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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Which man out of the two would you choose?

159 replies

Jayde87 · 24/04/2019 20:52

  1. man number one:- intense sexual chemistry with him. He is 2.5 years older than me. Junior doctor earning around £35,000-40,000. Highly intelligent. Tall. Good looking. He asks me to go back to his place for drinks. We had a make-out session the other night. kissing etc. He was pretty passionate. He called me sexy and beautiful. Seems to like beer a bit too much though (drinks a pint nearly every day and asks me to drink as well). Not sure if I trust him completely with other women because he is so good at seducing me, but i could be v wrong. He has had 5 girlfriends and a few other relationships. Known him for a month so all very new. Not really sure of his personality but he seems very outgoing and likes to party.
  2. Man number 2. Known for a year. Had same sort of chemistry as number 1 but this has died down. 11 years older than me. Not as attractive as 1 but is mature, kind, great listener, serious, very intelligent and would make a great supportive husband. Not got loads in common due to age gap but we have some hobbies in common. Never had a girlfriend due to not finding anyone he would like to date. He is quiet and has a few close friends. Doesn’t like to drink or party.
OP posts:
managedmis · 24/04/2019 20:53

Hmm?

Senseiwu · 24/04/2019 20:54

Neither!

beenwhereyouare · 24/04/2019 20:56

Does the 2nd man know you're not exclusive?

Dirtybadger · 24/04/2019 20:56

Neither. First one all the good things are superficial or bleeding and there are enough bad things to be a big no. And the second one just sounds like a nice guy who you aren't compatible with.

KateyKube · 24/04/2019 20:59

11 years is too big of an age gap for me. I’d pick number 1. He sounds perfect!

CoffeeConnoisseur · 24/04/2019 21:00

Choose for what?

“would make a great supportive husband”
Hmm doesn’t sound much like either of them see you in their future in that way.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 24/04/2019 21:01

At a wedding I went to once the vicar said:-

“Don’t marry someone you can live with - marry someone you can’t live without.”

Musti · 24/04/2019 21:04

Out of those, number 1, but obviously only to start dating to see if you do end up falling for a each other.

sackrifice · 24/04/2019 21:04

What are we picking him for exactly?

InadvertentlyBrilliant · 24/04/2019 21:07

Move on and find number 3. He's the one. Grin

Ragwort · 24/04/2019 21:08

Why are you asking? Are they the only only two single men left on the planet? Hmm

Slightly bemused that you think ‘drinking nearly a pint a day’ is too much .... and who drinks nearly a pint? Confused. Does he leave the last few mouthfuls?

ukgift2016 · 24/04/2019 21:08
  1. Will ghost you after sex
  2. Is shit at sex.

Hope that helped!?

Decormad38 · 24/04/2019 21:10

No 2. I’ve dated doctors ( being a nurse) and they turned out to be ***!

RLEOM · 24/04/2019 21:11

I wouldn't go near an older man who has never been in a relationship - I'd see it as a red flag.

Jayde87 · 24/04/2019 22:05

Who would you choose for a relationship?
I am sure there are many men out there but I am asking about which one out of these two? I am 32 now. The first guy is turning 35 soon and the second is turning 43. I am a dentist myself so have more in common with guy number 1. I’m Chinese and my parents are keen on me dating someone Chinese. First guy is European and the second is Chinese.
Second guy hasn’t had relationships before due to being very quiet. He is a great listener but he isn’t very good at making conversation and sometimes I get a bit frustrated with his ‘dunnos’ and ‘okays’.
First guy, being 35, do you think 5 gfs is too many? He hasnt really pressured me for sex and we have had a few dates already. When we were making out at his flat though he didn’t want to let me go! He wanted me to stay the night but I said I had work the next day.

OP posts:
Mistybee · 24/04/2019 22:25

Neither

If you can’t decide, neither is right. The right man will jump out and you won’t even think of anyone else

Sally2791 · 24/04/2019 22:26

Neither. Keep looking

PurpleDaisies · 24/04/2019 22:27

If you’re stuck between the two, you shouldn’t be with either.

I don’t think the opinions of strangers will help you here.

Unburnished · 24/04/2019 22:29

Are you only allowed to date these men and no others? Neither sound great. 1 will shag around and party and 2 will bore you to tears.

Find some more men.

ElloBrian · 24/04/2019 22:33

Uhhhhh.... it all sounds very commoditised. Why not wait til you meet someone who actually does it for you.

Jayde87 · 24/04/2019 22:33

Okay if ‘neither’ was not an option, which guy would you choose?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 24/04/2019 22:34

Why do you care what ransoms think? Confused

PurpleDaisies · 24/04/2019 22:35

And why would “neither” not be an option anyway?

Jayde87 · 24/04/2019 22:35

I care what strangers think cos I am very indecisive and cant decide on my own! I have no female friends or mum/ sister I can talk to.

OP posts:
BogglesGoggles · 24/04/2019 22:36

Surely man number 2 isn’t going anywhere? Try the first guy, if he is as sleepy as he sounds then you have s back up.