or warn against contact outside an age range. I have that set up on fab so I don't get messages from the boys!