My husband has just hit me

[namechange101145]

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

@KennyCalmIt Your post comes across as a rather sly passive-aggressive dig to undermine the credibility of the OP

Following

Agree with Grumplestilskin above.

And it’s not at all uncommon for people admitted overnight as OP described to be discharged as she has been.

Thinking of you OP

You are so incredibly brave.

I would feel as if I wasn’t doing my job properly by discharging such a vulnerable patient. I don’t know anybody that would’ve done that

If she had just fallen over then yes. But after suffering domestic violence and finding out she was pregnant, I can’t imagine anybody I work with discharging her so soon, so early, and without a visit from the dr and psych team. It’s not safe to do so, you’re failing the patient.

@KennyCalmIt - I did not refer to "two lines" in a literal sense. I didn't actually see the test they did, I have no idea what those tests look like. I meant that, to me, a positive pregnancy test is not a 100% confirmation that I am going to have a baby in November. It means that I'm pregnant right now.
I don't know why they allowed me to leave this morning without seeing a doctor first. In complete honesty, I didn't really care and I wasn't really listening. It wasn't the first thing on my mind.

Thank you @Grumplestilskin, MN is fantastic... until someone decides to assume that you're lying and make a goady remark. "What do you do on a Sunday night?" "Oh I just make a post about my worst fears becoming a reality...."

I was taken to A and E at 54, because my periods had not stopped I had a pregnancy test, that amused the family no end.

You're doing really well OP. We're all right beside you, holding your hand xx

Hi op
I'm a police officer, the likelihood is your dh will be arrested if you gave a statement of complaint.

They will offer some support services too.

Did you have any inkling you were pg?

Ignore@KennyCalmit OP - we're all behind you xx

Has your DH been in touch with you at all? I'm just wondering what sort of spin he is putting on it all.

Sending a big hug, you are doing so well, and I am sorry that you are going through this.
Lovely people in the SW there to you all.

Ignore@KennyCalmit OP - we're all behind you xx

Fgs have you not read my posts? My comments are aimed towards the hospital failing the op, not the op herself.
Discharging a pregnant domestic violence patient so early in the morning without seeing a dr is shocking and is actually quite neglectful!

And I’m really not accusing you of lying OP. I’m just gobsmacked at the hospital. Utterly shocked that you were discharged in your circumstances at that time of morning.

@KennyCalmit Sorry if I misunderstood your post.

@KennyCalmIt I am glad to hear that your post was meant to convey shock over the hospital's early discharge etc. I think it really depends on how thinly stretched resources are in different NHS trusts.

Hi OP so sorry this is happening to you. Can I ask are you newly wed, how long have you been married?

I have been at the station for the past couple of hours sorting things through. It took me a good hour and a half to give my statement because I just cried, it was awful.
They have advised me to pack him a bag and they will come here for
5.30pm. He is usually due home around 6.30pm. I will make sure I'm out then, I can't face seeing him right now. They said they will ask him to come to the station for questioning. They can't guarantee that he will agree to leave the house so have advised me to keep an emergency bag on me just in case, so I can stay at a hotel.

DH sent me a long, rambling Whatsapp basically saying that he doesn't know what to say, he needs to think about things, he's busy at work right now but can we talk tonight.
No apology. Nothing. It's as if it didn't happen.

I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I can't think that far ahead. Worst case scenario, I can put my horses out on grass and go to my DM's if he refuses to leave.

@hellenbackagen we were actively TTC after a loss, so knew there was a chance I could be. I am/was due on today, so just under 4 weeks pregnant. I haven't had any symptoms etc so thought we were out this month.

Sorry @kennycalmit, I completely misread your post in that case.
@Beaverhausen we have been together for 5 years, married for 9 months.

OP, I'm so impressed at your bravery. It's so good to hear that the police are being kind to you, and not at all surprising that you keep crying - you've had a massive shock. You are being extremely strong and focusing on "right now" is probably going to be a good plan for a while.

You are doing so well. You are an inspiration.
Leaving an abusive relationship is so so hard but so worth it. You will look back one day with no feelings for him and so much pride in yourself for taking these steps!
Keep going xxx

OP, you are doing amazingly well. Honestly, it would be much more unusual if you left him after the first time, or the second - most abused women go back many more than two times before they finally have the strength to leave. There’s no shame in this.

My mum was married three times, all of them abusive. Her third husband was always abusive and it gradually escalated - one night he water boarded her, tried to smother her with a pillow, shredded his passport to ruin a trip they’d planned together and threatened to throw her off the balcony. She left in a panic and came to me - she reconciled with him days later, and then a few months later she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

She never managed to get away from him. He then turned into a “model husband” (who still spoke to her like shit but never hit her again) because he knew that a few months of controlling himself would mean hundreds of thousands of pounds for him.

Life is too short, OP. I don’t know what you should do about the baby, that’s entirely up to you. I hope you can get away from him immediately before he does something worse - I’m genuinely worried for your safety.

Perhaps the fact he works in education is something you can make use of - perhaps if he agrees to move out and go away, to split the finances fairly and give you a quick and easy divorce, you can agree not to press charges. I would take legal advice first though, as if you do decide to keep the baby then it’s very important that there’s a record of his violence against you.

Sending lots of love

When you have time look up the freedom program. You will find lots of emotional abuse you didn’t recognise.

I asked my ex what he expected to happen after I left him . He expected to say sorry and things carry on the way they were . You are doing well op.

Can you put the horses on the grass for now so one less thing to think about ??? ( I know nothing about keeping horses)

I'm my area now we have
To arrest for all dv , it appears that yours they can still exercise some discretion and invite him in voluntarily.

One thing my force would do is issue a dvpn if he were not charged to give you 28 days breathing space where he cannot live with you , worth asking about op - I think they are dealing with this quite leniently.