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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 150 - I get knocked down, but I get up again....

999 replies

DaffoDeffo · 11/03/2019 15:28

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

OP posts:
MIA12 · 13/03/2019 14:17

It is odd isn’t it Notcool I did get some of the ingredients for dinner and some treats for after too, but I think I may spell out the 120 mile round trip to his house is a pretty big contribution if it happens again.

Love I’m a big animal lover and have dogs & cats too so definitely in the ‘both’ category with you Grin

Notcoolmum · 13/03/2019 14:18

batshit better no date than a bad date!!

leonasa · 13/03/2019 14:19

Hi everyone! Just catching up with the thread, you've all been busy!

MIA I understand the cat thing, I've got two, and I often seem to date guys who are allergic to them! Obviously in the end that would be a problem, but I also feel if I met the love of my life we'd work something out? I would be less worried about that than the beer thing actually, definitely keep an eye on that.

Marlboro that would be a deal breaker for me. You can't help it if it's important to your attraction to someone.

Shitwithsugaron def order some stuff and go back!

Cassettes I'm going back right now to read up on Mr Tights

Update from me, I'm back from my work trip, have kept in touch with most of the irons while away, apart from one who I'm going to message later to say I think we should leave it, he lives a bit far away and I'm not really feeling it but I'm not going to ghost him.

So, I have four and a half irons (I just remembered the half one so I guess that doesn't say that much, he's keen to meet up but hasn't really kept in touch in the meantime.

They are:

MrLove seems genuinely lovely/fanciable, we have quite a lot in common, I call him this as his profile says that's what he's looking for and he wants the whole shebang, marriage, kids etc. chatting a lot now after a slowish start though we haven't talked about meeting up yet.

MrSwede that's his nationality, he lives in London but travels a lot. We work in the same industry and have a lot to talk about on that score. Bit worried about his availability though - he's currently away for work for the next month and I think that's a relatively regular occurrence.

MrItalian fit af from his pics! He makes me laugh too. He's asked me out for a drink (before I left), now I'm back I've just messaged saying we should get it soon.

MrSailor seems nice, upfront, clever, wants to go out for a drink but he isn't always the best at answering messages, so we'll see.

Mr Doctor not 100 percent sure I fancy him but he is interesting and funny. Good looking but just maybe not my type. He's the half iron, supposedly we are doing something this weekend but I'm not that keen about his lack of keeping in touch otherwise.

Then there is Mr Non Monogamous, kind of back on the scene, aargh. He's being really sweet and texting me lots but then he always was even though he didn't want a relationship. Not sure if he's just trying to keep me as an option. Sometimes I wonder if I should have been more open to just seeing how it went, other times I think I'm being a total idiot for even replying to him! I will see what happens, but I'm not going to be chasing it at all.

Sorry for the long list - I'm writing this as much for me to get them all straight in my head!😆

BatshitCrazyWoman · 13/03/2019 14:19

True Not but it's so rare I have lots of time free at the weekend! Might ask Mr Curry for a coffee ....

MIA12 · 13/03/2019 14:22

I did tease him this morning when he asked if I’d had a good evening Batshit something along the lines of ‘yes it was lovely until you went all weird about cats despite there being one in almost every photo I have on my profile’ Hmm Grin

Mr MartialArts loves animals and nature so that’s an advantage he’s just gained himself.

Weird how people can go off the boil over one comment but at least you know he’s a sensitive snowflake now before investing more time in him. Still time for a swipe to find a new date for the weekend!

CassettesAreCool · 13/03/2019 14:24

MIA 120 miles and you had to bring his beer???

MIA12 · 13/03/2019 14:28

leonasa you’ve got a fair few irons there! I’d start meeting them all soon so you can whittle down the ones you actually get on with in person. Mr Italian and Mr Sailor sound like good options?

MIA12 · 13/03/2019 14:29

Yep Cassettes I must have mug written on my forehead.

leonasa · 13/03/2019 14:39

Cassettes I'm all caught up - that is hilarious :)))

Richdeniro, saw your explanation re love bombing, interested to know, what is the cluster B spectrum?

MIA yes definitely need to start whittling! ☺️ just chatting to Mr Italian and getting a date in the diary now. Agree on him and Mr Sailor. I'd quite like to meet MrLove too :)

leonasa · 13/03/2019 14:49

Me and Mr Italian are on for Friday night :)

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 13/03/2019 14:56

leonasa great list..I really need some more irons. Currently have a child free weekend coming up but Mr Big has his kids and Mr short is away. Talking to a few others but not interested enough to call them irons yet

Notcoolmum · 13/03/2019 15:00

Ooh leonasa you are doing enough dating for all of us. I shall sit back and live vicariously through you this weekend! So going away for work didn't hurt your dating prospects at all. They have certainly hotted up :)

I missed you travelled 120 miles to see him MIA. So you drove 120 miles, brought him beer and didnt DTD?!

Auba14 · 13/03/2019 15:16

Mia you drove 120 miles and HE asked YOU to stop at Tesco and get him beer?! Lol I’d be running for the hills after that. And that’s before the comments about your cats.

Is he one of those people who think they’re being funny or aloof by saying that he’d never have cats and hates them despite knowing you have them? That’s the only explanation I can think of for it. Anyway besides that there are way nicer (and closer to home) men out there for you!

Eesha · 13/03/2019 15:21

@MIA12 that's such a long way to travel, and he expects you to bring beer? Is he worth it?

Lovemusic33 · 13/03/2019 15:42

I wouldn’t trust any man that doesn’t like cats 😁 (sorry to those who don’t like them but cats are cool).

Talking of cats, a few years ago when I first started dating I had a guy come and stay at mine for the weekend and my cat developed a limp, took the cat to the vet and the limp vanished when we got to the vets. Every time this guy came to the house my cat would develop a limp, I’m pretty sure the cat was trying to tell me something. I dumped the guy after a few weeks and my cat was fine. Cats are not stupid, or cold 😁

MIA12 · 13/03/2019 15:57

Notcool I wasn’t 100% on DTD before I went anyway but after what he’d said it was off the cards because I’m not looking for just sex. He wanted to but wanted me to be comfortable with it too which I wasn’t.

Auba He wasn’t being funny or trying to wind me up I don’t think. I live in a rural area and struggling to find decent men nearby!

Eesha I wouldn’t mind the travelling if he turned out to be worth it. Guess the answer to that remains to be seen!

Love that’s so funny and definitely your cats way of telling you something! I can’t tell Mr Giant this but when I got home this morning one of my cats did a wee in the suitcase I took to his Shock They never normally have accidents!

Lovemusic33 · 13/03/2019 16:01

Cats know 😉

CassettesAreCool · 13/03/2019 16:07

I agree Love cats are intelligent and cool. It's just they tend to make me very aware of how uncool I am!

Dating story re cats: my ex FWB, Mr Cat, had a very elderly moggy. I only visited his house once. It was an extremely cat-centred setup, and the cat complained loudly if there were any shut doors, so he had free rein. I was fine with that, until I realised when DTD that the cat was on the bed next to me, watching, and Mr Cat was looking at and stroking the cat while ...umm... well, you get the picture. Cue rapid exit.

Man4allseasons · 13/03/2019 16:16

Cassettes pmsl! Grin

TooOldForThis67 · 13/03/2019 16:16

cassettes I'm dying with laughter!

My dog often jumps on the bed in the middle of proceedings. I just say, it's ok, he doesn't watch. He doesn't either, he turns his back and sulks! Lol.

leonasa · 13/03/2019 16:31

Cassettes OMG now I get why you call him Mr Cat 😂😂😂

Notcoolmum · 13/03/2019 16:35

cassettes HE STROKED THE CAT WHILST DTD?!?! Cue 1000 pussy stroking jokes

tooold ooh I'd not like it if a man's dog jumped on the bed mid DTD... how do they react?

MIA ah good there was no pressure, but I think I'd have DTD after travelling all that way! I think your cat is saying it's a no go!

unique1986 · 13/03/2019 16:48

I'm scared of Cats.

Lovemusic33 · 13/03/2019 16:49

Cassettes I had the same happen to me but with the blokes dog (a very large dog). My cat gets shut out the bedroom when I have guests.

wishywashy6 · 13/03/2019 16:53

😂😂 cassettes

My dog walks out of the room if we start, like he's ashamed to know us 😂