Dating thread 150 - I get knocked down, but I get up again....

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

For all of those with height requirements what’s the cut off? And is that because you are tall or just a preference? Is height as much of a killer for men as women? I’m very short and I hate the idea of a load of men saying ‘nothing shorter than 5’4”’ (which is still like a giant compared to me!!) I’ve had partners from 5’6” to 6’4”. I love 5’10/11 ish as it makes me feel all safe and protected. But my current iron is short.

Also my son is going to be short. These threads have made me worry if he’s going to struggle to find a gf.

@TooOldForThis67 is this a guy from fab? I've missed the back story- interested as I've just had this convo with Mr S

So after my disappointing liaison with Mr Footballer, me and Mr S have had a proper talk today. I laid everything out to him- he is a 'proper' swinger, into untold kinky shit which some of is way beyond my comfort levels.
I told him that I can't promise I will ever want a 3some or to swing and it's more like a 'hell never' than a maybe, and also that it can't be kinky sex every time, sometimes it needs to be normal and vanilla. If he can't handle that then we should go no further. He absolutely assures me that I am enough and that he would only be interested in more if I showed an interest but at the moment he doesn't want to share me.
SO, we have both agreed to give it a go and see where it leads. Apps deleted and fab profiles hidden... eek!

Literally as I posted the last message he messages and talks about kinky shit right after we had agreed tonight we would chill at watch a movie. FML.

notcool I am 5.9. I would prefer a man over 6foot so they are taller than me when I wear heels. Mr TSLawyer is 5.8

Super news 30something

Oh no 30something 🙈

Oh bloody hell 30

NotCool one of my son's is not tall (he's in his 20s) and he has a girlfriend. It doesn't seem to cause him issues.

I am 5ft 6 and a half. I prefer 5ft11 and above but will potentially go for 5ft 10. Thing is most guys who say they are 5ft10 on apps are actually 5ft8 and unless I'm in flip flops we're basically going to be the same height. Went out with one guy that was supposedly 5ft10 and when we kissed it really felt like he was exactly the same size as me. I just like to feel that a guy is bigger than me, it's a key part of physical attraction for me.

No word yet from Mr Italian. I am fairly confident he will message and he did say he has been burned in the past when he's said/done things that appear 'keen', so it may be that, and we were never daily texters either, more like every few days. But if I haven't heard anything by this evening I might just text and say hope he is feeling better (as he wasn't well on Friday).

I've not seen him online on Match, so that's one good thing!

@30somethingandsingle maybe see how he is when he's actually at yours?

@Notcoolmum I'm only 5'3 and tend to only go for guys 5'10 and above. As above it's part of physical attraction for me. I've had guys say I'm too short though 🤷. My ex was 6' and my ex before that was 6'3. I should add that all my friends don't have height as a preference so I wouldn't say it's an overly common thing. Also, I know it's superficial but I've never had any issue with a guy saying I'm too short. Just a preference 😊.

@30somethingandsingle I do think that for some people, their sexuality is such a big part of their overall persona they find it near on impossible to tone it down to an acceptable level. I'd carry on, but tread carefully and set some lines in the sand for yourself. It's very easy to start accepting more and more boundaries being pushed the longer you are in a relationship because of the time and emotion invested. I hope it works out for you as you do really seem to like him, but remember your wants and needs as well.

I'm 5ft 6 and love a guy being 6ft or taller - yes it's that whole making me feel more feminine and small thing. Nowt like a guy resting his chin on the top of your head whilst you've got your head snuggled into his chest. Fizzy knicker alert 🙈

Good to hear it's not just me that thinks Mr Biker/Boner's comments were out of order.
I don't think the text was meant to be crude. More that he was trying to apologise for an awkward goodbye. But I can't see him again after that. If the date had been flirty with lots of chemistry that would be different.

Now to read through the thread properly. You're all so busy!

I'm nearly 5'11 and can't date men over six foot. All my ex's range from 5'6 lol to my height. I did see someone last summer of 6'2 but he had a loud deep bellowing voice and put me off even more. Had to keep reminding him to keep his voice down as I sneaked him in house when son was in bed

I like a tall man too, prefer over 6ft by 5'11 just scrapes in.

Mr S wanted me to dress up for some role play when he gets here later. I've just been brave and told him no, that can wait.
I have a high sex drive don't get me wrong, but if he is pursuing me for more than sex well, I feel he should put effort into more than just sex.

30something - no MrBE is not from Fab, but he should be, lol. He's the one that I said was a cross btw Christian Grey and Hulk Hogan. I enjoyed the experience but defo wouldn't want it every time. Plus he's done lots of other stuff I wouldn't want to do. I ended it cos he wouldn't answer my questions about what he expected of me. He wants a relationship tho. He's obviously putting the feelers out for a 2nd chance.

Focus I went to their place and I have had some limited experience with a woman before.

30something I would tread carefully and be clear about your boundaries as in my experience kinks are like itches that need to be scratched from time to time.

Well surprise surprise Mr Much Younger has just Whatsapp'd me announcing that he is feeling much better now and asking if I am free on Wednesday. He didn't even read my message from Friday evening until today despite being online numerous times during the weekend (yes I did look ). He was also on POF but couldn't be bothered to reply to my text, despite having let me down hours before the comedy show on Friday. I have not read his message yet (just saw it on preview on my phone) so I intend to leave it until tomorrow to read it. I know that is childish but I don't want him to think that I am at his beck and call. I will think about whether I do want to see him again, and if I do, he will have to make the effort to meet me somewhere convenient for me, and I will not dtd with him.

Meanwhile both Mr Eco Warrior and Mr Tennis are texting me regularly and seem very keen.

Lovemusic33 I hope you've sent that message by now. You need to do it today and stop finding excuses to put it off. It doesn't matter what Mr SA is doing when you send it. Waiting for the right moment when he's not asleep/with friends/phone off etc is just giving him more control.

BatshitCrazyWoman I hope he had a really good reason. But he needs to apologise and make it up to you. Although I've heard so many excuses, I don't believe anything now.

LilyRose88 good to hear it went well last night. And even better than it might be a regular thing.

JeSuisPrest I met a bloke who made that excuse for not wearing a condom as well. That was a big no thanks from me.

TooOldForThis67 hope your date with Mr Gardener goes well. Especially after your Facetime, it sounds good.

30somethingandsingle be careful. I hope he isn't just saying what he thinks you want to hear and will try and talk you into the kinky stuff later.

I'm 5'8 and prefer a taller, manly man. I've tried dating men who were supposed to be the same height but I end up looking over their head. It makes me feel huge.

@TooOldForThis67 pmsl! I think I missed that comparison. Just snorted my coffee!

Hey everyone. Just catching up on the thread.

love have you sent the text?

30something yeah totally agree. If he wants more he has to put the effort in. Well done on holding your ground

I had the chat this morning with Mr old iron (7ish dates but saw he was on tinder via a mate. No idea if active etc). I just said....do you want to keep seeing me? He said yes really enjoys. I said ' What about ground rules? Are we seeing other people or not?' He said no. And then I went on about contraception going forward. So, feel like this is a line in the sand. Whatever we were....occassional hook ups/mostly sex. It's now more exclusive and dating.

Mr Italian has messaged asking for a second date 😊😊

Hmm @30somethingandsingle, yes that is a bit crap when you've literally just talked about it not being just sex 🙄

@Lovemusic33 agree. There is no reason not to send it whatever he's doing, you are just putting it off.

@TooOldForThis67 what do you think about Mr BE? Possible second chance? There did seem to be a lot of potential before.

30 - I’d be very careful as swinging lifestyle is very tempting once into it. I’d be worried he’d do it without you

@ccgirr that is my concern too. I'm not going in to it blind and I'm going to tread carefully. He's probably not the best choice for me but time will tell.

Lily - Defo keep him waiting and if there is a next time, make him do all the running.
super - Yey! Pleased for you.
30something - I'm worried about my boundaries being pushed as well.
love - Have you msg him yet?

I'm 5.7. I prefer 6 and over but actually as long as they're over 5.8 it's fine if I fancy them. And if they're broad. I can do 5.8 and broad. But not skinny. Mind you I wouldn't like 6.2 and skinny either!

@shitwithsugaron I ❤️ ginger. Ginger, bearded, hairy and 6'. Heaven.

I never ever wear heels do I guess that helps with height.