My husband has just hit me

[namechange101145]

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

You may not feel strong at the moment OP but you really are.

I finished reading" the woman at 72 Derry Lane" yesterday, then read this thread. It makes me grumpy with OH when I see how men treat women. This book had me seething at times. I cannot fathom how someone could be so violent to another human being.

So very sorry you are going thru this op, theres lots of good advice here...can l just add, you will recover from this, it is possible to be happy again, l know.

If you had stayed he could well have killed you, l saw a statistic that 21 women have been killed this year by their partners/husbands already.

Please don't make the mistake of thinking it couldn't happen to you, please don't take him back whatever he says......the risk is far to great.
One step at a time, and please remember in the future you will be happy again.

Stay strong OP

Please be aware that if you have a child with this man Social Sevices will be involved from the outset because of DV being flagged.

Good luck tonight, OP. I hope he goes quietly.

Stay strong. You want this man out of your life. You deserve better.

Thank you all
I've packed two bags, one each, and have called a hotel to confirm they have rooms available this evening.
I feel physically sick. I just realised I hadn't eaten anything but a biscuit at the station, made some toast which came straight back up. I have just started shaking again. The police are due here in 25 minutes.
We live in a lovely rural community with absolutely no crime or drama. I am so, so embarrassed.

It really hurt when he hit me, it really hurt when I hit my head but honest to god, that is nothing compared to the pain in my chest right now 😢 my heart is completely broken.

I can't remember who said but there was no photographic evidence. I have nothing. I am worried that my history of depression is going to go against me if this was taken to court, and a baby was involved. Could they take the baby away? I was prescribed Sertraline for around 12 months about 2 years ago.

No they won't take your baby away for treated depression.

(Staying with a violent man ...maybe yes)

op no one will take your baby just because you have suffered depression, as l understand it the only concern for ss is if you stay with and abusive man with a baby. You have already proved you are keeping yourself protected by going to the police.

Keep strong.

They will not see you as a risk to the baby because you've had depression! Especially as you sought help. You're understandably panicking a bit x

They absolutely won't take your baby away for treating your depression. Just like they wouldn't take away your baby if you'd received treatment for any other medical condition. Please don't worry

That pain in your chest won't be there forever if you find the strength to walk away for good. It will take time. But if you stay you'll experience that pain, over and over again! What you feel is one of the worst feelings in the world, but it will pass.... have faith, know you deserve better and be strong. You can do this and you will be ok. When are you parents back? Can you stay with them once they return? xx

But do book to see a counsellor to talk about everything

Your story resonates with me strongly, except it took me 7 years to go to the police, so you are being very brave. In my case, ex-h was arrested while I was giving my statement at the police station, and he was gone when I returned. He was released in the middle of the night with bail conditions not to come home. I also lived in a rural area and there was a bit of gossip, but people were on side and supportive in the main.

You will get through this and come out the other side. Just take small steps and keep looking ahead. Is there a friend who can be with you now?

Don't panic OP. I'm a little cross at posters saying SS are going to be on your case now. FFS. Don't terrify the woman! This is my issue with how DV is treated. Women are bloody victimised over and over again no matter which way the cat jumps if they report it. It shouldn't be that way.

Also resonating with me, but I already had two children and one on the way. Please don't think they will take the baby away from you. Yes they will keep an eye on you and will want to know what the arrangements are for the child to see their father (whether this be supervised etc), but they will absolutely not come and take the baby away just because you have suffered from depression previously. They will lay it on thick that they will not allow the baby to remain in a domestic situation, so you need to stay strong and know that this is the best thing for you and the baby.

Locking the bastards up would be a better use of their time than harassing victims. Fucking SS.

Do your headspace meditation or at least do some slow breathing and breath counting to help with he panic symptoms. Keep strong it'll be over soon (this bit) and you can try and relax. We're all with you xx

Just remind yourself that you have done what needed to be done. Don't balk now.

Also (just in case) do not sign anything in a police officers pocket book. I had an officer make me sign to say I didn't want to press charges whilst I was bereft and sobbing x

I'm sorry, i have nothing to add except to say that I think you have been incredibly brave through all this. I will be thinking of you this evening and hoping it all goes as smoothly as it can x

They'll have no fucking problem telling a court that it's in the child's best interests to see Daddy though will they!!!

Chill OP. Have the police arrived? Don't forget things like phone, charger, cash, wallet, any meds you're on, something to read etc. Bring a few changes of clothes too.

Take something with you from your life before him too. A picture, a letter, a teddy... Anything that predated your relationship. When I left my ex I had a pressed flower in a book that my grandma had given me years before. I used it as a reminder that I existed, was happy, had successes, had a life before him, and I would again.

So sorry you're going through this, OP. I just wanted to say that I'm amazed by your strength. You come across as such a sensible, strong, intelligent woman. You don't need him. You are doing the absolute right thing and you will be a thousand times happier without him.