Dating thread 152: onwards and upwards

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Mid & Mum, 57 male, but I've helped a couple of ladies here, so feel free to pm me if you wish.

bats I'm not ignoring you! I personally think your POF profile is good the way it is...

lovemusic33 are you me? I think I look ok in the mirror but in selfies I always have a long face, double chin, dark shadows under my eyes and terrible skin. For my profile photos I plastered myself in foundation and blusher which I rarely wear and still looked shit. My only date so far was really surprised that I look so much better in real life because apparently his other dates usually put really flattering photos on and were worse in real life. That could be why I am not getting asked out by many men!

lovemusic33 last week I was worried Mr Enthusiastic would accidentally FaceTime me so I phoned him just before he was due to phone me. (I was also sitting in a darkish room just in case).

mrdrummer “upgrading my fwb” made me

stealth yes, that’s me, I rarely wear make up unless I’m going to be in photos. I only really have one nice photo of me on my POF profile and that was taken when I wasn’t looking (natuaral pose).

Thanks Man

I've just done a photography course, although I haven't put what I've learnt into practice yet.

Indoor selfie: - Stand away from a window - face the window, take the selfie as if you were looking through the window.

Outdoor selfie: - Stand under an arch if possible (branches for instance). Sun behind you. Take the picture "into" the light.

Late afternoon gives the most flattering light!

love - If I had a choice I'd rather facetime someone than talk on the phone - as long as I'm prepared. I think I look awful on the little screen that pops up and horrified that they get the full screen version! Lol.
Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and no one likes themselves in photo's.
wishy - that's creepy, lol.

Re: selfies. If you take a photo from arms length it distorts your face. Makes It longer. The nose is bigger. Etc. If you have one of those little hands free things you get for cars I'd recommend using that to take a pic a bit further away.

I think you’re either a phoner or not one. I dislike speaking to people on the phone and avoid whenever possible. Video calls are worse. I have spoken to mrSG on the phone fewer than 5 times in nearly 9 months (and most of them have been him phoning from his car to tell me he’s stuck in traffic).

When I was initially chatting (via WA) to MrSG my phone kept accidentally trying to video call him. It was embarrassing. He said he’d be happy to video call but I actually didn’t want to. He must have thought I was very odd.

After our first date my phone did it (just voice call) while I was at a friend’s house. I didn’t realise for a minute or two and didn’t know he’d answered so I just hung up. We’d been watching tv and talking about what we were watching. We were actually having a really silly conversation about the sex lives of Japanese people on reality tv. MrSG told me he was confused by the conversation but intrigued that we were talking about sex. He was probably disappointed I hung up on him.

Honestly, I’m not sure why he persevered since I was so bloody weird.

You see that’s the thing I bearly ever spoke in the phone toy ex despite it being ltr. And everyone was shocked and I was like meh. He wasn’t a big talker so it would just be lots of awkward silences

I had a co worker who used to talk to his wife on the phone every lunch time but here was the weird thing....hed use her full name. Like 'hi joanna'. I always thought that was a weird kinda formal thing to do with your wife. (They later divorced)

I've just come across a great profile on POF from a Dom looking for his sub.

I can't link it here in public. But it ends
"Quality of conversation is a requirement, converse with me like cardboard and I'll put you in a box and call DPD."

I think I might have to use that line.

My weirdo ex starts all WA messages with ‘hi Crustaceans’. Every single one. Even if it’s an immediate reply.

He also sends me very formal emails, like he’s corresponding with an elderly colleague he’s never met in person.

MyOld love that line 🤣🤣

I haven’t heard from Mr Army today so I’m hoping I won’t have to video chat him, he has been on POF today so maybe I scared him off by not doing a video chat last night?

I have a few irons but none are that amazing. I like Mr Teacher but he’s very busy (does message occasionally to opolagise). Mr Normal wants to meet but I’m finding conversation with him a bit boring, Mr Dog is similar and not that interesting. I’m finding it hard to find anyone with the wow factor.

@crustaceans that is weird 🤔 bizarrely my ex does it with his older ex when talking about contact with his son. And signs off with his full name too. It seems kinda passive aggressive. Like....dont get too familiar with me ok. This is business 😂

love finding anyone with wow factor is like trying to find a grain of sand. Infuriating. Hence...the ones there's any banter or bit of connection with - over investment!

That's interesting. I am probably too formal with people and my messages often begin with 'hi....persons name' and end with my name. I don't mean to be passive aggressive just polite but I do understand now why it might look that way. I also don't like it when people kiss me in a message if I wouldn't kiss them in real life.

Am having quite nice messages with Mr Enthusiastic but not much humour or flirting. He is interested in how I am and replies quite quickly. Maybe I should be daring and do a x at the end of a message and not my name? I wonder if a man would even notice if I started to put kisses at the end of a message?

And now I'm going to overthink. I feel like I'm good at communicating face to face - and 20 years ago I could flirt - but I'm not good in writing.

MyOld 😂

I only really use someone's name in the first or second message on OLD. If I start putting kisses on messages I'm ramping it up a bit lol. I don't sign off with my name - that would feel 'work-y' to me.

@StealthNinjaMum

I wonder if a man would even notice if I started to put kisses at the end of a message?

I would notice them but wouldn't but too much weight on them. Probably zero weight on them.

I sign all my messages with Best Regards, HairyArsedMan

Ok, I don’t really; I have on my Match profile ‘Not Very Romantic’ so kisses and the like in messages are a major game changer.

Thanks @MrDrummer and BatshitCrazyWoman

That makes complete sense. I will stop signing off with my name to messages to everyone but maybe leave the kisses until I've met him? (Assuming I like him).

So with my unflattering profile pictures and overly formal messages I look like such a good catch!

That's interesting HairyArsedMan most men I've seen on match describe themselves as "Romantic" and I assumed they are lying because they think that's what women want to hear. I'm glad you're honest on your profile - if I saw it I would like it.

MrFar is still an iron and is turning out rather interesting.

Mr recurrent iron is out of the picture due to excess flakiness