Probably the wrong place to post. My fiancé admitted that he had a lap dance last month. I’m gutted.

[currantbeings]

I don’t know whether this is the right place to post.

Myself and OH have been together for 8 years. I’m currently 29 weeks pregnant with DD2.

He went on his friend’s stag do last month, they went to Prague. I’m not naive, I know they weren’t going to look at the architecture and had gotten my head around the fact that they’d be going to strip clubs etc.

I didn’t want to be ‘that’ girlfriend who comes across as jealous and possessive but I told him that I completely and utterly draw the line at private lap dances. Having a naked woman grind herself across his privates with her boobs in his face is crossing a line in my eyes. It tells me that he has the desire to cheat.

It wasn’t like the Spanish Inquisition when he got back. I was happy to see him and asked him if he’d had a good time. I got short and snappy one or two word replies. He never really elaborated much.

He was driving last night and a text came through on his phone from the groom. I asked him if he wanted me to read it and he slammed all on and shouted ‘no!’

I caught a glimpse of the messages and one from OH read ‘I was so hard after that dance, I had to find a toilet to relieve myself.’

I was very upset initially. He tried to deny it and then said that his friend had paid for it for him and he felt as though he had to go through with it, oh must’ve been such a chore having a beautiful, slim, young girl bouncing on your boner!! Fully nude too apparently!

I feel so vulnerable, down and depressed about it all. I know in the scheme of things it’s probably not that bad but I made my feelings clear before he went. I’ve been on a lot of hen parties and never had the urge to have some stranger rub himself against me.

I feel like I’ve lost all respect for OH’s friends too. I don’t want to go to their fucking wedding next month and to be honest I want to call our wedding off. That’s how upset I am about it all!

To be fair, it has never happened again and he has been an amazing father and husband. I'm glad I weathered the storm and can't imagine our lives without each other and our kids.

Think my reaction put the fear of god into him but at the time it was very hard. I kick myself because I always thought I had the strength of character not to put up with that shit but with not a single discrepancy before and just the usual silly arguments after I done the right thing. Not that I need to justify myself to you.

And really? You would break your dying mother's heart because of a stripper?

Arguing for arguing sake I think. Some people just love to start an argument or take the so called high ground.

Currantbeings
Please forgive; I'd forgotten he gave your pregnancy as part of the reason for his selfish stupidity.
And of course he's not throwing you out or walking away. Though that actually happens a lot more than people may realize. My father walked out on my mother 3 weeks before her due date, and when I was born, he was in a club somewhere. He never came back.
I simply meant that your partner is doing what a partner is supposed to do; take care of you and your dc. Even though his actions led to this, he's at least being man enough to face all of it and his guilt and your anger everyday. Your mother can't help at the moment, and I'm glad you have him to do at least what is expected of him.
I know from some of your other threads that you're an excellent mother and that this baby is especially precious to you. That's what I meant about letting him do the work and releasing some of your anger in small doses. A major blowup could be harmful and you're smart to make your and your children's health your priority for the foreseeable future. As far as your truly justifiable anger, it won't go away. But there's no need to handle all of that right now. It's not going anywhere and that entire situation will be there when you're ready to deal with it on your terms. 💜💜💜

And of course he's not throwing you out or walking away. Though that actually happens a lot more than people may realize. My father walked out on my mother 3 weeks before her due date, and when I was born, he was in a club somewhere. He never came back.

There you have it - give him credit for not throwing you out or walking away (when he's the one who's done wrong).

Also judge all men's behaviour by beenwhere's father's behaviour and give them credit for that.

can't find a "shaking my head in disbelief" smiley do these will have to do.

That's me out in terms responding to this level of f*very.

Bless your heart and have a nice day now, y'hear.

Currant,
We haven't heard from you for a while. Did you have the baby? I think you said she's due about now.

Please let us know you're ok. I remember you were in the hospital and weren't sure if you'd go full-term.
💜

Hey Currant. Hope all is well. Did you have your baby?

How are you going @currantbeings