Dating thread 152: onwards and upwards

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

That's exactly it though, I can't really host for various reasons. Not just my untidy house so fine for a first date but for later...

Gosh, I haven't been on for a while - things are lively on here!!

Potato men in football shirts is hilarious! Where do they all come from?

jesuis I'd be tempted to message that arse back but you're probably better keeping the moral high ground. You conducted yourself really well imo if the face of such twattery.

richdeniro the situation with your date... I think she does sound quite interested but doesn't want to jump in? I wouldn't be texting a guy to meet me later if I wasn't into him. Slow burner maybe.

I got a dick pic on bumble! I didn't even realise you could send pics. It was a bit of a shock.

I've been on bumble/tinder for about a month now, and been on a few dates with some very nice guys.

First one, no connection.

Second, lovely. Ticks all my boxes, very fit, attractive, a year older than me, good chat. He's offered to help me with a hobby thing we both do which I bought something for and needs a bit of work.

By then end of first date had arranged a second for a few days later and then a third which we were on last night. And we have a 4th lined up now.... BUT although a little tactile (arm touches, contact when sitting on comfy sofa in pub) no full on kiss yet. Kiss on lips at the end of each date. On 2nd it was bit lingering but not a full on kiss.

Our messaging is fun and frequent but not flirty although I would quite like a bit of flirty fun I don't want to lead in that respect. Am I being too cautious?

I too am wondering if he fancies me!

@ItsAMiracle2015 I never message first. I just think if they aren't interested enough to do that then its not worth it. I also think if I messaged them they might just engage because its being offered rather than genuinely wanting to pursue.

khaleesi maybe just a wee kiss or winky emoji on the end of a message will help push thigs along?

When one door closes another one opens. Date with MrStone brought forward from next Thursday to tomorrow night at the pub where I met my husband's mistress and we compared notes whilst he thought he was playing both us... It'll be a talking point if we run out of conversation I suppose 😱😂

jesuis i like your style

@supercali77 will try that. I sometimes put kisses on texts but he doesn't really do it (the odd one) so I don't either now...

4 dates and no snog khaleesi?!

KhaleesiTargaryen thank you! Although if I didn't message first then I'd never speak to any of my matches! 🙈. I don't know why they bother swiping right if 99% don't message or reply to my message 🤷. Been in the garden all day today so managed to stay off the dreaded apps 😂.

Also, I would've gone in for a full on snog by now 🙈😂😂.

I agree, 4 dates and no snog? Where are you going for the dates, the library?

I'm shocked. And actually I wouldn't feel very fancied.

also thinking that shagging by date 2 now makes me look bad

3 dates so far and one in the pipeline...

@WarIsPeace

Where are you going for the dates, the library? hahaha... you have a point though...

We've been for drinks - would you snog in a pub? He then had to dash for a train so no lingering. Then he walked me to my car last night but it was so cold we didn't hang about.

OK. Next date, I def want a snog!! I just don't know how to make the first move!! Or if I want to? Shouldn't he be doing that?

I had three dates no snog Khaleesi. Finished it before a fourth date (which was being planned) because I felt like he didn't fancy me!

Khaleesi you might have to lunge in for a snog..do you fancy him?

I am still feeling really down..all of my irons just want to sext/ send dick pics.

I had 2 dates lined up this week but both from fab. I have cancelled both telling them I am taking a break. I think I have been messaging too many at once to feel any real connection and still mooning over Mr Big so just gonna take a break. I want to actual date!!

Marlboro completely feel your pain. Almost messaged Mr Baker this morning (if you don't remember; lovely but zero sense of humour and beyond awkward after like 6 dates). Held off though as thought it wouldn't be fair on him 🤷.

@BatshitCrazyWoman i kind of feel, why would he be organising another date if he wasn't keen? Did you say anything or just cancel?

@Marlboroandmalbec34 yes, I do. I just think we've not been in a place where snogging would be appropriate. And hes a foot taller than me so maybe not super easy when saying goodbye but I really want him to!!

Regards too many convs. I can't deal with that either. I can only deal with about 3 without it feeling cursory, so I hide my profile while I'm sussing out the ones that have attracted me. I feel like, if we'd met in a bar, I wouldn't be checking out the rest while I was chatting with a guy.

I have just been arranging the provisional second date (we've not had the first yet ) and have quite openly planned that it will be a hotel date or similar... Because if we are meeting again its going to be for a bonk

Guys on here... any thoughts. Wouldyou go 3 dates without a snog if you fancied someone?

@WarIsPeace brilliant!!!

KhaleesiTargaryen
I've been several dates with different guys where there has been no snog.
The outcome has generally been either they were not sure about me or or I wasn't sure about them, or they found it very difficult to read me.
Or they really did want to kiss me but I kept making excuses not to.
oh another one was dating another girl so was physical with her but not me.

Khaleesi - yes, I would/have and from what you describe he seems to have been working up to it and is probably being respectful - the walk back to the car stands out. You could be bold and say shame it was so cold as you both missed an opportunity and see what he says. Or if you do go for a next date, just linger in there on the goodbye hug/cheek kiss and he should hopefully respond.

From from my experience if a guy makes an effort to meet you once a week even if you haven't kissed they definitely like you.
It's when things are on and off it's bit hmmm

If I'm honest Khaleesi I'd have probably shagged by now. 4 dates. Yup. I'd have thought they weren't interested, or maybe I weren't sure by that point with no snogging shagging 🙈. Have your messages been flirty? Any mention on the lack of snogging?

I really really don't like cheek kisses or peck on lips.
Would rather neither.

Thank god its not just me

For me, there's no point having loads of dates and getting feels for each other if you're not compatible genitals are not compatible