I have to leave him, don't I?

[MeltedEggMum]

Yesterday my husband attacked me.

We have had our ups and downs like all couples, nothing out of the ordinary I thought.

Before he attacked me we were having a good day, he was off work, we had the plumber in, everything was chilled.

I left to do the school run and came home to him feeling stressed because the toddler had made a mess of talc upstairs. I joked with him a bit to try to diffuse the situation but he suddenly turned nasty.

He grabbed me by the throat and slapped me around the face three times.

I froze. I couldn't believe it was happening. He walked away from me and as we went downstairs he threatened to do it again.

Luckily I had my phone on me and I called the police straight away.

They arrested him and he was given a caution late last night - he's staying with a friend.

There's no fixing this, is there? He's ruined everything. I'm still in shock. Yesterday morning I had a normal life.

Cool! I love it.

I just got round to catching up this thread. Proud of you Melted Egg. Keep doing what you're doing. I hope things continue to get better for you because you so deserve it and are doing everything to help yourself and your children, (you're an amazing mum.) Lots of love.

Small update. My jaw is still not quite right, feels a bit out of alignment and sore/stuff. The dentist has given me some exercises but if that doesn't help enough I may have to wear a mouth guard for a while. She said it could take a long time to get back to normal, or it may never be normal.

Even though I'm not questioning my decisions, this definitely firms up my resolve even more.

He must have thumped me HARD. The weird thing is that I don't remember any pain.

Poor you. I hope your dentist can write all that down, I imagine it’ll be helpful in the divorce though.

That will have been the shock and adrenaline!!!

I got badly beaten up once. Broken nose, two black eyes, split lip. I still bear the scars. But at the time and for 24 hours after, I felt no pain. It's adrenaline and shock.

As someone who grew up with a violent father I can promise you that it is never just a one off, of you forgive this he will hit you again. I cannot put into words how seeing my mum being used as a punch bag affected me, I'm 30 now and in a relationship with a young baby and while my DP has never displayed any kind of violent behaviour I still flinch if he even slightly raises his voice at me

Stay strong

This may be something for the future if jaw doesn’t recover Melted. There are people who may be able to help with the jaw. An Osteopath may be able to help, possibly cranial Osteopathy. Also, I’ve had kinesiology before which fixed a jaw problem for me. Obviously you’d pay privately for this. But you could also go back to the doctor and asked to be referred for nhs physio. In many areas you can self refer for physio online.

Thanks, Ponies. I'm open to alternative therapies so I'll keep that in mind.

I have jaw issues from physical trauma in my past and the one thing that finally helped me get relief from the discomfort was finding a really good cranial osteopath.
It took time for it work for me because the muscles had become so used to operating around the moved jaw.
If you feel you could seek help sooner you may find a faster benefit.

Your daughter is AMAZING !!

How lovely to hear this

Hope all going ok for you

You are free now !!!

And I hope you are safe finally

Wow. Just read through the whole thread and I'm in awe of your bravery and brilliance. Your DD has a great role model to look up to. ❤️

Thank you queenrollo, it's definitely something I'm going to look into. It's a good point about muscle adaptation and trying to fix an old injury.

looondonn she really is something special. I'm so proud of her. No more GCSEs, too! We're off out tomorrow for some well deserved fun, and to take our minds off father's day.

AllOverIt I have learned from some amazing women in my life and on Mumsnet. I didn't do this alone.

Just checking in on how you and your daughter are doing?

Don't let him off.... don't feel sorry for him.... make an example out of him... he has no right whatever the excuse and yea you got to leave him as once the barrier is crossed he will do it a lot, and your child deserves better and will probably damage them mentally around a abuser.

My friends daughter had her teeth knocked out after the baby teeth and to this day no teeth at the front and the poor girl will need fake teeth etc.

Hi! We are feeling good. Life is better without him, of course, and now that GCSEs are over we are much more relaxed.

We have been having fun as a family, and although I'm sure we have plenty of challenges ahead, I think we will be okay.

I'm still struggling with my jaw, but honestly it isn't too horrible, just enough for me to have dental records that can be used in court, if needed. I intend to instruct a solicitor soon, and investigate legal aid. I still don't know his new address, but I suppose there are ways to obtain that.

UUUGGGGHHHH

My ex-FIL just "shared" an old family photo with me. No message, just a picture from a few years ago.

How dare he try to guilt trip me!!!

I'd be tempted to 'share' a picture of your broken jaw. See how that fits in the family album.

Your in laws will have minimised what he did.

Yes, they are a whole family of abusers and enablers as far as I'm concerned. I've ignored it, just venting here.

He signed a three month lease on a bedsit almost two months ago. I hope he is making plans to move back to the loving arms of his dysfunctional family; he has no friends around here.

@Whocansay you took the words right out of my mouth!

Sorry you're going through this OP. Pity he doesn't have any shame. You're doing so well. Don't forget that.

I’m so proud of you op

So I’m guessing ex FIL is getting blocked.

"Over the years I became childlike in my dependence on him, allowing him to make all the decisions while I second guessed my instincts. But it turns out I am strong, intelligent and fierce. I like this woman that I am."

Yes you are @MeltedEggMum I don’t know you but I have read this entire thread and am so proud of you that you got away from him and amazed at your strength and savvy. You are brilliant.

You are doing so well KOKO

T