Which man out of the two would you choose?

[Jayde87]

1. man number one:- intense sexual chemistry with him. He is 2.5 years older than me. Junior doctor earning around £35,000-40,000. Highly intelligent. Tall. Good looking. He asks me to go back to his place for drinks. We had a make-out session the other night. kissing etc. He was pretty passionate. He called me sexy and beautiful. Seems to like beer a bit too much though (drinks a pint nearly every day and asks me to drink as well). Not sure if I trust him completely with other women because he is so good at seducing me, but i could be v wrong. He has had 5 girlfriends and a few other relationships. Known him for a month so all very new. Not really sure of his personality but he seems very outgoing and likes to party.
2. Man number 2. Known for a year. Had same sort of chemistry as number 1 but this has died down. 11 years older than me. Not as attractive as 1 but is mature, kind, great listener, serious, very intelligent and would make a great supportive husband. Not got loads in common due to age gap but we have some hobbies in common. Never had a girlfriend due to not finding anyone he would like to date. He is quiet and has a few close friends. Doesn’t like to drink or party.

1

For now, probably not a keeper.

#3

Does no. 1 see himself as exclusive to you? It was my early experience that while ''holding off'' having sex, that person was making up for it with others.

No. 2 sounds like a Father/older brother figure (excluding the sex of course).

Early days of course with no. 1, but from what you have said so far, I don't think you have met your Man.

Ditch them both. Be open to meeting someone you can’t live without.

No. 1 is a player. All keen until he gets sex from you and then will fade away.

No. 2 I don't know. How do you actually feel about him? How does he feel about you? Are you wanting to settle down and have children?

I would say try out No. 1 if you want but don't expect much. No.2 maybe see him more and see if he is teachable in bed.

Then continue to date others.So keep both 1 and 2 but don't expect much from them and continue to date others.

Number 2.

Try to improve the sex. See what his response is if you make it clear you're not ok with not having one.

He is only earning that money because he has given his life to an IT company

Or it's just that tech pays well, no? I must be missing something here.

Yes I would like to settle down and maybe have kids. Number 2 wants to as well. He cares about me. I feel like he is a dad figure to me (I have an absent father).

Number 1, I don’t know what he wants to do but he said he has a close knit family and his parents have a happy marriage.

If #2 is boring, then don't choose him. I was with an older guy who was boring af and it did not work out between us, although the ages were different than you and he are.

I kind of think #1 is a bit of a wild guy and party-er and maybe he is not ideal either. Just saw someone say #1 is a fuck boy. Yes. This. So neither. :/

See what his response is if you make it clear you're not ok with not having one.

Sorry, one was referring to an orgasm .

Well when I ask him can he make me cum too, he has this look of wild panic in his eyes lol. Like you really want me to go down on you - ‘urgh’. And I’m a bit embarrassed anyway as well. I usually just take care of myself lol when I’m alone.

Oh god definitely not no 2 then! Life's too short for crap sex.

I still think no 1 sounds like a bit of a dick. Honestly, keep looking!

Both!

If you are asking this question you should not be exclusive at this stage in your life.

Pressed “send” too soon. I would not have sex with someone who would not go down on me.

Oral sex- giving and receiving- is bare minimum sex stuff. No way should anyone settle for a lack thereof.

No.1 Shag
No.2 Avoid
No.3 Marry. Find him (1&2 both sound dull)

Neither

No way jose to no.2.

No 1 sounds OK to date, but would also keep looking!

Neither.

Never go for someone due to the sexual chemistry. Eventually that will cool off and then what's left?

Number 2 guy sounds nice but just too different to you.

Ok if I can't say neither of them then number 1. The biggest red flag I saw berqeen to two men was at age 43 (my age) no. 2 has never held down a relationship.

No 1 sounds good fun, yes he may turn out to be bad one, but so could number 2, you don't know either of them in a relationship. I'd pick no. 1 but wouldn't rush into anything at all. Just have fun getting to know him and watch out for the usual pit falls. It seems a shame to rule him out just because he's a doctor, but having said that I'd never date anyone from the F1 realms again!!! Good luck

Number 2 should absolutely not be an option. Bad sex, bores you already (that doesn’t get better with time by the way), is a daddy figure (boak), hasn’t had a relationship. Just no.

Number 1 may or may not be empathetic. A lot of doctors really aren’t at all. 5 relationships at 35 sounds on the low side to me.

I don’t think there’s anything to suggest he’s a player. He hasn’t pressured you to sleep with him and your main concern is that you’re attracted to him so other women will be too. That’s more about your insecurities than him IMO.

Does the fact that your parents want you to date someone Chinese play into this? If so, discount that entirely. It’s your life and it’s short.

Have some fun with number 1.

Number 2 sounds odd. Never had a partner, that would be a no from me!!

Good luck!

My husband was what you would consider a 'player' until we started dating. We've been together 16 years and married for 11. 3 kids. He's my best friend and I trust him 110%.

I think you would be settling if you chose guy number 2 and would possibly regret it later. If you want to take a chance with number 1 I say go for it. If it doesn't work out you can look for guy 3.

Number 2 sounds pointless.

But you actually don't have to choose unless either thinks you are exclusive. I'd ditch number 2 and continue dating number 1 and others.

Dating is a discovery process. Let the person unfold, and you will find that they are either what you want, or they really aren't (number 2). Why put a limit on the numbers you date? That's like having a job vacancy and thinking you must pick one of the first two candidates who apply.

@ChristmasFluff - well put!