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Original poster

Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

943 replies

awesmum · 12/03/2019 19:00

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/03/2019 16:57

So glad she is home safe.

He sounds psychotic.

Enjoy cuddles and cuddles and cuddles this evening.

TougheningUp · 14/03/2019 17:04

I'm so glad she's home safe. It might be a good idea to photograph her, to show how grubby and untidy she is--and if her skin is flaring up, photo that too.

I hope your solicitor comes through for you and you don't have to allow him any more contact with her. This is an outrageous situation for you all to be in.

endofthelinefinally · 14/03/2019 17:08

Please take her to the GP so they can document the state of her skin and the fact that she has had no meds. This is so, so important. Independent verification and recording of everything.

SD1978 · 14/03/2019 17:17

This is the best news I've seen all day!!! I agree with documenting- photos and GP visit. Has he contacted you regarding you picking her up from nursery yet? I am continually amazed at what you have gone through, continue to go through, and how strong you and your family have been and continue to be. All the best. I really hope that something can be done about this behaviour to keep her safe and you more confident that she is xx

Shostakobitch · 14/03/2019 17:21

Also if you take her to the GP, they may also contact SS and add their voice to your concerns so they're more likely to act in helping you protect your daughter from him. Really glad she's back with you OP.

smartiecake · 14/03/2019 17:22

Fantastic news! Grin agree document everything, get nursery to write down details about her appearance, if they noted she was hungry etc. Brilliant news so relieved for you. The first thing I do when i get home from work is to check this thread and hope there is an update

Mrsmummy90 · 14/03/2019 17:24

I breathed a sigh of relief reading that! Please take photos of her looking grubby, record her saying she's hungry and take her to the doctors to get a formal report of her skin.

I seriously hope he ends up in jail.
How he expects to have her full time when he can't even care for her is beyond me!

Mix56 · 14/03/2019 17:55

So does he expect to collect her at the nursery later?
Can you also get your oldest Dd to make a statement that she was clearly hungry, unwashed & elated to have been "freed" ?

Disfordarkchocolate · 14/03/2019 18:08

I don't think he will be expecting to pick her up from nursery today. I think this was his way of returning her and him looking as much like he is being reasonable as possible (no chance).

MaHeidsGouping · 14/03/2019 18:31

Thankgod you have your little girl back!

I hope to God the courts sort him out and grant supervised visits in a contact centre only.

Star81 · 14/03/2019 18:59

So glad you have been able to see her. I would try to get the nursery to document what they have seen.

SospanFrangipan · 14/03/2019 19:06

So glad to read that she's back home with you and the other DCs Smile You're doing an amazing job Mamma x

Notverygrownup · 14/03/2019 19:31

OP have just read most of your first thread and all of this. You said that he has not committed a crime, but coersive control is now a crime. Surely your solicitor should be aware of that. It was the first thing that occurred to me on reading your OP.

Wishing you all the best. I am in awe of how you have held things together for your little ones. You are an amazing mum, and one day you will have the life you deserve and all of this will be far behind you.

Buzzbear34 · 14/03/2019 19:32

I've spent the last hour reading your previous thread. All I can say is omg. He's truly a psychopath. You have done so well in standing up to him. U really are an inspiration. I'm not sure I would have kept it together like you I think I would have the shovel out.
Keep going I will follow this thread. The court will see him for what he is. Patience is a virtue but keep doing what your doing. X

AcrossthePond55 · 14/03/2019 19:43

Oh thank God!!!!!

I'm behind times (7 hours to be exact) but if you didn't think to call your solicitor as soon as you got home, do so first thing tomorrow.

And remember that keeping her home from nursery is NOT obstructing contact or denying access in any way. It's simply keeping her home. Do not contact him in any way. Let him ask you to see her. But of course, consult your solicitor.

Applesandpears23 · 14/03/2019 19:49

So glad to hear she is back home.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 14/03/2019 20:26

Just reiterating everyone's messages, I'm so relieved for you and your little girl. Ensure your solicitor does their job properly. Have a lovely evening Flowers

AprilBaby29 · 14/03/2019 20:59

Been following your story but not commented, just wanted to say I'm absolutely thrilled you have her back with you! You're amazing Flowers

MonaChopsis · 14/03/2019 21:12

So glad she's back with you. Another one saying I hope you took photos of her, please ask nursery to write down their impressions of how she was, please find a way of stopping unsupervised contact ASAP.

otterturk · 14/03/2019 21:37

I've lurked for months OP, admiring your incredible strength. Your update just made me shed a few tears; I'm so glad your baby is home.

MotherOfDragonite · 14/03/2019 22:05

I'm so relieved for you. Although I know this does not solve things, it feels so good to think she is back with her mummy (and that you know she is safe with you!)

Cabinetoffthewall · 14/03/2019 22:13

Delurking to say what an amazing woman and mum you sound!

💐💐💐💐

Barmaid101 · 14/03/2019 22:19

Thank goodness she is back where she belongs. Please ask nursery to make a record of how she was when she was dropped off and her reaction being reunited with you.
Also keep a note of how her behaviour has been affected.

almondfinger · 14/03/2019 22:37

Awesmum you are AWESOME.

Just spent the last 2 hours reading your entire thread. I felt jittery, nervous, shocked, disgusted, furious. I cant even begin to imagine what it's been like for you. And still you held on to the moral high ground. You're incredible.

You need to stop being reasonable towards him with regards to contact now. I was amazed at your giving him weekends he wanted pretty much whenever he wanted. You have done everything by the book and he couldn't give a flying fu(k about you, your kids or evidently 'his Princess'. I suspect he had had enough of the hard graft of a toddler by today and that's why he dropped her to nursery. And it's also the only way left to him of teaching you a lesson. I think using children as pawns is despicable.

Who doesn't look after their child's skin condition? What parent would look at a sore itchy little child and think 'that'll teach her'. Her being you.

Carrying a child to the toilet while he goes rings all sorts of alarm bells. He is a prick of the highest order.

You mention wanting to be reasonable with contact so that when he pulls his controlling stunts as he has done with your other children and she is 13, you'll be there for her (sorry paraphrasing). Why would you give him 10 years of pouring poison in her ear if you can at all limit it? Once she starts school and forming her own opinions and not want that asshole carrying her around he's going to change his tune towards her very quickly. I don't know what sort of a 'path' he is, but he is one. I hope he has as little contact with her as possible. I wouldn't even discuss maintaining any sort of contact with your older children. He has made it obvious he despises them. Keep them away from him.

I hope tonight was quiet and just the 5 of you.

Original poster
awesmum · 14/03/2019 22:38

Thank you for all the lovely messages. I have just caught up, I was busy tying bows in ponies manes, and being fed wooden ice creams. She's has veggies, fruit and yogurts for dinner. A long soak in a magical bath - bubbles and glow sticks. She had everyone sat on the rug after dinner for a chat. We've had 400 rounds of rock-a-baby she only normally wants this when tired or poorly, I do wonder when my kids realise I have actually changed the words - I hated the last line and changed it to 'and mummy will catch you cradle and all'. Soppy I know. She keeps saying I have my family and reeling off our names. She had a 10 minute chat on the phone with grandma and has tried on her new socks. A cuddle to sleep and all's right in her world.

Nursery are taking and keeping note of how she is, and what's happening. Nursery manager has informed the girls that need to know to keep an eye on her. She told me again how intimidating they all find him.

An early night for me. The battle commenced tomorrow, but for tonight I have all my ducks in their nest.

OP posts:
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