Dating thread 150 - I get knocked down, but I get up again....

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

myold didn't see your last update with the ignoring text. Saves you some wondering if he's being like that already hah.

Thanks Shit ,he’s really making me frustrated, been messaging me since 6.30am trying to make me feel bad for not letting him come over, I’m just annoyed that everything always on his terms, I’m free tonight and tomorrow but he won’t make himself available but expected me too last night. I have now left my phone upstairs and not responded to his last messages, will let him stew for the day. I really think that he doesn’t know how to have a relationship, it sounds like all his past relationships were based around sex and then as soon as things went a bit wrong or the woman wanted more than sex it was over. I’m going to switch the phone off for the day, it’s my dd’s Birthday so I’m going to take her out for a meal and a bit of shopping.

The reasons I gave him for not coming over were that I’m on my period (true) and that Friday nights I spend with dd1 as we watch tv together, also I had been to work and was tired. He was trying very hard to persuade me. Not sure that it’s because he’s into me, he’s just into the sex. If he had said “I have really missed you this week and want to see you” then I might have been tempted but he didn’t, he basically wanted sex.

love so what are you thinking going forward? Having a chat about what you want vs what he wants or just leaving it and seeing if he changes his act?

Gah, I wrote a long post and lost it - probably for the best... the gist is MrAbs dumped me on Tuesday night - he cares about me, thinks I'm great but isn't ever going to love me the way he should and doesn't think it's fair to let me carry on thinking we may have a future together. So that's 4 months I won't get back. I was pretty cut up but determined not to get too down about it so I got back online an hour after he dumped me and had a coffee date with a lovely guy yesterday who I'll call MrPlumber. Sparks flying all over, he talks the talk about what he wants from a relationship, I find him incredibly physically attractive (beard, 6ft 2, gym fanatic so hot as hell, manual job which always gives me fanny gallops 😳). He appears to feel the same way - non stop messaging after our date and we're meeting again tomorrow - at a local hotel, don't flame me 🙈, I just need to get MrAbs out of my head/heart.

Good luck to all who have dates this weekend. I'll try and catch up on the thread now.

I don’t know super, not sure what to do for the best. When I see him things are always pretty good but for me I’m not seeing him enough and we are not doing enough together other than sex and talking. He did try last week, we did go out for breakfast and then he planned to take me for a walk but we ended up in bed. I have tried dropping a few hints by text that I want more than just sex but he’s either ignored those hints of he doesn’t get them. The sex is pretty good but if he doesn’t want a relationship then I want to be able to see other people as going 10 days or more between seeing each other is going to make me feel pretty bored and lonely (I have lots of free time) and I want someone I can do things with, I like going on dates and meeting people that share my hobbies, I like company.

JeSuis sorry it didn’t work out, I hate being dumped but your right about getting straight back online and arranging more dates, it helps a lot and I will do the same if Mr SA does the same to me, it’s just annoying when you feel like months have been wasted chasing something that isn’t there.

myold - perhaps he is on the autism spectrum - little eye contact and no response to social cue's. Sounds like it's for the best not seeing him again tho.
super - I've met a lot of rigid people too but I honestly thought most people were 'fixed' personality wise. I'm defo not a people pleaser so it's not that I'm trying too hard.
love - I'm dying to find out what his messages say today while you're letting him stew! Lol. Why can't he see you when he's free, has he given any reasonable reasons?

Good luck to those on dates tonight.

love - meant when you're free

TooOld I don’t know, he hasn’t told me what he’s up too over the weekend, I know he’s not working, he said he can’t see me until Tuesday (when it suits him). He will often message me and ask me what I’m up too but doesn’t tell me what he’s up to, he doesn’t really say much in text but then when I see him he tells me all about his week. The last message he sent was a sexual one (asking if I wanted to see a video), I haven’t even opened the message as the previous message I sent was dropping a subtle hint that I might have missed him this week. He rarely messages me during the day, he will probably try and message me tonight but I will try and make myself unavailable.

JeSuis sorry to hear that you were dumped after 4 months - sounds similar to what happened to me last year. You are definitely doing the right thing getting back online. Hope all goes well with Mr Plumber.

My threesome is on for tonight, but Mr Even Younger has now gone flaky on me after being really keen yesterday. He has ignored two WhatsApp messages from me despite being online (not even read them) and was online on POF this morning. Gah!

Mr Much Younger has also been online and not been in touch, so I assume that I have been dumped/ghosted. I need to get myself on some dates - how do you all manage to find so many dates? I know that I am a bit fussy but all I seem to get are young guys who go all silly about how much they fancy me and then cry off when I won't talk dirty to them or send them mucky pics (and this is on POF). Not even a sniff of a date!

Sorry jesuis missed your post. Sorry about MrAbs and a shame he let it go on for 4mths before realising. You've done the right thing in getting back on it, best way to get someone out of your head. Hope all goes well tonight
love - Do you think he's playing games with you or he has someone else he's prioritising? Sounds like it's make or break time tho. Defo make yourself unavailable even if you're dying for the company sex. He needs to learn a lesson!

Love I think you need to call it a day with Mr SA. You gave him legitimate reasons why you couldn't see him last night. And today he's hassling you about it. You don't need that. Or the constant sex references.

TooOldForThis67 never thought about the possibility of him being autistic. He did make eye contact quite a bit last night but only when he was waiting for me to say something.
I asked all about his family, picking up on something he said. He didn't ask a single question about mine. His loss. Next!

JeSuisPrest sorry to hear about Mr Abs. Good for you for getting back out there. Enjoy Mr Plumber!

@jesuisprest I like the sound of MrPlumber

@lilyrose88 you’re my hero. I always thought I’d get on with a woman physically

@love MrSA sounds like a plank. I can’t believe he was still pushing you during Shark Week. I’m not anti period sex but I think I would only be comfortable with a long term partner doing it

Can’t wait to hear about everyone’s dates.

Diet still on!

TooOld I think he’s possibly playing games, I don’t think there’s anyone else because when I do see him he does tell me what he has done and he has been working pretty much non stop for the last 3 weeks (so no time to really see anyone else), he’s the one that brought up the “coming off of apps and not dating anyone else thing”, I think he wants me to question him but I don’t want to be nosey and ask what he’s up too, he has done this before with something else (told me limited details about something and expected me to ask questions). I don’t want to have to question things as it’s not really my business what he’s up too.

Haven’t finished reading since jesuis post but just wanted to say so sorry jesuis and how shit for you-I literally couldn’t believe your post and was so shocked to read that!no flaming at all for getting back on the horse and going for it with new iron.snesing hugs xx

Sending

Thanks for the the sympathies ladies, at one point actually thought he may as well just play Meatloaf's 2 out of 3 ain't bad and save himself the angst 😂

Mr Plumber is 2 inches taller, still has the abs (and the v 😳) and actually leaves the house to go out on proper dates which MrAbs never did. It was all gym and football. Onwards and upwards, I am the prize 👍👍

Je suis - good for you! His loss. At least it was just 4 months and not longer
Love- I think mr sa needs dumping
Lily- enjoy tonight. Other 2 sound too flakey to be bothered about. Hate being ignored.

love yeah for sure...going out, having fun and being available more is part and parcel of getting to know someone and having a good time. I mean...irrespective of what he wants - that's what you want and currently he isn't providing. There'll be men out there who want the whole package!

jesuis jeez 4 months what a bummer. Still ....great to see you jumping back on the horse..is that a saying?? No point moping.

Gotham thank you, I'm not sure whether I am hero material. I may totally chicken out tonight but it is one of those things that I have always wanted to do. I will report back tomorrow.

I have just been through POF and 'favourited' about 10 guys, and two of them have messaged me, so we will see what happens. OLD is so full of flaky people!

@supercali77 I fully intend to get on the horse and ride it for all it's worth 🙈😂

jesuis enjoy the ride! Sorry about Mr Abs, but good for you, getting back out there immediately. Does Mr Plumber know you're just out of a relationship?

Love sorry to be blunt but Mr SA is thinking only of himself and his dick, he has no thought or concern for you as a person and you need to call a halt to this charade as it is not making you happy and is not - and never will be - what you want. Just say no, byeee!

So sorry to hear your news JeSuis but good on you for getting back out there - enjoy Mr Plumber!

Love I'd call it a day - doesn't matter what he's saying, he's showing you he's thinking only about sex. Someone upthread posted some words suggested by Matthew Hussey which you could tweak ...