Dating thread 152: onwards and upwards

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@Peanuthedz no, we met on POF. He's just not in place to start a relationship, he's working away a lot, his dad is incredibly poorly, he's living out of a mate's spare room whilst he waits for his house to be sold which his ex is still living in and he says he just hasn't got the ability to commit to a relationship and all that entails at the moment. The timing is crap, because we really like each other physically and we really connect mentally as well.

So I guess it is what it is at the moment and I'll have to be OK with that until some amazing guy comes and sweeps me off my feet and makes me forget about him, or he gets his life sorted, whichever comes first 🤷‍♀️. I'm only doing the FWB thing with him because otherwise I'll do something stupid like message MrBanker after a bottle of wine on Friday night and suggest a no strings hook up. No, we've not talked about being exclusive FWB - doesn't that make it a bf/gf relationship in all but name? I'm confused!! 😳

Ah yeah he's got a lot going on. Is he seeing others? He sounds pretty keen! Why don't you see how it goes with mr stone - clearly it won't go that well as you're all 😍 about mr plumber. Then you could put some feelers out to be exclusive FWB. If that's what you want anyway?

We've got so much stuff as we get older! I've got two primary aged kids, I'm unemployed/job hunting, trying to sell the family home but no joy so far and still bloody married! I'm a catch 🤣

A quick update, my Mum came round unexpected, got on really well with Mr Gardener. But, do you know what, I'm not overthinking cos I don't need to, if that makes sense? I will probably fuck it up later, like I do!

So after a month of no irons whatsoever. This hasn’t happened for possibly years. I’ve uped the settings become slightly more desperate on tinder. And thinking of going on another dating site. Suggestions appreciated as to which one. Spent the day around several really cute guys has kinda left me panting a little

Back from my 2nd date with my first Tinder guy and it was nice. Ended with a pub car park snog, and an offer to stay at his on Saturday night 😳
We were meeting up anyway and my last train home is quite early, hence the offer, but not sure I’m ‘there’ yet or ready for him to see me the morning after 🙈

sunshine glad your date went well.
Hmmm next Saturday is up to you. You have a few days to decide..you could tell him the truth and see what he says?

He mentioned a blow up bed but I think we both know if I stay I won’t be on a blow up bed 😂

Haha sunshine just go for it..but know you have the option of the early train if you don’t fancy it on the night!

still18 depends what you want?
I am on tinder, Bumble and Fab. Tbh If you just want lots and lots of male attention Fab is great but probs not the best place if you want a relationship BUT lots of the guys on fab are also on tinder and Bumble too

marlboroI tried bumble and I found I really wasn’t good at starting conversations. With something like fab have a feeling I would find the same and it will just be the same old faces

@shitwithsugaron I don’t think he’s a twat. I also don’t think he’s my Mr right but no harm in having a bit of fun I guess (and he is hot) 😊

shitwith - Glad MrRugby got in touch at least.

3rd date arranged with MissOz for this evening, we're going bowling and I'm going to get my ass whipped apparently, which I'm hoping is a post bowling activity!
To be fair I am being the perfect gent as it sounds like she's had a few 1st and 2nd dates followed by blokes disappearing as she didn't sleep with them. So I'm on my bestest behaviour.
Although I wanted a bit of advice as we're planning to meet again on Sunday evening after she finishes work, and I'm wondering whether to invite her to mine for Sunday dinner?
Cards on the table, I'd like her to stay over but I'm also happy to wait to DTD if that's what she wants. But it would be nice to spend some time together not in a public place, snogging in my car or a pub car park lol.
For those of you who don't DTD in the first few dates would this sound ok or would you just think I was trying to get you into bed and say no.
For all I know she might say yes and turn up with an overnight bag!

Ant330 I think dinner is lovely idea. Suggest it and see what she says. You could say it would be nice to see her somewhere quieter so you could talk and get to know each other better.

shitwithsugaron I hope you get the closure you need.

Still18atheart I frequently switch between all the apps. I haven't found any one to be better than the others. And I'm still seeing the same faces from over 2 years ago.
You just have to persevere, have a break occasionally, revamp your profile and try again

Ok thanks both, I was planning to say that I'll be the perfect gent until she tells me not to be. So Sunday is planned as dinner and a cuddle on the sofa.

Oh and shitwith don't let MrRugby decide what happens, it's not working for you so tell him so and if it's not going to change then it's your decision to walk away.
I know it's tough to do so, but don't let him decide for you.

ant bowling sounds fun..as does the ass whipping 😁 yes ask her to yours for dinner if she wants to stay she will ask or turn up with a bag!
shitwith I hope you get the closure you need

@Ant330

I am one of the ones that waits a while before DTD if I ever get to that stage!
I was a little scared off last year when a guy asked me round to his on a Sunday evening after the 4th date I think. ( but that was cos his friend happened to be staying over at his) and it was a Sunday eve! and we has yet to kiss properly, was was a little unsure.
Is she local ish? also I prob wouldn't stay over on a Sunday night for the first time with work the next day.
That could just be me though and I tend to date people that are not local.
I just think a Friday night or Saturday is more relaxing.

• Excuse the typos! I just think some guys invite girls round too soon out of laziness. Not just cos they are going to expect sex, but cos they aren't interesting in going out and doing stuff. I also did not feel comfortable meeting a friend at his house, without going round there once or twice before hand.

Ant
I would say yes it you were within 30 mins and asked me round early evening, and I would be happy to leave by 10pm.

hi ant, i'm one of the ones who wait these days,not because I don't want it but to make sure if I like them,they stick around.

Sunday dinner sounds lovely and chilling out on the sofa after,i would like that but just play it cool.
If it was me,i'd like to hear some plans for maybe the following week, I don't know what you both like,but maybe a show in the not too distance future,so I felt secure that you're hanging about