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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am Onit, hear me ROAR. Thread 5!

459 replies

onitlikeacarbonnet · 27/03/2019 12:36

“I am not afraid of the storms for I am learning to sail my ship” Louisa May Alcott.

I was looking for something to call this thread and came across this quote.
It’s not entirely true; yet, but almost 3 years and 5 threads later, I actually almost believe I can do this.

But I still like the last thread title as it still feels fitting.
I’ll save the LMA quote for the next one.

Here’s a link to the last thread.
Hope you all find me, my amazing friends Star

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3211292-I-am-onit-hear-me-ROAR-occasionally

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 08/04/2020 22:25

I also don't understand why children, super spreaders, are allowed to move between families. In a split family that is potentially four sets that could be infected.

Mix56 · 10/04/2020 10:18

Boring sounds great Onit, compared to moments in time when you were in physical & mental agony, miserable, broke, hurting, depressed & desperate.
I'd sign for Boring !
So glad you interrupted the pathetic sobbing incident, Prick.
Enjoy the quiet, (well other than the hoover !) they will be back soon !

thatcarolebaskinbitch · 01/06/2020 13:49

Hope you are still well Onit Thanks

stormsurfer · 07/06/2020 12:46

How are you doing onit?

Apileofballyhoo · 18/06/2020 17:47

I was thinking of you today, onit. I hope you and the DC are well. Does your back still bother you?

SunshineCake · 16/09/2020 19:24

I was thinking of you and your children to today *@onitlikeacarbonnet. How are you ?

rayoflightboy · 16/09/2020 21:58

Was only thinks Ng of you @onitlikeacarbonnet hope you are well.

onitlikeacarbonnet · 16/09/2020 22:51

Hi all
Hope you’re all doing ok.
Keeping on, keeping on has been my mantra but it’s been a long ass summer. Hardly stopped for breath.
Was furloughed till school went back in August and, now I’m back at work, I’m just waiting to find out if I’m going to be made redundant after the company’s announcement a couple of weeks ago. Should know in the next few weeks if I’m one of the unlucky thousands.

Myself and the dc have done ok for the most part. 10 days after school went back my dd caught a cold. Off school and work. But it was just a cold. Over the next few days I developed a dry cough, slight temp and a freak out. But my test was negative. I’ve struggled mentally though. When the dc went to their dads for a long weekend at the end of July I had a mini meltdown. Told him I had a tummy bug and he’d need to keep the dc for another couple of days. I just wanted to run away. I know I’m not the only one who felt like that. It’s creeping up on me again. But I’m hoping that, because I can see the October hols, I’ll last.
Stay safe x

OP posts:
Mygirlsareeverything · 17/09/2020 10:29

Thanks for your update onit. I often think of you and how your getting on.

I’ve name changed since your last post.

That’s it onit. Bite sized chunks. I’m not planning anything ahead of October half term. Just want to get to that point first.

Stay well and remain positive, you can do this.

x

SunshineCake · 17/09/2020 13:41

I'm pleased to see you told your children's father he would have to do extra parenting and as you haven't said otherwise it appears he did. Never feel bad about him having the dc longer than planned. Lie about why if you have to.

I hope you keep your job and that things are still going well with your partner.

Take care.

Mix56 · 30/09/2020 11:54

Hi Onit, missed your update.
Sorry to hear you have gad a smsll burn out. It has been so relentless with Covid, & obviously with you job on the line.
You need as many "breaks" as you ca get. KOKO

ASimpleLampoon · 30/10/2020 05:26

Hi Onit. lovely to see your update. I can relate! Also burning out and so very fed up. in Wales and in Lockdown again during a rainy half term hoiday.... Trying to stay positive....

Puppylover99 · 30/10/2020 08:17

The link wont worl how do i get first post op? New to this sorry xx

Mygirlsareeverything · 30/11/2020 12:46

Just thought i’d Say hello onit.

How are you ? Hope your well ? Have you made any Christmas arrangements yet ?

RoxiFruitcake · 30/11/2020 15:59

Hi Onit another one here who has been thinking of you. Followed you from the start of your journey all the ups and the downs. Quite eventful, but you are so strong, I am sure you have carried on regardless. I have changed my username so may not be familiar. Hope you and the children are keeping well in these difficult times. KOKO Onit xx

SunshineCake · 30/11/2020 19:56

I was looking for your thread @onitlikeacarbonnet and hoped there would be a post from you. I hope you are well, onit.

onitlikeacarbonnet · 14/12/2020 14:55

Hello
Sorry I’ve been absent. Such a lot going on. Most of it difficult as my mental health isn’t great. And just gone back to work after injuring my back in October. Like most people I’m missing human contact. The dc are ok. Dd is such a confident girl (except during the night when at least 3/7 nights she hops into bed with me), but she doesn’t bottle stuff up. She can be a drama queen but at least I know what’s bothering her.
Dd is mostly ok but struggling with no seeing his friends. The ones he doesn’t go to school with. He’s much more likely to bottle it all up then have an almighty meltdown. It always takes lots of cajoling and gentle probing to find out what’s troubling him.

I had my first wobble in a while sending the asshat an email this morning regarding Christmas
For info, I’m off Christmas Day, Boxing Day, 27th and 28th.
I had offered him a few hours on Boxing Day (10am-6pm) even though it would mean my giving up my Saturday with the dc.
His reply was typical. He thinks he should have the whole day and overnight.
Bearing in mind these 4 days are the only time during the break where I have more than 1 full day off. He already has Tuesday to Thursday both weeks as well as the weekends at either end of the holiday too. So he has 11 days to my 6 anyway.

I’m justifying to you guys (I don’t to him anymore) but when he replied I just thought fuck you. I’m offering to sit at home alone while you play happy families. And the dc don’t want to go. They want to stay with me. I didn’t tell him that. The dc don’t want him to know they said it.
The email I sent this morning confirmed the 2 midweek visits and I said we’d just stick to the established weekends.
He’s just replied that I didn’t mention it so can I confirm he’s getting the dc at 10am on BD till 10am on 27th.

I’m not negotiating. He can swivel. Talk about giving an inch and taking a mile.

Anyway, sorry about the rambling. Just wanted to check in and say I’m still alive and surviving. Hope you all are too Xmas Smile

OP posts:
onitlikeacarbonnet · 14/12/2020 14:58

I know my mistake was offering him the time in the first place.
I’ll learn eventually 🙈

OP posts:
Mix56 · 14/12/2020 15:57

If I remember correctly, he has had them over Xmas every year since he left you due to your work commitments
I would reply "my turn Buddy " Fuck you.

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 14/12/2020 16:23

Really nice to hear from you Onit. I have thought about you often during this year and wondered how you and the children were coping. I'm sorry your health hasn't been too good. Are you still seeing a therapist for your mental health? I see your ex is still being an entitled arse, no surprise there. I am guessing the children must be getting near the age when they can legally refuse to visit or stay overnight if they want to, although, of course, they may be afraid of hurting his feelings.

So glad you are off for 4 days over Christmas, I bet you can't wait.

onitlikeacarbonnet · 21/12/2020 15:58

My bookmark didn’t work trying to post an update and, while I was scrolling, I re-read a bit regarding last years discussions about Christmas.
I wish I’d looked at it in November which you’ll appreciate after I catch you up.

Too many ridiculous accusations to count including, but not restricted to, my using the dc as messengers, denying them a family Christmas, and refusing him parental access.
He retaliated with what I perceived as a threat.
Be advised that until arrangements are made for Boxing Day, nothing else is confirmed. Prior suggested dates (which he’d agreed to cover whilst I was working) can’t be finalised until this matter is also accounted for.

I called his bluff by asking him outright if he was refusing to provide childcare while I was working.

He replied saying he didn’t provide childcare.

I clarified that his previous Boxing Day contact was based on the fact I was working. And that, as I wasn’t contracted to work, and it was my weekend, I wasn’t denying him anything.
Then I asked again if he was reneging in his previous agreement to cover my shifts and, if so, could he reply ASAP so I could put my alternative childcare in place.

Asshole replied...
“However, you have left me in a position where you are saying that rather than allowing us our family Christmas, you would seek out childcare, resulting in them losing other holiday time here and increasing our covid risk. I just can't do that, so I therefore confirm that I will accept the holiday contact previously set out,”.

Successful bluff calling on my part but he’d also chucked another threat into the mix by saying if I couldn’t understand the basics of what “agreement” means, then “we will clearly need court assistance again.
Threat number 2.

I responded thanking him for reconfirming the childcare arrangements.
I said his comments had been noted but he’d said nothing that he hadn’t already said and that it didn’t change the fact that Christmas falls in my weekend as new year falls on his.

That was send on Sunday morning and I’ve had no reply as yet. I’ll bet money on it coming as soon as the dc are in bed at his tomorrow night when I won’t see them till Christmas Eve.

I’m so glad the bf was here. He’s excellent at discarding all the bullshit and he can help me remove the emotional content of my replies and stick to the facts.

Once I’d got past the threat to withdraw care on my working days, essentially threatening my job and mine and the dcs livelihood, he did say I wouldn’t have to worry about him threatening me next year. When I asked him why he said “because I’ll kill him before then” Grin

I fucking love Christmas. Not.

OP posts:
Doidontimmm · 21/12/2020 17:06

He really is the gift that keeps on giving!!

onitlikeacarbonnet · 21/12/2020 23:39

Like herpes.

Which I can attest too because he gave me herpes.

OP posts:
Mix56 · 22/12/2020 07:49

Bravo, Well played Onit. You are certainly stronger than in the early days.
He is a champion at splitting hairs to get his way,
"Denying them a fairy Xmas ?"...... What about your family Xmas? Tosser
God I hate him

Mix56 · 22/12/2020 07:52

fairy = family.... auto correct heaven !