Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

PS there's never really any drama either. Very occasionally I do a "god I hate him" rant but that's normally to friends not whoever I'm dating. I'm sure he does the same to his gf. I never really speak about him to anyone I'm dating. There's no drama because we keep it that way.

What I'm trying to say is it's different for everyone.

@Peanuthedz yes that’s the one. He didn’t come home with me, just met me at the airport and carried my case to my car, big snogs etc and then we went our separate ways! Too weird.

Peanut it’s great that you can do that and I do understand that a lot of parents do but it’s just something I don’t want to be involved with which is why I prefer to date people without children or grown up kids. I have done this all before with ex husband and his kids (and ex), my kids are now teenagers and I only see him when I hand them over, I like it that way and I don’t want to do it all again with someone else and their ex. I want a easy life 😁

I have just messaged someone on POF, I rarely message first but was feeling brave.

shitwith he sounds awesome!

sidge so is it back on with mr mystery?

Quick update - I'm not quite home yet...

He was absolutely lovely and we had great evening. Much wine was consumed (1 bottle me, 2 bottles him), which unfortunately led to a failure to "rise to the occasion" which left him mortified. I of course told him not to worry and we had nice kisses and cuddles all night- my goodness I don't think he let me out of his arms all night, it was amazing and just what I needed after my recent fuck and chuck experiences. So, I figured it would be OK and we'd try again this morning - same thing but no alcohol to blame, now I'm thinking it's me ☹.

He says it's never happened before - he's 39, fit and healthy and has no reason to lie, but he says he's been so nervous about meeting me. He's messaged me saying how embarrassed and sorry he is and hopes we can meet again with less alcohol involved. I'd love to meet him again, but his working hours are crazy and he lives an hour away. Sorry, just thinking out loud, I'm 60/40 thinking I'll meet him once more so I don't have that "what if" feeling and I can put it to bed either way.

This whole working away thing is why they are single and they just don’t get it. I’ve bern through it a lot and had to spell it out if you want a woman and a family you need to change jobs, they don’t, the relationship ends. Twice that’s happened to me

Mr village txt back to say he would have liked that but is taking dc to sporting things today and he was sorry.
I really don't want to be chasing so just sent a that's cool and have fun message. I'm not sure what we are,if anything,i suppose he has to sort his shit his end and i'm just a distraction at the mo.

Oh dear jesuis, poor bloke. If you meet him again though there is going to be even more pressure for him to perform! Do you see long term potential,so can have a few dates out of the house?! Not sure what to say but it def isn't you

I'm good @ItsAMiracle2015 I've not blocked him but he was messaging last night and I ignored. I'm going to reply today now my head is in a good place to explain I won't tolerate his rudeness and therefore I'm out.

@JeSuisPrest Ive been dying to hear what happened on your date, not ideal with him but still sounds a decent evening I would def give him another chance.

@Inliverpool1 it's awful when you get lied to so much, that you automatically assume everyone after is lying. But he seems to have tried to reassure you he's telling the truth. He didn't need to send pictures etc.

I'm trying to get through the thread so sorry for missing anyone out.

@Ant330 ha ha. Details ASAP

@shitwithsugaron I like the randomness of that. When are you seeing him?

@kerkyra you asked, let him arrange the next date.

@LilyRose88 what is the update from you on your sexy night at his?

Is it strange that a 45year old man would follow a high volume of 18-21 year old girls on Instagram and like all their pictures. (Not his daughter)

@lifegoes yes I think it's creepy. Does he know them personally?

@Eesha I'm not 100% but there is a lot and all from his area.

Lifegoes- you didn’t even need to ask that lol. More than strange

@lifegoes I remember my step daughters got lots of likes from men who knew their mum. It didn't sit well with me.

@ccgirr 😂😂 I know! It's very very creepy. I'm wondering if he sleeps with them!

@Eesha yeah that's worse, if he knows their parents but liking their daughters pictures.

JeSuis That’s a shame but hopefully it was a combination of nerves and alcohol and next time you/he might be a little more relaxed. I’d give him another chance as he must be feeling pretty mortified.
MrSAS has the opposite issue and doesn’t ever seem to not have an erection
He’s made it clear what’s on the cards next weekend when I go to his so at least I don’t have to worry about what clothes to pick as I don’t think i’ll be wearing many

Well I ended up getting a message back and a chat ensued - if you can call it that. It was bloody hard work. Two line responses and no questions asked - why would you even bother?? I logged out after I had made a comment about swearing being one of life’s pleasures and he responded “Each to their own”.

I give up. Thank goodness GOT starts tomorrow.

Am struggling to keep up with everyone but sounds like success is being had by most. Jealous.

panama sounds like pulling teeth. I have had a few like that and I’ve gievwn up too. Chatting with someone shouldn’t be hard work and it should always be a bit of give and take with questions.

@marlboroandmalbec34 I have no bloody idea. Well technically not as I’d finished it because he doesn’t want what I want but then he’s waiting at our regional airport in the middle of the night for my delayed flight, as he wanted to see me so who the fuck knows what’s going on?!

@JeSuisPrest two bottles of wine? Crikey, no wonder he couldn’t make wood, that’s a lot of booze (and I like a drink!). And then I expect this morning was performance anxiety added into the mix, as well as probably still being pissed to be honest.

If you like him I’d give it another chance and see if he can rise to the occasion.

Fab swingers question. Does your location change like Tinder or stay the same like POF?

I'm getting a lot of messages from men who appear to be miles away. My profile is very clear that I'm looking for a local FWB. So any that have a local too far away I'm just deleting without reading.

Then I thought maybe I'm being too hasty and they might be local but away for work etc.

Longer update then but without too many details
After our difficult chat in the week we had a good conversation about it last night and although we both admitted we'd considered knocking it on the head because it shouldn't be hard work after 4 dates, I think it's massively cleared the air and taken any pressure off.
We got drunk together which did me good as I relaxed far more than I have previously. So she got to see me not on my best behaviour and we got on really well. Also went to her local pub where I met a few of her friends, which I think was quite a big step for her, and then went back to her house.
I was a perfect gent, because she'd said she wasn't ready before, until she offered me a tour of the house. Definitely compatible in the bedroom, and I think the very vanilla sex life I had with my ex might be getting spiced up a bit in the future
Big grin on my face today! She's staying at mine on Weds after we go out, and then we're out again on Sat.
She goes on holiday for 10 days on Sunday, so we've both said that will prove if there's something there. If it fizzles out so be it, although she did warn me that if I go out on a load of dates while she's away she will cut my balls off lol.
I think she's a bit cautious about me as I only seperated in Oct and she's one of my first OLD experiences, but both happy to see where it goes.
Need to catch up on a few pages of the thread now.

@Ant330 that sounds really positive. I'm so pleased you cleared the air and had a good night. The two next dates planned already is a good sign and any woman who says that, Is def invested in you. Very positive. Happy for you

This thread moves fast! Back from my second overnighter with Mr BC. I'm definitely on the smitten bench! I feel like I've known him forever. And love sleeping folded into his arms ...

Right, that's enough of that soppy shit 😂 forgive me if I get names muddled, I didn't get much sleep ... Ant tell us more! Sidge that's quite romantic ... Sunshine take the toy, it's fun to play together

JeSuis I'd give him another chance - that's a lot of wine! And he is in awe of your awesomeness, clearly.

MyOld if you're accessing it on your mobile then it does ...

Lifegoes ewww yuck!

panama that sounds very dull ...

Shit glad it's going well with Mr Bookworm

Ant that sounds good - particularly the future date planning.