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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

My husband has just hit me

517 replies

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 19:09

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

OP posts:
Halo84 · 11/03/2019 00:35

Please don’t reconcile with him because you’re pregnant.

AlaskaSometimes · 11/03/2019 04:29

You’re doing so well. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Getting away from him and talking to the police is the best thing for you right now.

namechange101145 · 11/03/2019 05:36

I found out I was pregnant last night - they asked if there was a chance I could be, so tested.
The police were fantastic. They will be coming home with me this morning to ensure I can get in OK, he will have gone to work anyway, then I will go to the station with them for them to take a statement.
I called my BF & told her last night.
I'm still in shock but feeling a little bit stronger this morning. I will not tell him about the pregnancy, especially as I'm aware that 2 lines do not mean a baby (sadly).
Thank you to everyone who has reassured & supported me xx

OP posts:
opinionminion · 11/03/2019 06:13

I'm thinking about you Thanks

Shoxfordian · 11/03/2019 06:22

Take care op Flowers

Hoplittlebunnies · 11/03/2019 06:26

Thinking of you OP. You've been so brave.

backinaminute · 11/03/2019 06:29

I also second how brave you are, well done op.

Rubytinsleslippers · 11/03/2019 06:44

Take care. Take time to rest and get over the shock.
He has created all this. Not you. Flowers

PirateWeasel · 11/03/2019 06:46

OP you're doing amazingly here, keep your chin up. I can't believe this guy works in education... What would the parents think if they knew he treats his wife like this?? He has soooo many consequences coming to bite him in the arse.

skunkatanka · 11/03/2019 06:47

Well done OP. Just keep going. One step at a time. Thanks

ScarletBitch · 11/03/2019 06:51

Thinking of youThanks

AuntieCJ · 11/03/2019 06:54

Stay strong, OP, you are doing brilliantly.

oatmilk4breakfast · 11/03/2019 06:55

Wow, that’s a lot to take in. So glad you’ll have the support of your friend and police this morning. Thinking of you. This will be hard I’m sure but hope it is the start of a new beginning for you without him. 💐

Gruzinkerbell1 · 11/03/2019 07:08

Wow OP, such a lot to process but you're being so very brave.

Has your husband tried to contact you?

wowfudge · 11/03/2019 07:13

I'm really glad you have support OP. What a hell of a day. Thinking of you x

namechange101145 · 11/03/2019 07:17

No, he's not yet tried to contact me.
I can't stop crying again. I woke up feeling strong & empowered & now the reality of what has happened has hit me. I genuinely can't express how sad I am. Part of me feels like I'm overreacting because I'm not black & blue. I was in a daze when I spoke to the police officer last night. I just cannot believe this is happening.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 11/03/2019 07:22

You are not over reacting - they wouldn't keep you in hospital for no reason. I'm glad the police are helping you today. Thinking of you.

OrangeJuiceandArmchairs · 11/03/2019 07:28

So sorry this is happening to you. You're doing great Thanks

Halo84 · 11/03/2019 07:30

You are not overreacting. Whether you are black and blue is irrelevant. He hit you. It’s not the first time
He sees nothing wrong hitting you.

I understand you love him. I understand you feel less than you are for being hit. But YOU are not. You are a victim. It’s in no way your fault. You did nothing wrong. Abusers count on their victims being ashamed and blaming themselves. Remember always you did the right thing by leaving.

He will try to manipulate you again. Remember that as well.

You’ve done a fabulous job so far. Stay strong!

wowfudge · 11/03/2019 07:30

It's too early to process everything OP, but there's something called the seven stages of grief which can be applied to lots of different situations to help understand your emotions. The first stage is shock and denial. Sounds like this is what you are going through. Stay strong and just take things as they come.

Justonemorepancake · 11/03/2019 07:36

Good luck for today OP. Flowers

LateMumma · 11/03/2019 07:37

Sending a gentle hug your way OP. Stay strong today xx

DoctorDread · 11/03/2019 07:37

So sorry you're going through this but know you have done the right thing

Sunnyjac · 11/03/2019 07:38

Flowers for you. Keep being strong, one step at a time and take the support x

Areyouongluedear · 11/03/2019 07:39

Good morning! Just read this thread and wanted to say

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

A lot happened yesterday but don’t feel guilty or dwell on anything, one step at a time. FlowersBrew

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