Dating thread 152: onwards and upwards

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@shitwithsugaron Glad you've got something sorted with MrRugby, I hope things pan out the way you want and if they don't walk away with your head held high - you can sob into a glass of wine when he's gone, or come on here for a hug.

@Ant330 If I'd been on couple of dates which ended in mutually agreed snoggage I'd be quite happy to come to yours for date 3 and a Sunday roast after an afternoon blowing.

@TooOldForThis67 That is so sweet about your mum.

@Sunshineandflipflops Take an overnight bag, but don't feel pressured into anything. Don't worry about him seeing you the next morning - be confident, it's a very attractive quality. No one looks amazing first thing (except in films) and if he's that into you he'll still be a post great sex haze and think you look really cute with your tousled hair. Whenever I've done a sleep over I always make sure I take my make up off completely at some stage before the morning - I'd rather wake up looking fairly clean and fresh faced with no make up than panda eyes and smeared lipstick.

Date with MrStone went well last night and I didn't shag him - go me

He was much better looking in real life than his photos and I thought he was hot in his photos. Height wise I'm not sure, he's only a few inches taller than me and I normally like them way over 6ft with a big build, but, he was funny, we chatted away easily for a couple of hours (until the bar staff started putting the chairs on the tables). He walked me back to me car and we had the awkward "so how do you think that went" convo, then a quick peck on the lips - we both said we'd like to meet up again and he asked if he could have my number for WhatsApp - we've only done the POF messaging so far. By the time I'd got home he'd sent me a nice message, then it all went a bit filthy which I quite enjoyed I asked if he was just after a FB, he said no, he likes sex but wants to date as well so we'll see what happens. I haven't been a great judge of character so far so I'm a bit wary this time round.

Nothing arranged for date 2, I'm going away for Easter - windswept Cornish beaches and cliff top walks will indulge my Poldark fantasy nicely. If he's interested, he'll hang on, if not then he's not a keeper anyway and he's just after a bit of skirt.

@ant330 I would ask her if she would rather go out for dinner or come to yours and if she says come to yours tell her that she is welcome to stay or not, that it is completely up to her.

oops - that's an afternoon bowling, not blowing.

I'd be quite happy to come to yours for date 3 and a Sunday roast after an afternoon blowing haha jeSuis typo?

unique I think the Sunday might be ok as she doesn't start work on Monday till 1pm, and I don't get up that early on Monday's either.
Also my son is with me from Fri through to Sunday afternoon so that's why we're planning our 4th date for Sunday evening.
We have kissed and we've both said we fancy each other so I'm going to ask later. If she says no not yet, that's fine I'll still want to go for our 4th date.

antactually I would suggest the same as musti put the ball in her court

Hahaha "blowing"

So last week I ended my relationship of a few months because we weren't seeing each other and it was one thing after another. I am still upset but started dating and I've come to terms that it's the right decision. I'm talking to a few nice guys and I'm meeting one at the weekend. The one I'm meeting is really attentive and I'm enjoying chatting to him but I'd like to play it cooler this time. I'm not instigating any chats. Partly because he messages often enough that I don't feel the need and also because I get the feeling that guys prize something more they have to work for. And also because as I haven't met him, I'm not that bothered one way or the other. In my last relationship it became intense almost immediately, phoning and texting and early declarations of love and destiny but then slowly it was me making a lot of the effort.

Yes I quite like that suggestion musti takes the pressure off her decision.
I don't want her to feel that for me to keep seeing her she has to stay the night at mine on date 4 or I'm off.

I've just come across this delightful profile.
He's 54 and is looking for a relationship

"If I write to you the rules are below if I send
1 kiss- it means I’m saying hello not interested but thought I’d say hi
2 kisses- means you deserve a kiss on the lips to see if their is any spark
3 kisses- I wanna snog you
4 kisses- I wanna snog you and slide my hand to a place of your choosing
5 kisses- I wanna sleep with you and won’t wanna hang about!
I don’t play games on here I don’t mess about and don’t want to feel it’s not going Anywhere!"

unique I missed your other replies as the thread suddenly burst into lots of activity.
No laziness here, I want to wow her with my culinary expertise which consists of following Jamie Oliver's instructions to the letter!
I've also got a couple of other ideas for future dates as well so she knows I'm planning to stick around. I've already got a couple of tickets for a stand up comedian at the end of the month (I'm not getting ahead of myself, I was planning to go anyway), and there's a new indoor crazy golf place opened up where I live.

Just off to catch up on the thread....but also wanting advice please because I'm hopless at spotting red flags and have been in too many abusive relationships.
MrTeacher has invited me for a drink on Friday night and wants me to travel to his city 10 miles away where the parking is difficult and I won't be able to have a drink. That's a red flag, isn't it? Am I okay to say no on that basis?
Other irons include: Mr Eloquent, from Fab, who may be all mouth and no trousers, Mr Tree from Match, who is very sweet but needs a shove or we'll always be penpals, Mr Office from Fab who is a bit....small....and Mr FWB who is becoming intense and may have to go.

putastraw have you met MrTeacher before or is this a 1st date? If it's the latter then yes it's a red flag for me as he's not willing to make any effort. If he's already travelled over to you then no it's not.
Why don't you get a cab rather than driving?

Hello everyone - can I join again. I posted very briefly a year or so back, but then gave up dating.
Trying again - with no luck - like last time.
No messages; no likes; not even any looks - no one is even checking out my profile.
I am old and short. Maybe that's it.
I am on GSM (Brokeout) and Bumble (don't know how you search here but SE London) - would love someone to check my profile and tell me straight that I am on a hiding to nothing before I get even more depressed and waste any more of life.
Thanks in advance!

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I'll see your kisses creep and raise you this one who messaged me yesterday...

Looking for a nice “chick” so can set up coop together and enjoy spending time together inside and outside.

Not worried if you have pooped out a couple of “eggs” as have a couple myself from previous,

Would like to be the only rooster you have eyes for and want to show your legs,thighs,breasts to. Not even colonel sanders should be getting a taste ;-) lol

I think it depends unique have you had a drink together in your home town yet? So is reciprocating. Once had an iron who was in a town 20 miles away so met in a town 10 miles away. So just didn’t drink. You can say no any basis but on its own wouldn’t say this is a red flag.

Thank you @Ant330 I thought it might be, I just needed reassurance! First date, so I'm definitely going to say thanks but no thanks.

MrStone drove 20 miles to meet me last night for our first date, I did offer to meet half way but he said he was happy to do the driving. I'm a bit old fashioned, so that's put an extra tick in the "pro's" column for me already, also holding doors open, carrying both drinks to the table, asking where I'd like to sit etc - it's the little cues that add up for me. I like a bit of chivalry.

Really depends if it's your first date or not. Personally having done all the running about with MrAbs who also lived 20 miles away, I wouldn't do it again.

Also, I just wanted to say whichever guy on here said on here to another poster "it's not that you attract "bad boy" types, it's that you are attracted to them" or something similar - that's really resonated with me and I'm trying to have a good long think about why that might be in my case.

@JeSuisPrestThe problem with me taking an overnight bag is that I am out all afternoon in the city I am meeting him in with friends then staying on to meet him for drinks so don't really want to be carrying an overnight bag round with me all day! Also, as I will be getting the train there it means I won't have my car with me the next morning to get home from his.

Maybe I just need to raise these concerns with him but I also don't want to sound like I'm making excuses.

@Ant, if the guy I'm dating invited me round for sunday dinner I don't think I'd automatically assume sleepover.

@shitwithsugaron It was tempting, but somehow I'll manage to consign him to the pile of ones that got away...

@Ant330

You sound like one of the decent ones!
No drama or mind games with you

@Sunshineandflipflops In that case, I think i'd just be carrying an oversized tote handbag with clean undies, toothbrush and my makeup, if you're just after a bit of fun. You only live once...