Which man out of the two would you choose?

[Jayde87]

1. man number one:- intense sexual chemistry with him. He is 2.5 years older than me. Junior doctor earning around £35,000-40,000. Highly intelligent. Tall. Good looking. He asks me to go back to his place for drinks. We had a make-out session the other night. kissing etc. He was pretty passionate. He called me sexy and beautiful. Seems to like beer a bit too much though (drinks a pint nearly every day and asks me to drink as well). Not sure if I trust him completely with other women because he is so good at seducing me, but i could be v wrong. He has had 5 girlfriends and a few other relationships. Known him for a month so all very new. Not really sure of his personality but he seems very outgoing and likes to party.
2. Man number 2. Known for a year. Had same sort of chemistry as number 1 but this has died down. 11 years older than me. Not as attractive as 1 but is mature, kind, great listener, serious, very intelligent and would make a great supportive husband. Not got loads in common due to age gap but we have some hobbies in common. Never had a girlfriend due to not finding anyone he would like to date. He is quiet and has a few close friends. Doesn’t like to drink or party.

Neither is an option if I keep on looking, but focussing on the here and now, these are the two guys interested in me right now.

It’s pretty obvious that the strangers think “neither” is best.

Both!

Number 1 if had to choose, but only for a fling. Guy in his forties never having had a girlfriend? Red flag for me too.

This is the kind of decision only you can make.

i think neither too

I know you want force us to vote but I think neither too

Neither tbh. I'd fool around with 1 but keep in mind that it wouldn't go anywhere. I'd consider 2 but if he doesn't tick all your boxes then don't go there. Don't settle.

Why would number 1 mess you around. 5 girlfriends from being a teenager until 35 isn't that alarming is it? I've only had long term relationships but many people I know have had that many and then settled.

But regardless of who you choose, get to know each other and spend time with each other and see how it goes. You don't have to decide who your going to marry just because you start to date him!

I do not think it is your decision to make, you are assuming No 1 wants a relationship with you? Given his previous record I say you are simply at risk of being another notch on his bed post.

The first guy says he loves to party but by that I don’t mean going clubbing... I think he likes to have a drink with friends. He likes to dress up in black tie and go ‘party’ at doctor conferences.
He said he has been single for a while now. Last girlfriend he met at a doctors conference and they had a LDR (different cities) but he made the effort to travel 3 hours on the train to see her at weekends.
Don’t know him well enough to know if he is kind etc. I assume if he is a doctor he will be empathetic?
Haven’t slept with him yet but he is a great kisser and awesome at foreplay haha.

The second guy, I’ve slept with him several times before. He is decent at foreplay but once he is done he will be done. I guess he is too inexperienced with women to make me cum too. (Sorry for details)

I assume if he is a doctor he will be empathetic?

That’s not in any way a given.

I’d go for number 1, feel like I’m on Blind Date.

If you really need to ask the question then neither!

An older man who has never been in a relationship is a BIG red flag. He will be extremely set in his ways and find compromise difficult. Why would you assume him to be good marriage material? He hasn't yet found anyone he deems 'good enough' for him, which is very offputting.

You seem to have quite a calculated approach to finding love!

I would bin number 2 if he doesn't make the effort in bed. Agree that if you have to ask the answer is probably neither

Haha I know it’s very calculated but it’s because I’m trying to think with my brain and not my heart. My heart says number 1 but long term-wise I feel that number 2 would be a better and more suitable option as a mate! I feel like number 2 would be predictable, boring, trustworthy and stable.
Because I like number 1 so much I don’t now know if my emotions are getting the better of me... I wouldn’t like to be ghosted or to be another notch on his bed post. So far he seems to like me a lot, but obviously love/lust will cloud my reasoning. That’s why I put out the stats for you guys to help me decide!

Cilla Black always gave 3 options. I'd go with #3.

Just get to know 1 better and see if you like him.
2 is not going to run away , so if there really are only these two men in your part of the world, then you’ve not lost anything.

Guy number 2 is v set in his ways so he doesn’t really compromise. It’s mostly his way! He is a lot older so he seems to have been through it all and is wise enough to make good choices. He works for google and earns £150,000 a year. I feel like a child most of the time with him since he has been there and done that.

Oh God, do not under any circumstances marry guy 2. He is only earning that money because he has given his life to an IT company. I mean I know that as a dentist you are clearly only concerned with money - no one ever goes into dentistry because they love the job - but do not tie yourself to an old man who has never had a relationship. I say old as he is too old to have never had a relationship (I am older than him OP so not being ageist).

I don't know what he has been and done if he has never had a relationship ?

And no one should feel like a child at 32.

Try dating no1 for some fun. Leave No2 to find someone else. Hopefully you will either fall for no1 or you will meet Mr. Better Than These.

You shouldn't just settle is the best advice anyone could give to you.

no one ever goes into dentistry because they love the job

Is this a joke I’ve missed?

I’d give number 1 a chance.

I’d be very wary of a ‘set in his ways’ guy in his 40’s who’d never had a girlfriend!

None