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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The next stage of my life WILL be better...

998 replies

Dumbledior · 15/07/2007 19:49

New thread for me to moan...

OP posts:
Dior · 02/08/2007 18:04

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sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 19:57

Hi Kipper and Dior, having a funny week as P and DD in France until tomorrow, so I have the house to myself.

Feels very strange - keep going to turn the tv volume down then remember there is no reason to keep quiet! Have managed to get a bit of Social life in to which has helped as I felt really down when they first left.

Kipper, have tried to get on MSN but it keeps "encountering pa problem" and closing itself down. PITA. I have a laptop lined up for when P leaves so am hoping that might be able to cope with running more than one programme at a time. Its annoying when you think youre being watched on MN, isnt it? We need somewhere to be able to speak freely.

Dior, I expect youre at relate around now, so hope its going well. Please remember its not your weight thats putting him off - he might think that because he's trying to rationalise it, but you didnt go up 3 clothes sizes overnight, so he would have had tiome to adjust.

Im trying to do the Paul mckenna system seriously now, although Im still using slimfast as its quick and easy to take to work. But Idecided I have to stop eating large bars of white chocolate and whole bags of kettle chips at a sitting. The Paul Mckenna thing has cds that teach you craving busters and how to overcome emotional eating, so I thought it had to be worth a go.

I tried to imagine kettle chips mixed with snails, one of the few things I just could never bring myself to eat! So we will see.

Tanee, hope youre ok as well - has DP gone back to Norfolk?

Dior · 02/08/2007 22:44

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sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 22:48

Does he mean call it a day with the relate, or with you?

Dior · 02/08/2007 22:49

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Dior · 02/08/2007 22:50

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sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 22:53

Counsellor sounds very sensible to me. But I can see why H doesnt like it.

I would be surprised if your losing weight made any difference - if you do it you do it for you, as he will just find another excuse.

Dior · 02/08/2007 23:00

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sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 23:04

Its such a shame he wont see a doctor for himself. It really sounds as if he has some issues - whether with impotence, his opinion of his prowess or whatever - its not fair to blame it on you all the time.

Ps sexual self esteem was so fragile I had to so careful not to offend him.

I said no to his advances once (thats once in 21 years!) because I thought i had thrush - he wouldnt come near me for months.

sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 23:05

And family time together is nice - but its also nice with your girl friends and their kids. There should be more to a marriage.

Dior · 02/08/2007 23:06

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Dior · 02/08/2007 23:10

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sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 23:11

Funny that.

In some ways they are admitting that we are the stronger sex arent they? They do expect us to be able to do everything.

Have you seen the thread about the H who plays sport all week? It makes me mad that there are so many men just assuming that their wives and partners will stay responsible while they gad about.

Some of Ps family were staying with uis a while ago, and they wanted to take us out for a meal. I dont like drinking anything if i have to drive, so i suggested P drive. He shouted like a sulky child, in the end his brother said he would drive. I felt so cross, but i thought - no, this is your family, you ought to be able to behave in an adult manner around them.

sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 23:12

Sorry, cross posted.

Do you think he probably knows, but not wanting to talk about it, is hoping that you might just forget about it?

Dior · 02/08/2007 23:20

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sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 23:20

Im off to bed now, as no doubt when P and DD get back tomorrow he will expect to go to bed and for me to deal with DD, washing etc.

Try not to feel too down about it all.

Dior · 02/08/2007 23:21

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sallysparrow · 02/08/2007 23:22

oops, another xcross post!

If you continue with the relate, Im sure the counsellor would be able to help you through a separation.

No doubt H will sense that coming, and start to make more and more excuses not to go.

Dior · 02/08/2007 23:23

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HappyDaddy · 02/08/2007 23:26

Dior, I have followed your story without wanting to butt in or pry.

I think you're such a strong person, who deserves a happy life. I wish you all the best.

Dior · 02/08/2007 23:27

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Dior · 02/08/2007 23:28

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HappyDaddy · 02/08/2007 23:29

Don't say that. You are strong because you've tried to work it out over and over again, just because he's given up you never have.

HappyDaddy · 02/08/2007 23:31

Thank you for your kind post on my other thread, also.

On a lighter note, I might start a support group, "Kick him in the cock" for women who are with selfish arseholes. What do you think?

Dior · 02/08/2007 23:32

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