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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

My husband has just hit me

517 replies

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 19:09

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

OP posts:
Annasgirl · 10/03/2019 21:22

Just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are OP and we will be here to hold your hand. Saying a prayer for you here. So glad you got away safely. Please take the strength from here to stay away from him. I hope you meet the best people this evening and that they all look after you.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 10/03/2019 21:25

I just wanted to send you some support too, hun. You've done absolutely the right thing and I'm so very sorry you're in this position. It isn't your fault, it's his. He's a nasty piece of work, I hope the police get him out and I hope you're ok Thanks

Morgan12 · 10/03/2019 21:26

Well done for finding the strength to do this OP. I hope you are ok as can be and please keep us updated. Sending hugs Flowers

crunchie12 · 10/03/2019 21:28

Hi OP. This has probably already been said but get in touch with Women's Aid. I hope you're ok. You can do this xxx

Jaxinthebox · 10/03/2019 21:29

I just wanted to let you know that this is NOT your fault and to wish you strength and hope you are ok.

JaneEyre07 · 10/03/2019 21:31

A & E staff are sadly very used to this, and will know all the right things for you to get the right help.

I'm just north of Gloucester if that's any help Flowers

lizmum5 · 10/03/2019 21:32

Sw here too, were all here for you I've been there too, lots of love xxx

CaseofEllen · 10/03/2019 21:34

Thanks for you OP. You will get through this! Don't go back to him xx

Legofriday · 10/03/2019 21:35

OP, you are amazing. I've been worrying about you all day, but I didn't have anything useful to say. I don't know any of the stuff that so many brilliant posters here do.

But I'm so impressed that you've gone to A&E and that you're going to talk to the police. I'm so impressed. And so pleased for you that you're taking these huge steps for yourself. It's amazing - and you are just fantastic. Keep going forward. You're a remarkably brave woman.

BlueDotty · 10/03/2019 21:36

You're doing so well. You can do this. X

Glitterandunicorns · 10/03/2019 21:37

OP, I just wanted to say how very brave I think you are. I know it must be a very difficult situation for you, but you're handling it like a boss. Despite that, I'm here to offer a handhold regardless. Thanks

Whohasnickedmyvodka · 10/03/2019 21:39

Hi op im im the southwest i live near a and e here if you need some rl help xxx

HollyLM · 10/03/2019 21:40

..... how are you?

VioletCharlotte · 10/03/2019 21:41

Sounds like you're in good hands and being looked after, you're safe now. That feeling of total disbelief this has happened is normal 😥 I felt the same when it happened to me, it's like being in some sort of awful dream. Leaving an abuser is a very hard thing to do, it must have taken a huge amount of courage to go to a&e and tell the nurse x

TwistinMyMelon · 10/03/2019 21:44

Hi op. I am in the south west too. I'm a go so know how to respect confidentiality, but I can tell you that from personal and professional experience, domestic violence affects many women from all walks of life and it is never their fault or something they should be ashamed of.

Glad you have had the courage to get the help you need. Let me know if I can help at all. Well done you for being so brave. 🌻

Saffkeysnow · 10/03/2019 21:46

No one deserve to be assaulted in their own home,I am so sad for you.Im here in Cheltenham so if you need anything give me a shout Smile

Starlight456 · 10/03/2019 21:49

So glad you have come to A&E . Remember you didn’t create this situation. He has hit you twice before and you need to stop him doing it again.

ItCanOnlyGetBetterRight · 10/03/2019 21:49

Sometimes your life changes so fast and so unexpectedly it's absolutely terrifying but it's also okay to be scared and upset and not know what's going to happen. One day at a time. Every day is a new day and might be better, might be worse, but it's new. You'll be okay and you're unbelievably amazing for getting to hospital and being brave. Tell the police everything and they will help you. You need help. You're strong and you're powerful and you WILL be okay.

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 21:50

I'm completely overwhelmed by all the support, thank you so, so much.
I've just found out that I'm pregnant. We had a miscarriage at the end of the year & had been trying (3 years since everything happened, our relationship had been near-perfect since this afternoon).
I feel like a bomb has hit me.

I'm going to call my best friend & tell her everything. The dr suspects mild concussion. They are keeping me in this evening as I have no-one to stay with me tonight. I'm waiting for the police & will then call BF.

Honestly I feel like someone has just picked me up & put me down in someone else's life. This all feels so surreal.

OP posts:
Daisypie · 10/03/2019 21:53

So glad you are getting care and you are safe. Just get through today. You have a long time to focus on the pregnancy.

FrozenMargarita17 · 10/03/2019 21:56
Thanks
TwistinMyMelon · 10/03/2019 21:56

Oh wow op - literally just now in a&e? I know how wanted that baby will be after a loss. However consider carefully whether to tell dp you are pregnant if he doesn't already know.

I lost a baby recently in an abusive relationship. I would have given anything to be pregnant again but now am half glad I am not tied to him.

RedTartanLass · 10/03/2019 21:58
Thanks
Boxingmum · 10/03/2019 22:00

Congratulations on the pregnancy, you can do this without him ... be safer for you both if you do! Children Need positive role models, a man that hits women is not what you want your child around.
You are so brave, rest as much as you can!
You have baby to look out for now not just yourself, you have to leave him now!!!! For your baby.
💐💐💐💐

Wolfiefan · 10/03/2019 22:00

Do tell your bf. get all the RL support you can. It will feel surreal. Of course it will. You’re in the right place for now.

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