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Original poster

Would you date a smoker?

155 replies

Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:42

I am not judging. We all have our vices. I eat far too much, and of the wrong foods, for example.
But ...
I had a coffee date yesterday with a man from the dating site. It went reasonably well, and I was in two minds about whether I wanted to see him again. However he messaged to say that he'd left his scarf at the pub where we met, and as it's round the corner from where I live, I offered to pick it up for him.
Thing is, it is absolutely reeking of smoke, and is stinking out my flat I will have to put it on the washing line outside, but hopefully it won't rain as it's lambswool. I sent him a semi-jokey message asking if it would be fair to assume he's a smoker Grin, and he replied that he was.
My settings on the site were set to 'non smoker' but when I checked his profile tonight, he's a social/occasional smoker. I must have missed that!
I'd rather his 'thing' was drinking, as he only ever has an occasional whisky. No sharing a bottle of wine over dinner for us! Confused
So, would you date someone who smoked?

OP posts:
Fireandflames666 · 09/04/2019 12:25

For me it's the smell, the nasty nicotine stains and the massive waste of money.

Original poster
Dieu · 09/04/2019 12:30

He's the first smoker I've been out with ... and trust me, I have been on a lot of dates! Grin So it's good to know that the habit must be on the decline.

As I said, I didn't catch a smoky smell from him as such. But it must linger on clothes, and I wouldn't be able to handle that being in my flat, if the scarf is anything to go by.

OP posts:
morewashingtodooo · 09/04/2019 12:31

I'm a smoker but still had the smell of others. And social is code word for more than I like to admit.

FermatsTheorem · 09/04/2019 12:33

No.

AwdBovril · 09/04/2019 12:34

No, absolutely not. Even if he was Keanu Reeves.

EdWinchester · 09/04/2019 13:33

Getting a smoker’s breath in your face is foul enough, so I can’t imagine kissing one. No matter how great a person he was.

Chamomileteaplease · 09/04/2019 14:05

I agree with others - the likelihood of those people who say they only smoke occasionally telling the truth, is pretty low.

AnnabelleLecter · 09/04/2019 14:10

Yes. But a few thin roll ups or social smoker as opposed to a heavy chain smoker.

gorbashthecat · 09/04/2019 14:13

Nope, too stinky.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 09/04/2019 14:14

In hindsight no. DH was a smoker and I spent most of our marriage trying to get him to quit. He tried but failed many times then was diagnosed with lung cancer and quit. He never relapsed but it was too late and he had a difficult and painful death. I am not planning on dating again ever, but would never even consider a smoker if I was.

However having said that if I had applied that principle 20 years ago I would have missed out on life with the best human being I have ever met.

Original poster
Dieu · 09/04/2019 18:09

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners

I am so very sorry for your loss Flowers

OP posts:
Lllot5 · 09/04/2019 18:16

Not for me no. And surely he must be quite heavy smoker if his scarf stinks that bad.

lillymunster · 09/04/2019 18:18

Having been a heavy smoker who now Vapes, I feel hypocritical saying no, but now I'm aware of the smell, I find it very unpleasant. Vaping might still be bad for you, but it doesn't smell horrible like stale smoke, so even if I didn't vape, someone else doing wouldn't really bother me

IC4nSeeYourPixels · 09/04/2019 18:43

Not for me no. And surely he must be quite heavy smoker if his scarf stinks that bad.

Not necessarily. If it's round his neck when he is smoking most of stick will be blown into his scarf and will stink.

It'll smell worse to a non smoker too as a smoker gets used to stink.

I've stood next to smokers outside and my own clothes stink.

MollysLips · 09/04/2019 18:45

I smoked for years and it never seemed to put anyone off me (most of my boyfriends didn't smoke). But I wouldn't date a smoker now. I still love don't mind the smell, but I can't stand the weird gurgley chest noises that long-term smokers develop. It's just revolting.

MIA12 · 09/04/2019 19:58

I’ve never smoked (and never would) but have dated a couple of smokers. Currently dating someone who smokes roll ups but he genuinely doesn’t smell of smoke and neither does his house or car. Obviously I would prefer that he didn’t but I’m glad I didn’t rule him out because of it.

finallyfound · 09/04/2019 20:06

No. It stinks.

DBML · 09/04/2019 20:11

No

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 09/04/2019 20:11

Probably not now as I am so proud of myself for having given up I could never ever put myself right back in the line of temptation.

Plus I really do smell it on people now, a cliché I know.

I would also never ever enter a relationship thinking I could iron out the bits of the other person that I didn’t like.

His choice is to smoke. Your choice is to date him or not.

If you do drop him though - be honest why. Getting dumped for being a smoker in my early 20s was a real ego slam and I can confidently say it started my “journey to quit” even though it took me a decade to get there.

Londongirl888 · 09/04/2019 20:23

Am afraid not. The smell is bad let alone the health implications. 

rumred · 09/04/2019 20:26

I think alcohol is more damaging, in excess. Judge him by his actions

Lllot5 · 09/04/2019 20:40

I wouldn’t go out with a smoker or someone who drank to excess either.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 09/04/2019 21:52

No, nor a big drinker either. Don't like either.

BadLad · 10/04/2019 11:14

No way. I can't think of anything except being a druggie more likely to put me off.

Wouldn't date a vegetarian or a non-drinker either, because meat and booze are great pleasures (to me) and I want to enjoy them with my partner.

IvanaPee · 10/04/2019 11:17

No. I don’t care if it makes me judgey. Smoking is absolutely vile. It makes the smoker stink to high heaven and their breath makes me gag.

I can’t believe people still smoke 🤮🤮🤮