Dating thread 152: onwards and upwards

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Daffo, that made me laugh!

howling

it made me laugh out loud this morning. It's even better when delivered verbally not in writing!

Sweet baby Jesus, I've just unhidden my POF profile for 10 minutes and these are the first 3 messages:

"I would"

"Holy cow, I'd buy that for a dollar"

"Yes please!!!!!!"

WTF? Do they think I'll actually engage with them based on messages like this?!

This is why I alway have it hidden and do my own picking, makes me feel like a bloody piece of meat on display in a butcher's window. Hidden again now

Here's my joke, that I used on PoF...

Last night, I dreamed I wrote The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. I was Tolkien in my sleep.

To be fair, I think most drum kits are handmade. I was eyeing up a £10k (gold plated) drumkit back in the 90s, but I held off because my gf (whom I marriend) and I were moving in together. Wish I had bought it and dumped the gf. Would have been way cheaper in the long run!

peanuthedz that'd be a turn up for the books haha

jesuis I'm a sucker for a joke too. And apparently expensive musical instruments

crustaceans yeah he handled it well. I got a blow by blow impression the next day....my legs flailing in the air

mrdrummer yeah...theres some special aspect to it...not sure what. Expensive and quite a bastard to get out of

Loving the jokes!
I have been known to try a few cheesy jokes in the past as opening messages. But they usually fall flat. Maybe it's the way I tell them.

JeSuisPrest that sums up my POF experience as well.
And they're usually potato heads in football shirts, well over an hour away.

I've had to check my location is right on POF because I get so many messages from men who are nowhere near me. Why bother? Especially if you don't have anything interesting to say.

@supercali77

I can probably guess the make of it, but it would be a bit outing. I met the guy who makes them. He offered me a tour of workshop back then, but they are world famous now. Now his kits sell for > £5k I think.

My polite joke for OLD use is "what is the best cheese to tempt a bear out of its cave...
Camembert"
My favourite joke at the moment...
Boy: Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?
Dad: Well Teresa is an anagram of Easter and your mum absolutely loves Easter doesn't she
Boy: Yes she does, ok thanks Dad
Dad: No problem Alan

mrdrummer yeah it was in the many thousands. Thank God I didn't end up with a bill heh

ant stealing your jokes

Just done the weekly food shop and saw Mr S, darted the other way before he saw me, then came face to face with him in another aisle. Very awkward, didn't know what to say, so just said 'hi, how are you' he just looked at me funny so I made my excuses and dashed off.
I've just remembered he said he had an identical twin brother, so I have no idea if I just had a strange moment with an ex iron or his oblivious brother 😂
The joys of living in a small town!

Loving the jokes

My fav crap joke is
What's grey and comes in pints?
An Elephant!

30something - Haha, that's really funny! I would suspect that they are both used to things like that happening.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows to high. She seemed surprised.

Why do blind people hate skydiving?
It scares the shit out of their dogs

For those of you with FWB, are they very attractive, hot? Why are they unsuitable? I have been chatting to someone for about 9months now as online buddies but I've always known he fancies me. He wasnt my type at all mainly due to his personal issues. He was very easy to chat to but has depression, ADHD etc so hasn't been looking to date anyway. We have stayed friends and are due to meet properly soon. I know if I gave signals, he would do whatever I want. I'm now feeling quite tempted as seems like it would be so easy with him. He has a number of female friends who he has slept with in the past, and I'm getting the idea that they used him to scratch an itch as don't see him as boyfriend material. Ive never done anything like that ie the casual route so bit apprehensive.

Loving the jokes!

Eesha my FWBs are attractive, yes. And they don't want relationships or they are too young for me to have a relationship with

Eesha for me it was

1. I didnt want a relationship at the time
2. Attractive but personality clash
3. Not so attractive but good company

4, Not so attractive not such good company but available

In short I (and I think most people) would not have a fwb who was amazing looking amazing in bed amazing company and loving and loyal. Ie there is always a flaw somewhere!

@Eesha I would tread very carefully with this one. If it is just to be FWB, then I think this needs to be crystal clear from the outset (plus you will need to read between the lines). It is pretty easy to screw with someone's mental health, if it isn't healthy to start with. My wife ultimately took her own life in response to our break-up (which, to be fair, I handled extremely badly/recklessly). So buyer beware, etc.

The reason that I have FWB is that I don't think either of us want a LTR at the moment, and I think it suits us both not to get too invested at the moment. Anyway, I think I am FWB+ or LTR-, tbh.

@MrDrummer so sorry to hear about what happened to you. This particular person seems to just have chosen casual sex in the past to avoid relationships and he has been completely honest about the fact that he didn't want anything relationship wise. I think he just lusts after me rather than wanting a full blown thing. I'll see how it goes post meeting and then make a call. He definitely isn't pushing it, it's just he has made it clear he is there if I want him.

FWB works brilliantly as long no-one is getting hurt. The minute it's more, it becomes problematic (imo).

Generally mine have been people I know I couldn't have a relationship with but I enjoyed an evening out and a shag with them. And that's the long and short of it.

MrDrummer I'm really sorry to hear that about your wife. How terrible for you.

Thanks for the thoughts, but there isn't any need to make apologies etc, as I have fully dealt with it. :) I was just trying to illustrate a point.

OMG I just got a WhatsApp from Mr"its cuckolding not a 3some"Banker!! He feels bad about what happened and what he said to me on his last message calling it off (after one date but we had DTD 🙄) - it was just a fantasy, he's really not bothered about doing it again, how am I, how's work blah blah...

Based on his previous messages and discussions in person, which made it very clear he would love for it to happen again, my reply which I hope was polite and mature was as follows:

"You didn't upset me, please dont feel bad about it. I think we both know that it is something you would like to pursue again at some point in the future if the opportunity arose and that's absolutely your prerogative to want to do that. All I did was make it clear that that would be something I personally wouldn't be interested in. It wasn't just a fantasy scenario for you, it was something you have actively participated in and obviously got great pleasure from. Once that kind of genie is out of the bottle it's incredibly hard to just go back to the fantasy idea of it knowing what the real thing is like. No hard feelings. We all like what we like and as long as everyone is consenting all good."

What a day!! Off to get ready for my date with MrStone, please God, let him be normal. MrPlumber is still being a sweetheart 6ft 2 beardy brick outhouse and soft as mud holding cupping my face when he bends down to kiss me, then whispers in my ear he hopes my date goes well, but not too well, he'll message me later to make sure I got home safe and say goodnight. I know I'm going to get the feels for him. Feckity feck 😟

See this is what I don't get about FWB. Why can't you get the feels @JeSuisPrest ? Has he said he doesn't want to be exclusive?

Surely that's ideal? You start as FWB and progress to a relationship? What am I not getting?

Oh hang on... did you meet on FAB?

@JeSuisPrest mr plumber sounds lovely!