Dating thread 152: onwards and upwards

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

p.s you must really like her and both of you have willing to invest seeing each other regularly.

@JeSuisPrest I don't really know what I'm after if I'm honest. Maybe more than just a bit of fun but maybe not with him...I don't know. I just find it so hard to relax with someone new after 20 years with my ex husband. He was also married for a long time though so maybe he feels the same. Will definitely be buying a large tote bag I think :)

unique definitely no drama, I avoid it like the plague always have, but particularly so at the moment as I have enough potential drama with my STBXW remaining undiscussed (is that a word?).
I do like her and seemingly vice versa, it's far too early to think about anything other than enjoying each others company, and without doing an emotional braindump on here I have lots of doubts mainly about myself and what I want.
But my plan is to take it one step at a time while making sure I don't hurt anybody in the process. Easier said than done though I'm sure.

I’m not sure ‘red flag’ is the right word for the situation you’re describing, @putastrawunderbaby. I always think red flags apply to the potential to be some sort of scary, abusive arsehole.

In your situation, it may be more that it’s an indication that he isn’t for you due to distance and his willingness to make you travel.

@Ant330: I think the sundayness I’d your invitation actually would take some of the pressure off. It gives her a very easy (work in the morning) reason not to stay if that’s not what she wants to do. There’d be much more pressure if it were a Friday or Saturday.

I’m loving the awful profiles. The cock one might have been quite amusing until it got to pooping out eggs and showing off breasts. The kisses one is a lovely, clear ‘I’m an arrogant fuckwit’ message. So really he’s doing everyone a favour.

@Sunshineandflipflops I recently managed to fit a weekend’s worth of clothes (I had to wear the same skirt, because I couldn’t fit one of them in but I managed tights, pants, clean tops, even a clean bra), some makeup/face cream, a toothbrush, contact lenses and my glasses into my tiny little handbag. MrSG and I were meeting one of his friends and then going to his, but I didn’t want to drag an overnight bag with me. It’s amazing what you can fit in a tiny bag with the right motivation. 😆 MrSG couldn’t believe I’d managed it.

Apart from the supreme leeriness of that MyOld, the 1 kiss approach seems totally redundant and with the potential to harm his chances

With my own username failure on PoF (I didn't realise it would go public) and in lieu of any actual interest, I've been collecting rubbish usernames

Nemesis, Trashcan, Duracell, Mandi26Faces, IamCustard, Folly, LastTry, ADogCalledArchHole

With apologies to any rubbish usernamed readers of this thread, I'm sure you made the same mistake I did

"
Also, I just wanted to say whichever guy on here said on here to another poster "it's not that you attract "bad boy" types, it's that you are attracted to them" or something similar - that's really resonated with me and I'm trying to have a good long think about why that might be in my case. "

@JeSuisPrest I think this comment was MrDrummer in response to me- it actually resonated a lot with me and spurred me on to give MrFox another go, as he's rather different to my usual type. I'm glad I did now!

Saturday's date just texted me to wish me a Happy Birthday.

Good sign I guess as I thought she was doing the slow fade out. I don't even remember telling her it was my birthday this week.

How many times do you see someone on tinder or bumble etc then see them out and about and either them or you think I recognise you from somewhere ?!? Only to realise later it’s from a dating app ??

Happy birthday @richdeniro. That was good that she texted you.

Happy birthday richdeniro

Happy birthday @richdeniro - perhaps she's been t'internet stalking?...

Happy Birthday Rich hope you have a good day.

So my date with Mr Outdoors last night was eventful! When I first saw him I was a bit disappointed because I think he looked better in his pics than in real life, plus I had built him up in my mind so much as we got on well on the phone. I decided to give it a go, rather than making an excuse to leave early, and ended up drinking a bit too much on a very empty stomach. We got on very well and I was glad that I stayed.

My wretched new shoes had the last laugh though as I slipped down a flight of stone stairs in the pub just as we were leaving and really hurt my ankle, as in could not walk on it. I had to get a cab to the station and Mr Outdoors helped me onto the train and even stayed with me for a few stops as he was worried about me. I ended up in A&E this morning but luckily I have a bad sprain but no fracture.

Mr Outdoors on the other hand missed his last train home and had to stay in a hotel. He has also lost his door keys (I found all this out by text this morning). He was very concerned about my injury, completely blamed himself for the choice of pub and for buying me so much wine and has been very sweet about everything.

To be honest he doesn't rock my world, but he was great fun and I think he will grow on me. I am usually attracted to men who are bad news, so I think it is time I tried dating a really nice guy. He is not unattractive, but he is not the good looking type that I normally fall for.

I am currently sitting at home with ice on my foot which is raised up on a chair! Apparently I will have to take at least a week off work.

Is it not good to meet half way on a first date then?

Ouch Lily I hope you are on the mend soon.

Shitwith I agree with the others - I hope you get things sorted with Mr Rugby.

Ant I'm not sure I would take an invitation to Sunday dinner as a sleepover invitation. But knowing myself like I do, I would probably ask.

Mythologies - I'm an oldie and happy to look at your profile. Have PMd you.

Glad you had a good date @LilyRose88. It sounds like MrOutdoors was great regarding your injury. I’m glad it’s not too serious. It sounds sore.

I think meeting half way would depend on where you live. I live in a city (reasonably near the centre). MrSG lives in a (crappy) village about 10 miles away from the city centre. If we met half way, it’d be somewhere weird and inconvenient (and crap). So we met in the city centre.

I have proper lurgey today. I’m all shivery and my chest hurts. Gah.

Happy birthday rich !

@Musti If there was some distance involved I would always offer to meet half way for a first date, I'm just saying that if the guy offers to do the leg work he gains a brownie point from me.

@LilyRose88 What a date, I think he definitely deserves a second date after all that

Batshit no I'm not assuming she would, nor anything else tbh. Just fancy a bit more privacy and see how we get on if we're just relaxing at home.
Just wondered if others would assume that I had nothing but an ulterior motive, say no and run for the hills.
Based on everybody's replies I'm going to suggest dinner out or at mine and let her choose.
Musti halfway is fine, shows commitment on both sides.
Happy birthday Rich

Musti only once did I drag myself across London (to his area) for a first date. Wouldn't do it again. Either meet halfway or somewhere that it's easy for both of you tp get to.

LilyRose88 ouch! Hope it mends quickly. He sounds lovely. Maybe a second date with less wine?

putastrawunderbaby for a first date I'd expect to meet halfway. Somewhere easy to get to and park if necessary. It's a no from me if he won't make some effort.

richdeniro Happy Birthday!

Thanks @crustaceans and @myoldbrainstoppedworking and thank you to the poster who talked about being attracted to 'bad boys'. Food for thought.