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Original poster

Would you date a smoker?

155 replies

Dieu · 08/04/2019 20:42

I am not judging. We all have our vices. I eat far too much, and of the wrong foods, for example.
But ...
I had a coffee date yesterday with a man from the dating site. It went reasonably well, and I was in two minds about whether I wanted to see him again. However he messaged to say that he'd left his scarf at the pub where we met, and as it's round the corner from where I live, I offered to pick it up for him.
Thing is, it is absolutely reeking of smoke, and is stinking out my flat I will have to put it on the washing line outside, but hopefully it won't rain as it's lambswool. I sent him a semi-jokey message asking if it would be fair to assume he's a smoker Grin, and he replied that he was.
My settings on the site were set to 'non smoker' but when I checked his profile tonight, he's a social/occasional smoker. I must have missed that!
I'd rather his 'thing' was drinking, as he only ever has an occasional whisky. No sharing a bottle of wine over dinner for us! Confused
So, would you date someone who smoked?

OP posts:
Jsmith99 · 08/04/2019 21:40

I’m an ex-smoker and I definitely wouldn’t date a smoker as the temptation to start again would be too strong. After a couple of beers, I would crumble and ask for one, so it just isn’t worth the risk.

Magnoliamagic · 08/04/2019 21:50

I don't smoke and hate the smell but my partner of a year smokes. He never smoked at my place and or even in pride his own house!
I have to say I don't smell it too much on him, unless he has literally just had one. He smoke roll ups...?
I don't like that he smokes and I try not to nag about it but I am crazy about him and after my ex husband and his antics, I kind of think that if that's all I have to contend with an am alucky girl

userxx · 08/04/2019 21:56

I'm an ex smoker and couldn't be with a smoker. It's not a temptation thing, it literally makes me gag.

ShabbyAbby · 08/04/2019 22:02

I probably would but really, really shouldn't.
I'm a barely reformed ex smoker who has struggled to quit for years and the only reason I've stopped now is because I am single and pregnant. I can't have smoking in the house. Or within about 100 meters of me if I've had so much as half a glass of vino, a cup of coffee or a bad day!

I have had 2 abusive relationships in a row both with ex addicts who were compulsive cigarette smokers and pathological liars. I think maybe cigarette smoking should be a red flag for me 🤷🏻‍♀️ especially as I'm perfectly able to quit (and for fairly long periods) so long as temptation is not put in my way.

Although smoking kills I think another abusive relationship would see me off sooner. Neither would be timely nor glamorous.

I intend to either die in the pursuit of an exercise/travel goal of some kind (climbing a mountain, white water rafting, swimming with sharks) or in my sleep when I am very very very old

LightDrizzle · 08/04/2019 22:07

No.

Gillian1980 · 08/04/2019 22:08

No, I wouldn’t.

I grew up in a house of smokers and then all my shared houses as an adult were with smokers and all my previous boyfriends were smokers too.

DH is my first non-smoking partner and our house is the first non-smoking house I’ve ever lived in.

No way on earth I’d go back now, the smell of smoke makes me feel sick.

fromthefloorboardsup · 08/04/2019 22:09

I'd always have said no, but now I'm totally in love with a smoker. I hate that he smokes and I hate the smell and wish he'd quit but it doesn't mean I don't still adore him. Agree with PPs that it's up to you whether it's a deal breaker for you.

EmmaC78 · 08/04/2019 22:10

No, it is one of the few things I would not compromise on.

IdaThoughtso · 08/04/2019 22:10

Ewwww no, it's so grim and unattractive!

Loopytiles · 08/04/2019 22:13

I would if he was gorgeous and nice!

Megabeth · 08/04/2019 23:02

I'm an ex smoker currently dating a smoker. He doesn't smoke in his house. I have no problem with it.

HunnyCaramel · 08/04/2019 23:03

No.

Nanalisa60 · 08/04/2019 23:08

No !! I could never kiss someone who smokes as I just hate the smell and the taste of cigarettes 🚬 so there would be no point of starting a relationship with a smoker.

CanuckBC · 09/04/2019 02:50

No, I am allergic, have asthma and both of my kids have asthma. Not worth it.

Boopeedoop · 09/04/2019 05:31

Not even if you paid me

category12 · 09/04/2019 05:42

My ex is a smoker who's been "trying to give up" for years. I couldn't be arsed with another one. Maybe an unrepentant one with no intention of stopping, but then I don't want to end up caring for someone with smoking related diseases, like I've watched family go through.

Overall, I would prefer a non-smoker.

FixTheBone · 09/04/2019 06:09

Nope, nor somebody who vaped.

SnuggyBuggy · 09/04/2019 06:15

No, I really don't like the smell

Mememeplease · 09/04/2019 06:15

No thats one subset of men I always avoided in the past.

NW2SW · 09/04/2019 06:19

No, and not for a judgy reason - just personally makes me ill being around the smoke and smell.

I wouldn't date a vaper either, but that is me judging. They look ridiculous, and I can't stand the holier than thou attitude some vapers have, like its a ruddy health kick Hmm

sighrollseyes · 09/04/2019 06:23

No! And he can't be that intelligent if he smokes - the evidence base around smoking and negative health outcomes is solid!

purplepears · 09/04/2019 06:25

No. Gross breath.
Hate going on a night out with smokers. You do your hair and wear nice clothes and come home stinking of cigarette smoke. Have to shower and wash hair, put clothes in the washer, before you can get into bed.

sofato5miles · 09/04/2019 06:26

Smoking is definitely not a deal breaker for me. But then I know a few smokers, but they smoke outside only, even at their homes.

I find it interesting how smoking has become so vilified so quickly. It doesn't bother me at all.

Saying that, a potential boyfriend would have to understand that it is never to take place indoors.

Subeccoo · 09/04/2019 06:47

No def not. My husband and I both smoked 6 years ago when we got together, he gave up after 3 years, me only a year ago. I don't know how he could bare me smoking after that.

Our (older, not together) kids laugh if there's any pics of us smoking kicking around, has changed our lives.

I'd never date a smoker now if I ever were to date again.

cliquewhyohwhy · 09/04/2019 06:50

I don't smoke but wouldn't bother me if someone I dated smoked.