The next stage of my life WILL be better...

[Dumbledior]

New thread for me to moan...

your last sentence is really sad dior

I had a nice day today. Met two friends for coffee in the morning and then treated D to lunch. We had a nice chat and she has opened her own recruitment agency! I have offered to help her with any admin she might need doing. She said there would be a job for me if the company takes off in the future.

that sounds good!

Yes, I am quite happy tonight, but then h is out on the beers in London, with work colleagues. I am pottering around and have done some study tonight. I am going to work my way through all the Pitman courses and add them to my CV, so I have lots of current skills.

I am looking forward to not having to get up on Monday. 6 weeks of it - bliss! Ds and I are going to have a lovely break together.

i have to get up , mine dont finish until weds!

Sitting here in a living room that smells like a swamp, flooded on thursday.

Its not like some people have got it, with their belongings floating out the windowm but the carpet was soaked. I Vaxed it up and set the dehumidifier , but 48 hours later parts of the floor are still soaked.

And theres water coming in around one of the living room windows, and into DDs room.

I wouldnt mind so much but I dont want my insurance premiums to rocket when im going to be paying for tghem alone!

P was shaken up by what I told him about his charge on the house the other day, and finally realises hes got to see a solicitor. So thats just slowing everything down, just when i thought he could be out by the end of the month.

And I have to get up earlier than usual tomorrow, to take DD to Kids Club as its in the opposite direction to my work! (I wish she didnt finish til Wednesday!) And I went and booked work for Thursday, so she has to go there 4 days this week, when Id planned to only work three days.

P said he would have her next week as he is off, but hes made no arrangements, so it wouldnt surprise me if I end up having her some of the days.

SS . Where in the country are you? Hope you dry out soon...

H has been trying really hard to be nice and supportive. He has been reading my 'Men are from Mars...' book, that I left in the bathroom. He has taken some of it on board. That just makes it harder TBH, because it brings back some of the desire for it to continue. He has started kissing me goodbye again, and kissed me like he meant it yesterday. It makes me more confused, although, if I'm honest, the thought of more closeness with him is not appealing, apart from the actual act, which I am missing.

I know that his feelings towards my size are not going to change and he will never stop being controlling. I know that I need to make my mind up for once and for all. He makes it so hard though, because, when he is nice, it is pleasant being a family with him.

G has shown his true colours. Thinking about him now, I feel a bit of dislike . He is all lumped in with my changed feelings towards work and my boss. Plus, he did nothing to try to save D's job, and it seems that he actually made the decision easier for the boss to make. He made sure that his butt was covered to the detriment of D. I think I am just lucky that I don't work in the same part of the business as him.

pleasant? strange choice of wording for the man you are married to, dont you think? is pleasant enough, honestly?

as for g, i cant really see what he would do, if it was a choice between keeping your job or losing it , surely you would put yourself first?

it's sad for your friend, but i dont think he has behaved that badly, would you risk losing yours for her?

SS - so sorry about the flooding. It must be a ghastly experience. I was stuck in my library's car park for half an hour on Friday becuase it was raining too hard to get out! Not fun.

Dior, I do feel so sad for you and h - he's obviously scared, but what can you do? It seems unlikely that he'll change permanently - he hasn't before, and he still thinks your depression is at the root of all your troubles.

I've heard that it's fairly common for couples to get on better just before splitting - some even say they have the best sex of their relationship then, which is really sad! It's some sort of last hoorah before the end. (Didn't happen to me though! ) but exh and I were very kind to each other in the last weeks of our marriage.

You must be finding it very difficult to make that final split though, and I can understand. You've had a lot of years together. But you need to think very hard whether you really, really want another 20 years of the same.

And you CAN love someone else the way those women at the school love their partners. You sound like a very generous, giving person, you give and give and give, but you need someone who wants to give in return. They DO exist - And it's such a great feeling when you realise your love is reciprocated properly, by an equal, with no element of control. Wow, it's the best feeling there is!

Thanks Tann - wise words.

Lou - G did make things worse for D. He was supposed to be supporting her as her team leader. and he didn't. The boss had been talking about giving her some of his region, because she was dealing with jobs in Southend and Braintree, and he had Colchester. He mentioned it that morning, and then two hours later, got rid of her. I prefer to think of him as a self-serving arse, because then I can dislike him, which should stop the pangs of lust .

Sorry - Tanee - blooming typing!

lol, well if it works then carry on

Yeah! And not being there every day should help too. I am in on Wednesday, but I can cope with it. I find that the less I see him, the less I think about him.

How are you doing?

same as usual

hello osj, no change here, still trundling alon

OSJ - Please get in touch and tell me all the news...

OSJ - nice to chat to you earlier. Hope it goes ok tomorrow.

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Dior, was also good to chat to you today. Sorry you're feeling low still. IKWYM re shutting yourself away but having ds you have to make the effort and if you do I'm sure you'll enjoy it and you just never know when you might meet new people
Good luck tomorrow at work, thinking of you x

Lou, glad you are ok. Also trundling here ...

Hi Dior, I've been away for a while. Sorry to hear things aren't any better.
Hope the stronger ADs help a bit. Do you not work over the summer? That might help you see things a bit more clearly - and G sounds like he's a real arse.

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Poor you about tomorrow, that sounds horrible. I hope he keeps showing his arsehole colours though, as the splitting off of energy effect that your crush on him had didn't seem to be helping anything. It seemed like it gave you a little bit of something to take the edge of the misery of life with H, even though it was pretty miserable in itself. Hope that makes sense and isn't out of order of me?

I'm fine thanks, much better. Been away, finished work and college for the summer, so much more relaxed. And just as I'd begun to forget about that bloke, he got back in touch!

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