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Original poster

Would you date a smoker?

155 replies

Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:42

I am not judging. We all have our vices. I eat far too much, and of the wrong foods, for example.
But ...
I had a coffee date yesterday with a man from the dating site. It went reasonably well, and I was in two minds about whether I wanted to see him again. However he messaged to say that he'd left his scarf at the pub where we met, and as it's round the corner from where I live, I offered to pick it up for him.
Thing is, it is absolutely reeking of smoke, and is stinking out my flat I will have to put it on the washing line outside, but hopefully it won't rain as it's lambswool. I sent him a semi-jokey message asking if it would be fair to assume he's a smoker Grin, and he replied that he was.
My settings on the site were set to 'non smoker' but when I checked his profile tonight, he's a social/occasional smoker. I must have missed that!
I'd rather his 'thing' was drinking, as he only ever has an occasional whisky. No sharing a bottle of wine over dinner for us! Confused
So, would you date someone who smoked?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 08/04/2019 20:43

No.

Hangingtrousers · 08/04/2019 20:44

No def not.

Original poster
Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:45

I always thought the same of myself, but the occasional/social thing doesn't seem quite so bad. Unless they happen to socialise a lot Grin

OP posts:
Oldmotherhubbardlivesinashoe · 08/04/2019 20:45

No I wouldn't.

CoffeeConnoisseur · 08/04/2019 20:45

Nope. Grim.

And he's not an occasional/social smoker.

Wadingthroughshit · 08/04/2019 20:46

Not for me, but you don't need any one else's permission to have that as your boundary. You don't like it, so dont, that's okay.

Original poster
Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:46

I don't think I can. I wasn't quite sure in the first place, but the smelly scarf may have sealed the deal Sad

OP posts:
NameChangeNugget · 08/04/2019 20:47

No.

madcatladyforever · 08/04/2019 20:48

Never they absolutely stink. There is someone I really like but it's just not happening as he is a heavy smoker and I have to wash everything I'm wearing when I leave his house.

Original poster
Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:48

No-one else's permission was sought. I was just interested in how others view smoking, and if they personally considered it a deal breaker.

OP posts:
CoffeeConnoisseur · 08/04/2019 20:48

My FIL has described himself as a social smoker on his dating profile (I know this as DH helped him set it up) and in reality he smokes like a chimney.

He's also described himself as into walking, implying that he's rambling miles across the Lake District every weekend or something, when in fact - to the pub is about as far as he gets.

Hiddenaspie1973 · 08/04/2019 20:49

No.
My first bf was a smoker.
Wouldn't do that again.

Original poster
Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:49

It had also come as a surprise, as he didn't smell of it when we met. Then it was pretty obvious the second I picked up the scarf.

OP posts:
Cherrysherbet · 08/04/2019 20:50

Eww nope.

JaneEyre07 · 08/04/2019 20:52

No way. It's the most disgusting smell, and frankly anyone choosing to spend a fortune putting toxic cancer-causing chemicals into their body isn't the brightest bulb in the box.

It's a really revolting habit.

Rhubarbisevil · 08/04/2019 20:52

I would if he was KEANU REEVES.

fleshmarketclose · 08/04/2019 20:53

No I couldn't it's a pet hate of mine.

1633tonow · 08/04/2019 20:54

Nope

QueenBeex · 08/04/2019 20:54

I don't smoke, and have no urge to do so either. However I am engaged to someone who smokes around 12 a day.

NeverHadANickname · 08/04/2019 20:55

No definitely not and it has been a factor I took into account when talking to people.

Crustaceans · 08/04/2019 20:56

He may have been wearing the scarf while smoking outside all winter, so it might be extremely stinky.

I wouldn’t date a smoker. I wouldn’t even consider it.

SingleMumFighting · 08/04/2019 20:56

No

EdWinchester · 08/04/2019 20:57

Eww no. Disgusting.

Original poster
Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:57

He is highly intelligent. A doctor, lecturing at one of the country's best universities. He is Lebanese, and they have a big culture of smoking I believe.
But yes, as far as habits go, it's not the best.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:58

He just messaged to say that he was cold without it this morning. I feel like saying I'd like to return it bloody pronto!

OP posts: