Dating Thread 158 - Don't wait until the iron is hot to strike

[Greenland55]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@lifegoes I've just had a cull of all the really dull WhatsApp conversations that I have had in the last few months with guys from OLD that invariably go nowhere. And I've blocked a weird guy who was sort of stalking me on POF. I have one half-hearted conversation going on with a local guy on POF but looking at his profile I don't think we have much in common.

@CocoKoko123 I thought you were on the smitten bench? Have you fallen off ☹️

I delete their number once I'm done with them @LilyRose88 😂😂

I got told this morning that my ex (the one where I was the OW and didn't know) his wife has taken him back. She said it was the 6th or 7th time he'd done it in 4 years and 2 years of marriage. This has knocked for me for sick. How the hell does he get to be happy and I'm sat feeling like shit

@CocoKoko123 - What's happened? You ok?

@lifegoes I don't believe that you ex is really happy, and what sort of life is it for his wife if he has done the same thing 6 or 7 times in 4 years? You are well out of that situation.

I must get deleting as I have all sorts of random numbers in my phone

@LilyRose88 it feels like they are.

I had names like xxxx tinder. Xxxx knob. xxx bumble xxx player. Xxx prick

😂😂😂

@lifegoes people who post happy family photos on social media are often not happy at all, but they post the photos to convince themselves, and other people, that all is well. I realise it must be tough though to see them playing happy families.

I love the names you gave your irons on your phone.

@lifegoes I know a few women with husbands like that and it's extremely dysfunctional. I think your ex is probably always looking over his shoulder. The women I know also post extremely happy pics whilst crying on my shoulder about said husband cheating. It's not a life you should envy, you are better than that

I agree about posting happy photos on Fb, from what I have seen, couples that do this don’t last that long 🤣, I kind of enjoy watching it happen (is that bad of me). I have a friend who has a new boyfriend and constantly posts photos of them together, tells everyone how amazing and perfect he is and how in love they are, I bet it won’t last.

Awww ladies thank you for reassuring me with this. @LilyRose88 @Lovemusic33 @Shelby121

Maybe I should keep watching and see it all unfold.

I know I shouldn't have looked after I was told, but I couldn't help it. I just looked and thought how dare he be so happy after what he did to me. He's never once tagged her in things and now he's full of them and she's posting picture.

Mumsnet NT members together 😂

I put it on my profile for a bit, but it doesn't seem to attract other 30 year olds....

lifegoes How did he get the name MrFilth?

Thanks too and peanut for asking how I am.too as you have said to me before I tend to take on everyone else's problems but have had enough of my own in the past (and still ongoing on a few things-although nothing that prevents me from being able to commit to a relationship though) and just want stability and no drama!Iron going through a lot at the moment and I wanted to be supportive but the balance was tipping and starting to affect me plus my gut was starting to warn me.I've just said to him I need to take some space.Haven't been in contact but still together on social media etc.
ant glad to hear your update re miss oz.
life agree with what others have posted re your situation.
No interest in looking elsewhere atm.Just going to take some time.

Haven't been

@likeridingabike he's got that glint in his eye and tbf I gave him that name before he started the sexting

Having a break is really good - I can so recommend it. I focused on my friendships and real life and got out and did a load more things! I also came off Facebook which is the best thing I have ever done!

People kept saying bet you meet someone in real life - I didn't and never have tbh despite being in a very male industry, but I did 'do' a lot more. Swiping on the apps is like having another very time consuming job!

@CocoKoko123 think sometimes you need that space to sort things for yourself. I hope you are ok though and rem we are here for you.

@CocoKoko123 - so you are having a breather from each other? Or is it terminal? Sorry this has happened to you either way. It's easy to gloss over things at the beginning but they soon overwhelm you, add your own issues and it becomes unhealthy. There has to be a balance.

Thanks too - I don't know 🤷‍♀️ It's complicated.difficult to say too much without outing.i said I needed space to distance myself from him/his situation and have just left it at that.I don't need someone that needs fixing.

Thanks Coco sorry to hear your situation, but it sounds like you're doing the right thing for you 👍

Thanks ant just horrible having the radio silence even though I said I needed space. If he values me and has valued my support at all then hopefully it will give him the wake up call he needs - maybe in a few months he'll have himself sorted out but if he doesn't he doesn't.

I’ve got to tidy my flat for tomorrow/Thursday, it’s an absolute shithole. As a responsible parent I have simply moved a lot of the still boxed crap into my sons room.

Got the timings, lunch tomorrow is 13:00-14:35, on Thurday it’s 14:50-16:30, so we will just finish at 14:50 and preschool pick up isn’t until 17:45, winner.

lifegoes if everything was so good they wouldn’t feel the need to plaster it all over social media. And he’s a multiple cheat? His poor wife must have very low self esteem.

Sorry to hear this coco. I often worry my situation is a lot for someone else to deal with. But I’ve been on my own a long time. I don’t need anyone to fix me. But it is nice sharing things with someone for a change.

That sounds tough coco. I went out with someone who had a lot going on and I never really felt like their priority - which I know might sound slightly selfish but whatever drama was occurring always came first. Stuff got cancelled all the time and it was just too much. I had a sneaky suspicion that he was just not that into me but who knows...

I think throwing a test out for him (which sort of sounds like you're doing?) might not be the best thing for you (hoping he gets in contact)?

It's not plastered all over social @Notcoolmum it just seems they are making a point of it.

Just finished my date with Mr Filth. Was ok, we got on well and he's good looking. But he didn't go in for a kiss and I don't like that c