Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread 155 - Spring lovin'

999 replies

supercali77 · 16/04/2019 05:52

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

OP posts:
putastrawunderbaby · 18/04/2019 19:38

Thank you lily and sunshine. We only went on one date, it was never going to be romantic, but we spoke every day, often several times, for 10 months and I knew so much about him. He was a one off. He had bipolar disorder but he gave no clue that he was going to end things when he did. He seemed so happy and optimistic.

LilyRose88 · 18/04/2019 19:45

That is very sad. A friend of mine who had bipolar disorder ended his life 2 years ago. His wife is still devastated. The sad thing is that we met when we were Samaritans volunteers. I knew that he had depression but didn't realise the extent of it.

lifegoes · 18/04/2019 19:48

@LilyRose88 my gut is saying he's obviously distracted with other women 90mins after reading a text he replies. But was online the majority of the time. This is throwing doubt in my mind.

I do know he can still be texting and dating other women we haven't even had our date yet. But I still want him to make an effort and at least let me know he's interested.

LilyRose88 · 18/04/2019 19:52

lifegoes some people have very different texting habits. It is easy to over analyse and obsess about replies. I do the same, especially on WhatsApp. He may actually be chatting to friends on group chats or his family. It doesn't have to be other women that he is talking to.

lifegoes · 18/04/2019 19:55

@LilyRose88 I know. This is why I think I'm having a wobble. This is my second date since my awful ex (first date I've actually liked him) my ex was always online and did the same habits. Turned out he was a lying cheat.

I've not even thought about it until yesterday with him. So I think it's me looking for something to go wrong before the date

Bluezoo123 · 18/04/2019 20:01

Just wanted to say congratulations
shit - I know what you mean about it being bittersweet. Like you, I found myself a 30 year old divorcee xx

LilyRose88 · 18/04/2019 20:06

lifegoes after a bad experience it is natural to worry that others have similar habits. And he may well have, but equally there may be an innocent explanation. Can you distract yourself this evening maybe with a good programme on Netflix or iPlayer? If you are anything like me then wine may not be your friend tonight Smile.

lifegoes · 18/04/2019 20:09

Definitely not touching the wine, that will give me the courage to actually ask him out right 🙈 @LilyRose88 I've got a film to watch tonight

LilyRose88 · 18/04/2019 20:12

lifegoes that's good.

lifegoes · 18/04/2019 20:13

Thank you @LilyRose88

StealthNinjaMum · 18/04/2019 20:15

putastrawunderbaby sorry it's a sad day I don't really have adequate words for you Flowers

putastrawunderbaby · 18/04/2019 20:22

stealth those words are enough, and very much appreciated, thank you.

midcenturylegs · 18/04/2019 20:59

Still more catching up to do on the thread, but @putastraw, sorry - I really feel for you x

kerkyra · 18/04/2019 21:04

put i'm so sorry about your sad news. sending a hug x

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 18/04/2019 21:17

Not read update but mandatory loo update.

Mr local - having fun, nice guy, interesting no fanny gallops

LilyRose88 · 18/04/2019 21:19

Marlboro do you think it might be a slow burn or is there no chance of any chemistry? At least you are having a nice time.

DancingWithWillard · 18/04/2019 21:33

putastraw I'm so sorry about your friend. What a horrible shock. Please be kind to yourself.
kerkyra I can only speak personally but the potato bit for me is usually the awful angle they use for the photos which obliterated any face shape, and gives a great view up the nose.

crackofdoom · 18/04/2019 21:55

Hello again folks. By gum, this thread moves fast!

So, where was I....? I did some massive emotional blartposting about meeting the actually most amazing and wonderful man in the world about 10 days ago. And you told me all to at least bloody message him. And so I did. And he replied with "Hello!". And I rather tersely informed him I was expecting a proper answer, actually. And lo, there was silence......

And I've been having a busy old time, and plenty of fun, and went to London,and even met a nice man in actual RL Shock,and went and had a drink with him, and we got on, and have been texting since, and if he didn't live 400 miles away from me, I'm sure that one would be looking quite hopeful.....Hmm

And I'd just picked up my phone to put myself back on Bumble, when this first chap, who I suppose now merits at least a name, so I will call him Dr Headfuck , messages me, apologising for his silence and asking if I'd like to meet again.

God. I'd been doing Being a Big Girl, Moving Right On, and Not Thinking About It, Oh No No No......so well.......(whimpers).

I haven't answered him yet, obviously. Having a slight bet with myself about how long it'll take to cave in.

I think going back on Bumble might be a very good idea for my sanity right now.

kerkyra · 18/04/2019 21:56

That was enough to put me off a baked spud!

crackofdoom · 18/04/2019 22:03

Yeah, I've been known to refer to the PoF landing page as a "wall of King Edward potatoes" before.....Grin

kerkyra · 18/04/2019 22:29

I really don't know how we all do it,i mean we get knocked back and get mucked around and we still stay positive.

I'm meeting new pof man on sunday and he seems lovely. He's an electrician so will call him mr spark. My kids are getting older and i'm really beginning to want a proper boyfriend,not the idiots I usually go for where i'm feeling anxious. I'm hoping for a spark or at least a glimmer of something on sunday. He's already said he will mend things for me and can I take him up to the blues! He has had two long relationships and no dates except one last year. And theres me on about number 40!

Peanuthedz · 18/04/2019 22:36

@kerkyra I think it's called hope.

kerkyra · 18/04/2019 22:37

Are you back Marlboro ? Was there enough there that you'd see him again?
How are you lifegoes

lifegoes · 18/04/2019 22:47

I'm ok @kerkyra he's gone "out" tonight randomly. In other words a date.

vwman · 18/04/2019 22:48

@30somethingandsingle years ago in the very early days of internet dating when it was so, so, so dodgy that NO ONE wanted to admit that they met on a dating site I met a women who was a bit of a jetsetter. I knew she was dating and having sex with other men, but when she went to work in America for two months I chased her half way around the world to be with her for a week. After which time things changed and she chose me. Why? because she knew that I would go out of my way for her, and for me I wanted to be part of her life. We ended up having a great life travelling around the world for years. The point being that a man will chase if he wants to be a part of the life that you have created for yourself. So rather than wait on him, create a fun filled busy life for yourself and tell him what you have done, if he wants to be a part of it he will chase. So go out with the girls if he has not arranged a date, arrange to go to the beach, on a picnic, the cinema etc with your kids. Ultimately, men chase quality women, be that woman with an exciting life, and if he doesn't he is not the right man for you.