Dating thread 152: onwards and upwards

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

30something it sounds like you need to take a step back for a little while. I get how you feel. One minute it feels like fun, then it starts messing with your emotions.
If you're not sure about Mr Fox then just say no to a second date.

I could never even seem to get to FWB. Believe me I tried but just ended up with a lot of unsatisfactory one night stands, and feeling used and worthless.
I do have a drink date Tuesday and if that bombs, well it's back to box sets!

I kissed them all! (And shagged 2 🤦🏼‍♀️)

I thought it was the shagging that put them off but then when I didn’t and the same thing happened!!

Wow this thread really moves fast! Spent the last half hour reading through this one and the last thread!

I'm struggling with matches, all either live with parents, down work or drive. I've even increased my age requirements (I'm 32, it was 28-35 but I've now done 28-45 😂). Thinking I might be too young for the 45 year olds but I just want someone who is at least somewhat settled in their own lives.

Then spoke to someone last night who owns a lot of properties but dear God did he go on about it. So dull, and literally zero sense of humour. And then woke up to a shitty message this morning as I hadn't replied to his last boring boastful message 👍.

*don't work

sharp&shiney sounds like you had a couple of ONS, rather than dates...

I have no problem with "same night sex" if you are both feeling it, but maybe hold off until date 2? Not a hard and fast rule, obviously...

What is it you are looking for?

sharpandshiney haha I wasn't expecting that reply :)
Man4 is right, you've had 2 ONS and they've moved on. So you're only basing your lack of success at getting a 2nd date on a test group of 1. Don't worry about it, carry on, you're getting 1st dates which is a massive hurdle cleared ;)

Well I've been speaking to someone last night on POF and this morning who is very much my type, but he's left the army and joining the marines. After my ex being in the army, i'm not sure I can be bothered with that. Match seems like a waste of time, I hardly get any messages and no one I would be interested in. I had one date with someone last week off match, but he's told me despite the lovely date, he's not ready for anything else.

Thanks Ant330. You've given more confirmation that my current approach of friendly messages at the start and maybe a kiss after a date is ok.

My interactions with my two irons have been so chaste yet I bought a second phone expecting lots of pictures of willies!

Stealth haha judging by what I've read on here you won't have to wait long! But not all of us think sending inappropriate pictures of our body parts is the best approach.
Anyway it depends what you're looking for from OLD. If it's a relationship then don't shag them on the 1st date, that will weed out the guys who only want that and to move on to the next one. And won't put off the guys that do want a relationship but might assume you don't because you're having sex on a 1st date.
But if you're just after lots of sex then carry on

Thanks Ant330. My lovely mum friends are all 'happily' married and asking me every day if I've had any dick pics yet and I feel like a failure for not producing one!

Ultimately I do want a relationship (and lots of sex in it!) It would be hard to shag straight away because of dcs and lots of guys have been put off by my situation already so while I don't want to over invest in Mr Enthusiastic he seems happy to wait.

@30somethingandsingle What an arse! You and I sounds very similar in lots of ways, I too am going to come off the apps for a while and have a bit of space/thinking time. I need to stop making bad decisions based on my physical needs fanny. I've got a drawer full of toys that will suffice perfectly well and I never have to worry about them ghosting me, I just miss that physical intimacy with a man sometimes and that's when my swiping urge takes over... I think I'm going to have to have a rule of no drinking and swiping - that way lies trouble.

@MarcMyWords I need to learn some of your self control - 6 weeks? I think I would have self combusted, but well done, it sounds like it's created a really good foundation for your relationship going forward, I hope things go well for you.

Thanks to @MrDrummer for reviewing my profile and giving me some very useful feedback

Sleepover with MrPlumber went v.well last night . I think we could end up in a FWB thing - he is local and right up my street looks wise, smells amazing and is very hairy . I don't think I'd get the feels for him other than as a friend, but he is incredibly easy to chat to, same sense of humour, values etc. so I'd rather meet up with him a couple of times a month than just meet random blokes for hook ups after a few messages

Stealth - Good idea re the 2nd phone. I put my dick pics in a secure folder on my phone now, after looking at lovely cat and dog pics with my son and suddenly a dick pops up! Luckily he laughed his head off, bless.
JeSuis - Your last sentence - yes, totally agree.

MrWow popped over to help put some things in the loft for me. He's back on the dating apps and is having more success. Why? Because he listened to me and changed his first message tactics to asking questions about something in their profile rather than just Hi, you look nice etc. I felt quite sad that he's dating again tho. He'd make a brilliant FWB but that's not what I'm looking for.

Mr army seems lovely, but seems to similar to my ex (both infantry, both lance corporals, same area they live in). They could know each other for all I know. Backed away and now and back looking.

hello all! just wanted to check in and see how you are all doing!

I am still not back on the apps but have set myself a deadline of the end of this month.

Am so busy at work plus finishing a load of other projects I do on the side!

JeSuisPrest
I just miss that physical intimacy with a man sometimes and that's when my swiping urge takes over
This is me. I swear I'll give the apps a break but then I get drawn back to them.

Spent yesterday evening with a bunch of very fit lycra-clad men. Then came home and started looking on POF again. No idea why 😂

toooldforthis67 it was £15 in Tesco. I am not IT literate enough to guarantee I could hide my dick pics that I don't have yet away from my primary aged dc. Last week dd1 showed me how to use my phone on a restaurants wifi so she is definitely more IT literate than me.

Do ladies actually like dick pics, then, to warrant saving them? I don't think I could ever send them, even to someone I was in a LTR with.

30something thank goodness you caught him out on Fab - what a snake!

Well things have moved on a bit for me. I really wasn't feeling it with Mr Builder and I was regretting having agreed to go out for a meal tonight. He was texting me late last night trying to arrange when to meet and he couldn't get understand why I am not drinking at the moment. I kept explaining that I am doing it for health reasons as I have a lot of sporting events coming up (I am a runner) and he kept saying 'well you can have a few glasses of wine or a gin and tonic, can't you'. I was getting a bit pissed off. This morning he texts me to say that the table at the restaurant he had chosen wasn't available until 9.45. I said that was too late as I have a 7am start to my day tomorrow, so I suggested that we rearrange our date to an unspecified date in the future. So I have managed to get out of both dates this weekend, which has made me much more relaxed.

In other news, I have just had a long conversation with Mr Outdoors, and we have arranged to meet after work on Tuesday. We really got on well and if he looks as good as he does in his photos, it should be a good evening. He is looking for the same things as me and has similar values to me He is also pretty hot and quite a bit younger than me, but is relaxed about the age difference. Fingers crossed.

JeSuis good news about Mr Plumber.

Not sure a dick pick would turn me on mr drummer,more like turn me off! I've never had one though ( I knew there was a reason I still have a nokia lol)

Does anyone have a spread sheet for irons? Considering doing this, I kind of have peaking order in my head of favourite to least favourite.

Mr unemployed is annoying me by texting too much, he seems to have a lot of time on his hands and thinks I do too, I don’t work full time but I have 2 disabled kids to juggle and I keep myself busy with the gym and at the mo ent sorting the garden. He’s probably bottom of my list.

Mr Army is top of my list even if it’s just a FWB thing (not sure if it’s possible to have a relationship with someone in the army, not sure what rank he is but judging he’s quite high up), he seems to have lots of events he has to attend as well as his day time role.

Mr Teacher is 2nd on my list but not sure when I will get to see him (of if).

Mr Dog is 3rd, I don’t know that much about him but he seems ok.

4th is Mr Normal who just seems a bit boring.

I’m not sure if I can cope with any more irons so I haven’t replied to any messages for a few days and haven’t been on the apps much (also avoiding Mr SA on the apps).

Reguarding dick pics, I don’t like getting them from someone I have never met but if it’s a FWB that I have been seeing then I find it quite amusing. Mr Young sends me the odd rude photo to make me laugh, he’s usually doing something silly in the photo so it’s become a bit of a joke.

@mrdrummer I don't like them nor see the point and would change how I see someone. Even if my boyfriend were to send me one and I love every part of him.
Some friends like them though.

Love I was thinking of creating a spreadsheet as it can get confusing! I did think the other day that if anything happened to me and my daughters were looking through my phone they would get a bit of a shock about the number of men that I am texting at the moment. Plus I am exchanging rather rude messages with the girl from the couple that I had the threesome with from Fab! I would love to meet her again without her other half but he is not happy with her doing that. She is up for it though so maybe we could have a clandestine affair (is it really bad that I am thinking about suggesting it to her?)

@user1466783975 Someone could fax you a dick pick maybe!

@mrdrummer I would hate to have a dick pic, especially from a guy I hadn't even met. But it's become a joke among my friends that there's something wrong with me because I haven't had one.