Dating Thread 158 - Don't wait until the iron is hot to strike

[Greenland55]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

lifegoes but you have said they have changed what they do on social media and if they are making a point of it, who to and why? People in genuinely happy relationships don’t need to make a point.

I like a kiss at the end of the date if there is an attraction. Have you heard from him since the date ended?

That's very true mind @Notcoolmum she's deliberately added loads of old photos of them together.

Not yet, we got on ok but for a guy that was full of sexting I expected a grab and a kiss

I’ve never kissed on a first date (other than a peck on the cheek) as I always think you both need to go away and see how you feel about the other person and if you want to see them again. If the answer is yes then a kids on the second date when you know you are into each other.

Really @Sunshineandflipflops ? I've always had the man grab me and kiss me.

But then they've all failed ha

@lifegoes I’d hate that! I need time to process whether I like them before I can snog someone! I would be miffed if it didn’t happen on date two though 😂

I hate guys who kiss on the first date but I'm too passive and cant figure out how to politely say no

Sexting before meeting? I would expect a kiss given that.

I'd assume it's reasonably apparent, even if it's not a snog, whether it's a perfunctory peck on the cheek to be polite, or a kiss on the cheek/lips that could easily turn into a snog if given the right signal.
Personally I wouldn't just dive in for a snog but if I fancied someone and thought it was mutual I would do the latter. With MissOz it was a quick goodbye kiss on the lips that turned into a snog. Other dates got a polite peck on the cheek.
Oh and I forgot to say earlier, not only is she bringing porridge but we are now officially BF and GF 😁 It's like being back at school again except I'm 47 😂

@Sunshineandflipflops oh I like it. Then I know how they are, I like assertive men.

@Queenbetty I think he's just saying talk. Which for me is no good. I've spoken to him since and just all friendly.

I personally need a strong character man, a man who knows what he wants. I know it can be hard for men to judge a situation and I certainly wouldn't make a move. But I'd expect a kiss

Exactly @Ant330 always go in for the kiss on the cheek. But that didn't happen. I'm not particulars arsed. I've taken a break from OLD. He isn't assertive enough for me so I'm happy to look at after me for a bit.

Fantastic news by the way on the GF and BF.

Good positive attitude life

Im with ant on the peck on the lips and see if it turns into more.

Congrats on being BF/GF. How did that happen. I’ve wondered if this is an assumption or if a conversation needs to happen. We text loads every day and see each other about 4x a week but not had ‘that’ conversation 🤔

I can't remember what we were talking about exactly notcool but she let slip the word GF to describe herself and then went bright red and started frantically back pedalling, until I replied "well that's how I'd describe you now" which brought out a big smile 😂
I was just slightly annoyed at myself after for not taking the opportunity to prolong her embarrassment at least for a few minutes 😂

Well had a nice phone call with an old iron from years ago-on a purely platonic basis but just nice to have a catch up and a genuinely nice guy.

And ant that's the best way for that bf/gf conversation to come about-good for you!

Great news Ant

I kissed two women yesterday, or should I say they kissed me as they offered. They were kisses on the cheek from professional business contacts as I had not seen them for a while. But I would never have kissed them if they had not initiated it.

The same way on a date I am looking for a sign that a woman is open to it and moves towards a kiss, if I don't sense it then I will never go in for a kiss and just leave saying goodbye. But if we do kiss and I just get a peck on the cheek, that would indicate to me that they were not interested and I would probably not ask for a 2nd date unless I got a "really enjoyed it" message afterwards.

I’m so nervous about my date today, been awake since 5am. Not sure why I’m so nervous, been on so many dates it should be easy. The weather is awful so my lovely straightened hair will turn into frizz. Still have no idea what I’m wearing, can’t really wear anything nice as need comfy shoes for walking and a rain coat.

I would expect a peck on the lips and then a snog if I go in for a second peck or put my hand on his shoulder to indicate I want to.

If I'm not interested I stand well back and offer a cheek if he lunges. One guy kissed me far too intimately for a first date, very hard with a lot of tongue, I now make sure I don't have my back to a wall so I've got space to step back.

Funny how different expectations are. I always kiss on cheek when meeting a date. I always hug when leaving. I have never ever snogged on a first date and I wouldn't. And none of my dates have gone in for one. I'd find that really presumptious and not want a second date. You can't tell how someone is feeling. I am a very open, friendly tactile person but doesn't mean I fancy you!

I'm with you peanut.

I’m happy for a peck on the cheek but if I don’t fancy them then I don’t want to snog them!
@Ant great news about MissOz! I don’t know if MrSAS are at that stage or not but don’t want to bring it up!

I’d happily snog someone on a first meet as long as we’re not in public, if we are keep at least two feet of space between us please.

I had one date almost pin me against my car to kiss me, it was horrible and I couldn’t back away , he was pretty shy for the whole date so I didn’t expect him to pounce on me.

I don’t mind kissing on a first date but rarely do, most guys are respectful and will just give a hug or a kiss on the cheek.

Yes that's it @Lovemusic33 I'd find it disrespectful.

@SimonJT every first date is in public! It would be a huge risk for it not to be.

I’d happily snog someone on a first meet as long as we’re not in public, if we are keep at least two feet of space between us please.

@SimonJT but what if you don’t fancy them?! I can’t snog people I don’t fancy!