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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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My husband has just hit me

517 replies

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 19:09

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

OP posts:
ChristinaMarlowe · 11/03/2019 17:50

No they definitely can't take your baby away because you took sertraline! Do your meditation as someone said, have a nice sweet tea and just get your next little step (seeing the police again) over with. You'll feel much better. You're doing so, so well. I'm in Torbay if that's close, feel free to pm me. You are worth more than how he's made you feel. Remember that! It's hard to get over losing someone you love but honestly, you lost him when he first hurt you. You have nothing to lose now - He's not the man you fell in love with, he's a bully that you can walk away from. It's him that has lost you. Gentle hugs OP Thanks

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 11/03/2019 17:57

Heavens above, this thread is gut wrenching to read.

OP not a chance in hell that you would be deemed an “unfit mother” because you took Serataline! Not a chance in hell.

timeisnotaline · 11/03/2019 17:59

Sertraline is safe to take while breastfeeding. They know this because there are so many amazing mums out there taking care of their beautiful babies that also happen to need ads. It’s absolutely definitely not a reason to take a baby away!

Giraffesinscarves · 11/03/2019 18:14

There is no way they will take your baby away. Absolutely not.

Everything is scary and spinning out of control but it will start to slow down and you will feel better. Just trust in yourself to get through this. You've got this Flowers

ScarletBitch · 11/03/2019 18:17

When I worked in A&E we did pregnancy tests on every woman just in case it affected any treatment or scans. It's usually done when we test your urine for infections etc. I believe you OP, ignore the goady posters. Keep your head up and believe in yourself.

Girlinstripedpyjamas · 11/03/2019 18:21

Please stay strong. Think what you’d say to a friend in this situation. That always helps me as we often give your friends more kindness than ourselves xx

HeavenlyEyes · 11/03/2019 18:35

I just want to add - please contact Women's Aid and get yourself on the Freedom Programme at some point. I think you may qualify for legal aid - they will be able to advise you better anyway.

katykins85 · 11/03/2019 18:37

You are stronger than you think OP, you've got this Flowers

MrsBertBibby · 11/03/2019 18:38

Dear heart, as a sertraline-chugging Family solicitor and mum, I can assure you no one is going to take your baby away because you had appropriate treatment for depression.

Put it out of your mind.

Lilmissmissy · 11/03/2019 18:40

As hard as it is you need to leave! Speaking from experience, it will only get worse! And you deserve better so much better. Pack your things together and get away it sounds hard but it isnt i did and never looked back. Speak to the police if you think he is going to be persisant on wanting you back/get angry. Go stay with friends or can you go to parents house even while there away? Please please leave this situation. Feel free to message me for any support or advice. Good luck youve got this girl!!! Xxxxx

BarlowAndStraker · 11/03/2019 18:48

Wishing you all the best op, stay strong Flowers

SofaSurfer20 · 11/03/2019 19:00

How are you OP? X

HJWT · 11/03/2019 19:00

Hope your ok OP xxx

mama1980 · 11/03/2019 19:01

Stay strong op. You're being so brave.
They will not take your baby away for seeking medical treatment for a medical condition. They might do for staying with a violent man. You are absolutely doing the right thing,
One step at a time.

booellesmum · 11/03/2019 19:04

Hope you are ok and that the police being there meant he left without causing you any further grief.

MrsMyreton · 11/03/2019 19:10

Hope you are ok OP Thanks

Thehop · 11/03/2019 19:27

Hope you’re okay x

Prettyvase · 11/03/2019 19:34

Do not worry about Social Services taking your baby away op, that will never happen, not even if your dh puts you through hell, as long as you stay away from him.

Despite all the tireless and malicious accusations my best friend's abusive ex's expensive defence team made about my friend ( unfit mother, crazy, depressed, making it all up) they never succeeded in getting the court to believe him/them.

But they will and do expect you to co-parent eventually at least.

It's best that you have the heads up on these things because there has been countless threads on here where the abused wife or partner is led to believe once you have split up a father no longer has parental rights to see their child.

That is simply not the case so it is important you get as much information as possible about what happens next in these situations so you can be prepared.

DoctorDread · 11/03/2019 19:37

The fact that he has firm for this which will be traceable because he's been to counselling etc will go in your favour too OP. They won't take your baby. But they will want to see you safeguard your child. Which you will. You've got this op. Thanks

scoobyd2 · 11/03/2019 19:51

Thinking about you this evening OP, hoping you're OK and somewhere you feel safe Flowers

looondonn · 11/03/2019 19:52

I feel for you

Exactly the same day last year my bastard ex assaulted me
He got my 7 week old baby and flung her on sofa then took me to a room to kill me
His friend came Few hours later and I got free

I am so so sorry at what you are going through
Keep posting on here
These fab ladies kept me going
Some fools accused me of lying
Now we are free and I feel so so much better

Wishing you all the best
Ps sad to say d v is so so common quite a few of my friends in d v situations now and won't leave

timeisnotaline · 11/03/2019 20:01

Well in the ops case the baby isn’t born. She doesn’t have to name him on the birth certificate and in that case he’d have to take her to court to believe to establish parental rights. But that is a problem for another day - even without the ops current situation it is all a lot of hypothesising for 4 weeks preg, which is very early.

slapmyarseandcallmemary · 11/03/2019 20:08

Hope you're ok

Harumphharagh · 11/03/2019 20:10

looondon that is terrifying to read, I’m so glad you got away Flowers

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 11/03/2019 20:12

Re: naming him on the birth certificate. They're married. Doesn't that make a difference?

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