Dating Thread 158 - Don't wait until the iron is hot to strike

[Greenland55]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Okay thanks love music. Couple of my friends have said take it slowly but I’m thinking as adults that seems quite hard to do

@ccgirr Do whatever works best for you, doing something to please someone else wouldn’t be right.

I’ve just seen mine two days in a row, we both had the free time so decided to take advantage. Especially as I don’t have any childcare for two weeks if he wants to meet up again.

Yeah we are going to hit a no child care issue after this weekend too so think you right - thanks guys. Guess just got to go with the flow. I had kids stay at my parents last night which I hate as mum drinks. Hated it as a kid and don’t want put them in that situation but if don’t use, then don’t go out in week. Is such a nightmare

I now have a date secured for Sunday with Mr Dog. Mr No Hair just messaged me asking if he can see me, said he had driven past my house several times and my car wasn’t outside 😐, I now feel like I’m being stalked.

On POF does it automatically put your location in or can you just put anywhere?

@lovemusic33 did you tell No Hair that you were not interested in seeing him again or did you hope he would just disappear.

Jesus love music that is stalkerish! Keep door locked

I have a date next weekend but I can't help but feel I pushed him into it.

Go for it ccgirr

Pushed him into it how queenbetty?

I suggested we go for drinks then after much discussion about how great drinks are, he asked me for drinks 🤷‍♀️

Queen Betty- try not to over think and just enjoy drinks.
Mr races has asked if I want to try his hot tub out tonight...

lovemusic I'd find that alarming.

I have a date! I will call this iron Mr Hat. I know almost nothing about him - he's gone straight to asking me out - which is refreshing.

I need a shake! I’m missing MrSAS!
I won’t see him until Tuesday due to me having the kids this weekend and even then we’re not going to have a lot of time together as I have to go out for a family birthday first then he’s coming over after. I even tried to get out of the family birthday but he told me I should go.
I don’t want to fall too fast after previous experiences but it’s didficult!

putastraw he does drive past my house when he’s working but it does sound a bit stalkerish. I told him I was out all day today but now I’m poorly so have cancelled my meetings and will be at home. I’m worried he will just turn up unannounced.

Lovemusic that's a bit weird!

Thanks for the birthday wishes - birthday is today and am waiting for Mr BC to pick me up for the airport.

Totally, completely and utterly making myself at home on the smitten bench. I've got some cushions, hung some pictures and am sprawled right across it 😳😊😊

I do need to be stern with him and tell him I’m not interested don’t I? The thing is he seems like a nice person but he’s just not for me and the sex is pretty awful.

I really want to DTD with Mr dog but I’m trying to behave as i don’t want to ruin things but I kind of need to know if he’s any good as the sex bit is pretty important to me but I don’t want it to be all about sex. I have to chose a location for our date on Sunday but my mind is just thinking of somewhere quiet and secluded 😁

@Lovemusic33 it would have been easier if you had sent him the "this isn't working for me, but I wish you all the best" message after his 5 minute wonder last week. I'd send the message today as it sounds like he's causing you a bit of anxiety. As far as he's concerned nothing has changed, but you know you're not interested in him as a FWB or anything else so pull off the plaster and send him the message.

batshit happy birthday, please don't get cake crumbs on the bench.

TooOld thinking of you today

Well done to all the smoking giver uppers.

I got a bit maudlin last night after seeing my divorce solicitor who gave me some bad news and sent a long gushing message to MrCornish about how lucky I was to have him in my life and I'd miss him very much if he wasn't in it, and how happy he made me, appreciated all the support he gave me blah blah 😳. Fortunately the feeling was mutual otherwise I'm sure it would have been enough to make him run a mile. Have been seeing him for a month now. I might ask him if he'd like a girlfriend🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd love to join this thread. Is it only for OLD? I have had seriously bag luck in the men department :( met a guy IRL almost 2 weeks ago and went on a first date on Monday. Seeing him this weekend. It'd be great to be able to ask questions from other daters. A lot of my closest friends have been in relationships for a while now and so aren't in the game anymore.

lovemusic that is really stalkerish. I'd just be really honest with him if I was you.

Date night last night with MrFox. Lovely meal out and back to his... he showed a whole new side in the bedroom department and I loved it.

I feel like we have stepped over the 'dating line' well and truly now. We are both so easy and comfortable with each other.
I have the feels massively and I love feeling like this!

lovemusic that is stalkerish and if the sex isn't great - and he doesn't want to improve it - then you need to finish with him.

batshit hope you had a good day.

jesuisprest so jealous of you and Mr Cornish. (but happy for you too).

Welcome noonooyou of course you can join. I'm not an expert on dating but ask your questions and someone else will come along.

Have been chatting with Mr Runner all day. Very polite so far. We have lots of interests in common. He mentioned having a phonecall so we're going to set that up for the weekend. Might move the convo over to WhatsApp although that's the bit that always panics me when they start bombarding me with updates of their day and I feel under pressure.

@JeSuis your situation sounds a lot like mine. I went to see my solicitor this week about the family home (desperate to stay in it with the kids) and the news wasn’t exactly as I’d hoped. MrSAS was great and I even said to him I don’t want to dump all my stress on him as he has been through his divorce and own stress but he said it wasn’t stressful for him at all and he’s happy to help if he can.
I still hate that I’m having to get divorced and deal with all the associated stress because my husband couldn’t be the husband and father he promised to be but at least being on here helps me remember I’m not alone.

stealthninja yes!! The daily updates freak me out too! So glad it's not just me.

Happy birthday @batshitcrazywoman! Nice cushions!

happy birthday batshit can't remember if I said it earlier but this thread is so long I can't find my last post!

and I'm so happy for all those on the smitten bench!

have sorted out the health issue that was stopping me coming back to OLD and want to sort out a work issue over the next few weeks (it just consumes so much time, I want it resolved before i do OLD) and then I'll be back on it. Not quite sure whether to be excited or exasperated!

putastrawunderbaby I think I said either earlier in this thread or maybe the last one that I have only just realised that ex basically hasn't shown any interest in me for years so I find it odd that other men do which I
think is why I was feeling freaked out by the frequent texts. I also find my humour doesn't come across well. It sounds stupid but I am texting / what sapping my friends all the time now with emojis and crap stuff as I was seriously rubbish at communicating other than face to face.

Happy birthday batshit. I hope you are bringing cake to the bench?

I’m feeling a bit less smitten today. Mr S was out drinking at a corporate event yesterday and I thought it was strange I didn’t hear from him. He’s texted to say he was in a bit of a state and got put in a taxi home early doors. I enjoy a drink and have some embarrassing stories myself but my ex was an alcoholic so drinking issues can make me feel a bit wobbly.

lovemusic that’s very stalkerish. You need to end things with him. You need to feel safe and not watched in your own home.

Welcome to the thread noonoo. Lots of good dating advice from the wise folks on here.

Glad your health issue is sorted daffo.

Aw jesuis and sunshine things sound like they are going very well!!